This would be absolutely fine btw.
Remember when Joyce Lay was on the same floor of a hotel, she was harassed by a male colleague seriously.
My colleague went to drink kurudi he was banging at my door.We were on different wings but same floor, he saw the room when I was booking. I refused to open the door, he was like but what’s the difference we share an office. The next day I had to move to a completely different hotel.
As for dinners, I once accompanied a male colleague from out of town to dinner at his request. Btw I would not do this for anyone but he was the Chair of our Christian Fellowship so I trusted him. When I went to drop him at his hotel after the dinner alikatalia kwa Gari ATI I accompany him to his room. I gave him 2 minutes to chuck otherwise alale in my watchies structure.
Being alone anywhere with any man is a very dangerous thing. From sitting next to them in public transportation or flights, or long distance trips. Always try to seat next to another woman or book empty seats nxt to one already booked by a woman, to avoid being fondled when the man thinks you are asleep. Others will not leave you alone. They want to talk to you the whole trip. Hizi vitu ukiona Wana wake wanasema ziko Tena Sana.
Never ever go to meet any male professional unaccompanied. I had a very good academic supervisor but he always wanted us to meet in hotels, so what I would do was I’d always have some one accompany me. ALWAYS. So one day he asked me why I never go alone kwani I am scared of him. ATI he’s too old to be interested in women. Eventually I had to drop him bcz after kuona he will never get me alone.One day, he just called me and begged me to go to his hotel room. I never spoke to him again. I blocked him and looked for another supervisor.
I mean even former colleagues don’t make a mistake of meeting up with them alone. A former boss called me shortly after I exited and asked me to lunch, this is a man we worked together with a lot of mutual respect. I thought he was a very principled guy bcz he wasn’t the type to chase interns like other male bosses and colleagues. Kumbe ameniitia lunch, to tell me how he had been in love with me and how he is well off I dunno what crap. Nilimwacha hapo na malunch zake and I blocked him. Ladies never go alone with a male colleague even for a cup of tea. Always include a 3rd party even if it’s your boss akikataa just respectfully decline his offer.
Men generally are different from women, a woman can buy you lunch with no ulterior motive, roho Safi, men usually use these things as bait when they want something from you Especially when do it over and over. So even if the guy insists on paying, you can kind of reciprocate, maybe you buy them a snack or a Latte, so that you don’t ‘owe’ them. If it’s a client or some one looking for your business, never accept any offers and vouchers bcz these are generally thinly veiled bribes.
I’ve even been in trouble for declining to go and be alone with a male boss say on weekends. I’ve also declined working late alone bcz when shit hits the fan, all the blame goes to you. Remember the MP who raped his staff in his Westland office? So better have a policy and make it known that mambo za outside work hours watu wawili hapana. Bcz there’s pple who go to the office to screw bosses so you can even be mistaken for one.
The other thing is always have a weapon in your office. I have an extremely sharp knife in my top drawer at work, bcz men are strong, so you have to just protect yourself using a weapon incase of anything coz after you have already been raped or woteva it will be too late. Kuenda MeToo, oh my boss or male colleague did this to me Saa hio ushaumia. Take responsibility for your own security. Bcz especially Corporate world is a man’s world, hakuna mtu atataka kuskia oh HR help me my boss raped, fondled me. Hata HR hawataki hizo makesi.So it’s upto you and only you to protect yourself from such things. Kata mtu na kisu kwa jaguar vein he can not rape you when he is bleeding to death. Bcz after all these men are also so ruthless so pia wewe itabidi you become ruthless to protect yourself.
All these things are there. I’ve been in Corporate world for long and I can tell harassment is real especially when you are younger. At least once you are past a certain age and they see you are no nonsense basically they start having respect but it never ends. I’ve seen older and senior female bosses being harassed by their junior male subordinates. Sasa unashindwa huyu hata haogopi boss yake Jameni?
So after so many bad incidents I no longer trust any male colleague coz ni wengi I thought were beyond reproach, some you’ve known for years. One atafanya kitu hautaamini. So ladies it is better to be seen as arrogant or combative but you steer clear of the circumstances that enable male bosses or colleagues to harass you.
Though I have never been assaulted I thank God but I know what it means when we umeenda kufanya kazi and your colleagues or boss has turned you into a prey. My first job I was so harassed by my boss hadi I hated Sunday ifike nikifikiria the kind of stress waiting for me. One time he tried to fondle me in the office kitchen, nikamwagilia maji moto and that’s how I left the place coz I refused to be alone with him on weekends coz ananiambia niingie job when others are not there. Some one who is harassing me wen ofisi imejaa watu. I refuse to go he writes me warning letters. Hadi I started to dress like watu wa Owuor but nothing was working. You have Noone to turn to coz huyo anakusumbua ndio boss. My policy is better safe than sorry. Prevention is better than MeToo. Also pepper spray and very sharp objects are good for self defense coz the reality is that out here in Corporate world it’s a jungle. And you should never trust any man ATI bcz you have worked for years together in a respectful manner. Nakwambia utashanga.
There’s a guy I work with but he’s in another department, he was sent to be in charge of a certain region. He harassed all the women there until they all a signed a joint letter reporting him to the MD, he was recalled, so if you work under him as a woman hakuna kitu chafu hatakuambia. The women under him wamejionea. One day his wife who is now a CEO, was sick we went to visit her in hospital. Wacha atuambie vile huyo jamaa amemtesa. He used to be an MD and that time the wife had no job. Mpaka anamfungia kwa bedroom anaenda kulala na househelps now she’s the one who is the CEO. Nikasema kweli Mungu ni nani. He got a very big job but his record with women harassment. When the MD was asked about him, he just told them huyu utakuja kusumbua Wana wake huko and that’s how he lost that job. Mtu muovu Sana Sana. Anyway, hio ndio Hali ya Corporate life for women. It can be very rough but God is there. Si hata wale wako Saudi Arabia God is helping them? Women are in every sphere of life and they are there to stay. Against all odds.