Who are your wife’s female friends?
One thing that will determine the success of your marriage is what company she keeps. It is a black spot commonly overlooked by men, until when it is too late and there is nothing they can do about it.
The biggest lie sold to men my generation, and I am glad, more and more men are unlearning was this: get yourself an educated, working class woman, you will help each other with bills, be transparent, be a good father, and you will succeed. This is a proven formula of failure and most men I know who tried this, are now divorced and on a red pill prescription, three pills a day. Women hate such men too.
Listen guys. Marriage is not a democratic institution. Any time a woman says, “my hubby is an understanding man”, I can predict with precision how soon the man will be divorced, with 97.9 accuracy. Women only like an understanding man to use and manipulate until she doesn’t need you anymore and she will dump you and move on like you were a mere pimple on her face that she crushed and healed from.
One of the ways men try to be understanding is to be kind and understanding to give their wife enough latitude to also pursue her dreams, ambitions and pleasures. A wife is an adult, with her own mind, and deserves every latitude to also have a life outside marriage.
However, like everything in life, too much latitude with no caveat can be costly. Let us talk about her friends.
An average educated woman with a job in Nairobi or in any of our major cities will have her friends from college, colleagues and a dozen others made from chamas and other associations. Some of these associations can be productive and useful for her growth. However, if she ends up with women, whose lives are not pro-marriage, soon you will be seeing certain habits that are not good for marriage.
The number of women who are disinclined to marriage is on the rise. Rather unfortunately, most women treat marriage as something to tick off their list, before they embark on their life on the fast lane. Poor son, who ends with a woman who just wanted a man to tick off marriage her list, and while at it, rob a sperm for a child. It happens.
In a typical group of women in their 30s, say like 8 girls, there are likely to be divorced women, single mothers, married-but-available, married-but-living-apart, and those still married, but increasingly under pressure to seek the pleasure and the freedom of their single friends.
There are women who have let themselves go completely. For the first time in my life, I am meeting women who are functional alcoholics. As in walevi like our fathers. Whereas, it is their lives, and I have no right whatsoever to comment on their choices, it is within my right to comment on how, if your wife ends up in such company, you may want to talk to a divorce lawyer.
Women influence each other in a funny way.
First of all, women are extremely competitive. If her friend Eve had a great baby shower, she wants to outdo her in the next one. If her friend Judith had a grand wedding, your girlfriend may want an even grander one. If her friend Jane bought a Mercedes, you may hear funny comments from your wife. And that is where if your woman has no sense of direction, no life philosophy, she can easily get carried away.
Secondly, there is another growing number of women that are pure pleasure seekers. It is within their rights; unbridled pleasure is antithetical to marriage. And if your wife ends with girls who just want to party, this month they are in Naivasha, next it is Mombasa, next Malindi, next it is Lamu, you are in trouble. You may want to live in Denial, but some of us are informed on what goes down in these outings.
Any time a woman calls you insecure, trust me she is gaslighting you like nonsense. God gave you your guts to guide you. 99 percent of all our suspicions turn true, soon or later.
The sad thing is not what she does in these outings. The sad thing is that once that lifestyle gets into her system, she will not need a marriage that chains her and she has to wrestle the guilt every time she has a good time with the lover of her life who is not you.
Here is where it gets interesting. First, she will start heaping unnecessary pressure on you, to sustain her lifestyle. If she can afford it on her own, it means you have to shoulder all the family responsibilities because, “it is a man’s job’. Secondly, you can’t match the amount pleasure they seek out here. Unless you become superhuman. But soon, she loses interest in you and she will start treating like trush and this is why it is important to monitor her friends, who they are, what they believe in, and watch their actions.
Give your wife all the freedom she wants, but only if she pursues things that are in line with your marital goals. Because marriage is a conservative institution. Go about marriage in an academic or political way, and you will be like a graduate with good papers but with no job.
Women hate men they can easily sway and influence. Stamp your authority, learn to say NO to some BS, and if she proves a bit headstrong, drop her and give her all the freedom to pursue her goals and dreams. It doesn’t matter if there are kids in the picture or not. Because if you don’t, she will dump you anyway and you will be the fool. And you will lose more.
For those not yet married, study the woman you are marrying and the company she keeps. For those newly married, nip any unbecoming behaviour right on the bud. For those it is too late, to make any changes, find a way to get out of such an arrangement. A woman can only choose either marriage or freedom to go wilding. The two cannot be mixed.
Women can’t take less from a man, so, our generation of men have no reason whatsoever to take any less from women, especially within a marriage set up. Cut that liberal bullcrap. She will deal with you ruthlessly, call you weak for being kind, call you unromantic because you can’t match her side dish boyfriend and when divorcing she will sweep everything.
[MEDIA=facebook]snyanchwani/posts/10219259686830971[/MEDIA]