Men in uniform must come to terms with the reality of hypergamy


Every graduation at Kenyatta University, there is always an innocent, well-meaning military officer who is always done dirty by a woman he has paid school fees (self-sponsored) for four years.

The situation replicates itself in Lang’ata Baracks where an army officer, through loans, stipends earned fighting enemy territory, risking arm and limb(and frequently his life), he takes a girl to CUEA, with hopes of settling down with her as a wife. A wife who after four years of education, suddenly realises that the man is toxic, narcissistic, and “it is not what I want”.

It happens every year, like clockwork. By and large, most men in the disciplined forces take it on the chin, like the men they are. A few do cock the gun and the result is usually the second leading femicide story on Prime Time TV, and the following day’s newspaper, followed by a lot shallow think pieces on social media from you know who about toxic masculinity.

I saw yesterday a screenshot of the Minister of Interior, Dr. Fred Matiang’i, saying that the Police Service will hire more pastors and Imams to higher ranks to counsel and pray for officers facing social-economic challenges. If at all true, this is an interesting solution that is guaranteed never to work. For instance, better pay may sort part of the problem than prayer, but let us carry on.

Neither Dr. Matiang’i, nor the Pastors and Imams can accurately diagnose what ails our men in uniform. From the diagnosis to prescription, everything is wrong. They just know there is a problem.

See, the military and police force are the most blue-pilled institutions anywhere in the world. It produced the highest number of cuc*ks per Capita than any demographic of men. Which ironical, considering that men of uniform brave the cold and the harshest working environment to keep us safe, to go about our business without worrying about criminals and external aggression. And they do a splendid job, which personally I am eternally grateful. This you would think that most men in forces will lean more towards alphadom!

Men of uniform are blue-pilled by design and unintentionally. Not their fault.

You take a young man, aged 18-26, at his most idealistic, through a training that has to reconfigure his mind for permanently, in order to be amenable to their duty. The training takes less than a year most of the time, and before long, he is out here, on a salary. Given the risky nature of his work, of course, he wants to marry as soon as possible, have a family and God forbid, if anything happens, he has left his genetic imprint in the world.

A few realities about growing up in Kenya on why this messes up so many young men in the disciplined forces.

Almost half of Kenyans are fatherless. So, one can say, nearly half of the young men who join the military and the police force are fatherless. They lost their fathers to early deaths (the lifespan of a Kenyan male is pretty low), or parents divorced, or the mom never married. And some who had fathers, the fathers, their old men were mostly absent, deadbeat, or ‘weak’ in that, their mother ran the show at home, or their fathers didn’t know how to be fathers in the 21st century.

I speculate that a significant number of men who show up for training, thus, grew up without the presence of a strong male figure. That the first male figures they interact with are the no-nonsense trainers in the bootcamp, and then they are handed over to superiors whom they are never supposed to question for the rest of their lives.

Add to this that most of the guys in uniform, come from poor backgrounds, where often, they are the first in their family to ever get a government job, essentially becoming a breadwinner for their family. The burden of the black tax is completely ignored, and I cry for our soldiers because of the heavy burden they carry, not just for the country, but for their families. We can’t even mention their salaries.

Now, of course the young men in uniform are hot-blooded males, in need of a woman to marry. When they want to marry, what options do they have? Naturally, because they start earning at an early age, after a few years of work, a 25-year-old can meet a 20-year-old from their village, on Facebook, Tinder or wherever, and he can impress upon her by the nature of his work, income, and the future he represents.

Here is another uncomfortable fact that I hope nobody will lynch me for. Most entry levels officers enter the force with low high school grades. I have never had any problem with low grades as long we all end up making a living, one or another.

But now, when looking for a mate to settle with, is where a problem comes in and their blue-pill mindset messes them up completely. Remember at this level, this young man probably due to lack of exposure does not understand female nature, and because his job trains him to be a hero, many a time, many fall for a damsel-in-distress, and they try to rescue the damsel, not knowing that historically, there is nothing more ruinous to a man than trying to get entangled with a damsel-in-distress of any shade. Very few young men know that there are two women to avoid (the Damsel in Distress and a woman who is more ambitious than you-for those with difficulties understanding, hii inamanisha wanaume ndio wajue kiwango Chao, si wanawake kushusha tamaa ya ya makuu).

Like most animals, human beings are assortative maters. Meaning, we like to mate with our kind (be it tribe, class, same education/income class.). Women can mate upwards and succeed. But any time a men mates outside his supposed circle(tribe, income, education, chances of it not working are super high). That is why intertribal marriages remain thorny, marrying a kienyeji can backfire, and marrying a woman more educated than you and you don’t more money than her will never work, and now increasingly so. Don’t use a few exceptions to justify nonsense. Most policemen would do well if they picked a woman at their level. And indeed, many do, and their marriages typically survive without big glitches. Especially those from Nilotic and Cushitic tribes from up North, where their cultures are still intact, even though fast- evolving.

But come down to Bantus below the Equator, and Luos, and increasingly Kalenjins and Houston! We have a big problem.

Anyway, if cops picked women at their level and obeyed the rules of assortative mating, many will succeed. But out of ego, ignorance, and often a genuine desire to marry better and make a family with a woman who can also bring something to the table, some officers often opt to go after college girls. Sometimes they want better educated women as a compensating mechanism in something they lack and beyond the niggling ego problem, I know they mean well.

So, a 26-year-old who has spent his first years of work taking his siblings and nephews to school, decides to settle. He hears there is a girl across the ridge who scored a C or a C+. He approaches her. The girl is sweet and good vibes. He marries her. But she can’t sit at home and so she is restless. A bit. So, guy goes to Equity, takes a loan and decides, she can train to be a teacher so that ‘our children can have a bright future’. Remember, men are the true romantics and likely to imagine stuff like that.

But for a good number of wimen in colleges, their hypergamy kicks in at 100 percent. It is not their fault, need I say? And in their 20s, they will game their mating options, until they pick what they think is the best (anecdotal evidence tells us, they are wrong most of the time, huwa wanajicheza, but that is not the story here). And if the such a woman is Bantus and typically Luos (for Nilotes), it gets doubly worse, son.

But nobody teaches about hypergamy at Kiganjo or Lanet, or wherever they train young men how to shoot the bad guys. Add the fact that their training realigns their brains to think in a certain way(no questioning), which is understandable part of police training across the world.

Now, take such a man. He never had male mentors, he is overwhelmed by the black tax, and he just wanted to marry to protect himself and build his family. But now, he has been played dirty. Do you think an Imam, or a Pastor can rescue him?

A pastor doesn’t know what hypergamy is. Neither does an Imam. I don’t know if the Koran and Muslim culture can keep up with the modern masculinity challenges, but I know the church and its present interpretation of the bible won’t teach men about the reality of many things in life, least of all, modern female nature.

No pastor is ready to tell young men that hypergamy doesn’t care. You can take her to school up to Ph.D level, and she can leave. No pastor will tell young men that among some educated women, bad behaviour by wimen is celebrated and the young man’s ignorance or naivete is no excuse.

An average college-going guman, is most likely a handful for an average police officer, who doesn’t even know what Netflix is, doesn’t know the theories being peddled by the media and the internet, and Hollywood.

Do they need help? Yes, they do. Do they need counselling? Certainly. But not by proselytizing pastors and Imams, using outdated advice that women lately find laughable, and unthinkable.

What those boys need in Kiganjo is a customized version of the Kenyan red pill, to prep them for the socio-economic challenges they are will deal with.

With the red-pill, no police officer will have to kill a woman or himself in some messy love-triangle, because the red-pill acknowledges that women are equal opportunity cheaters. No army officer will see his half-a-million loan paid for a chick in med-school go down the drain, because she eloped with her type. And there is no recourse for the man, because to online solipisism, the human never asked the army officer to educate her. No police officer will be too burdened by the black tax.

Because the redpill, is the missing father and good uncle they never had growing up, who will tell them the sobering truth. It is only after consuming the right dosage of the red pill can they turn to the bible and the Koran and get the right masculinity lessons. Not the watered-down, cowardly versions favoured by pastors today.

This Memo comes from a good place in my heart. No offence intended to the good and honourable men in uniform, I don’t doubt the commitment of the Ministry of Interior to better the lives of the police. They just need to update those sermons, and tell the young men, the cold, unflinching truths, in a language that they can understand.

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summary please for KTALK birrionaires


@jimit kipii kivese

This should be forwarded to the commandant of Kiganjo police college and included in the training units content


Not this shieeeeeeeeet again

Hii story tunaijua sana. Next.

Kwani your greatest fear in life ni kuachwa na dame ama wife yako? That’s a juvenile problem. Women are replaceable.


Why men are afraid of women rejecting them is beyond me. If she leaves, that’s her problem; if she stays, sawa. Wasiwasi elders huwa nayo saa zingine…


Soma the whole article mkubwa… most police according to the writer come from poor backgrounds. Wewe umetoka family ya dynasty so prime female mates were abundant around you.

Huwezi elewa the reasoning ya hawa wasee if you don’t understand msee anapata regular salo from the first time and anatoka kwa poor family


That does not mean those from poor backgrounds lack access to women, kwanza ma ocha na kwa slums wananyanduana vi serious. Unashikia dem mshikaki majioni na chipo za karae ana ku rank anakupea majority shareholder

My opinion, they should be given advice by someone like andrew kibe ama waingie youtube waskize what he is saying, very funny guy but he speaks sense you can listen carefully and change your mindset but you have to chuja every bit of info.

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The level of of investment is the problem and then they see another man hitting it for free that unleashes the worst of inner demons

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Most ladies who are pampered by men in uniforms, have that one guy who doesn’t even text good morning or give her any pampering anatandika hio kitu kama ghaseeer