Yeah yeah yeah, dowry threads zimekuwa mingi sana, I know. But this had to be shared, iko na ukweli mingi.
For akanyal clit brigade Summary: Jamaa explains and rants why the modern woman should not be paid for dowry, she aint worth a cent.
I am going to stress this point as much as I can. Modern day Kenyan women don’t deserve dowry. In fact, modern day Kenyan women don’t even deserve weddings. For any woman born after 1980, you should offer her nothing more than a ‘come we stay’ arrangement. Your love, presence, occasional money for salon and support for kids is enough. No other expectations should be placed upon you. Paying dowry for a modern day Kenyan woman is as bad a move as buying shares at Kenya Airways right now. You are just going to leave your parents poor for a worthless course.
Paying dowry is also like buying goods at a muindi’s shop. In both situations, it’s made clear to you that goods once sold are not refundable. In the case of a muindi’s goods, that is understandable but in the case of Kenyan women, it’s not. If we are going to insist on this dowry thing, then the women should at least come with receipts and a ten year warranty. If the woman malfunctions during that period, you have the right to return her to her parents and get an exchange (probably her sister) or a refund.
The question is, why don’t modern day Kenyan women deserve dowry? In the age of our mothers. women would mostly get married to their first love. 95 % of women would get married when they were virgins and even those were weren’t virgins got married to men who had deflowered them and impregnated them in the first place. When you paid dowry for a woman, you were pretty sure that you were the only man who had slept with her and also the only man who was going to sleep with her her for the rest of her life. But nowadays, thanks to a messed up society and social media, women have a buffet of penises to choose from even before they get married. By the time you marry a woman, her vagina has already snapped past the elastic limit.
Modern day Kenyan women want to have their cake and eat it too. They want all the benefits of ‘prostitution’ and reckless lifestyles without any of the costs. They want to turn themselves into a sexual commodity and then later down the road, snag the commitment of a hard-working faithful husband (and probably keep him clueless about her past).
Modern day Kenyan women are plagued by delusion and entitlement. Delusion in that they feel their existence as an attractive female should be enough to earn them a good man and a wonderful life despite the fact that they can’t cook,clean or engage in an intellectual conversation. Entitlement that men should play by their rules and treat them like princesses in spite of their numerous shortcomings.
Unlike our mothers, and those before them, these girls are unable to sustain a marriage. They choose fornication over procreation. They value career accomplishments over building a good home and raising a disciplined family. Our mothers persevered men who used to say “come here woman!!!” Men who made great fathers. But women nowadays will leave you for allowing one drop of your urine to land on top of the toilet seat after she had cleaned it.
Before the west created the idea of marriage as an emotionally-driven commitment, marriage in Africa was a simple economic transaction. A man exchanged his financial provisioning and physical protection for a female’s chastity and guaranteed paternity of his children. Unfortunately, things don;t work like that anymore. In modern African culture, however, marriage has become a sham of misaligned values and perverse incentives. Legal precedent and the feminist court of public opinion have conspired to deprive married men of all power, encouraging women to extract maximum value from them without providing anything valuable in return.
Right now marriage for men is simply an act of giving without receiving. A woman who is on the same social status or you or even higher, expects you to do all the providing. And on top of that, also be good in bed. What does she give in return? Nothing. Cooking is done by the mboch, clothes are washed by ‘mama wa kuosha nguo’ and children are handed over to daycare centers when they are two years old. Apart from their day jobs, wives basically idle around, go to chamas and watch soaps. See how the equation is highly skewed in women’s favor? We need to balance it and in order to do that, we have to withdraw some things, most importantly dowry.
Ask yourself. Why are women now the eager instigators of divorce and separation? What changed in the culture? Three things: hordes of thirsty and able men that will do anything to steal your wife, women’s economic independence, and rigged laws that make divorce a good financial prospect for women. The three sirens of the sexual apocalypse together have created the perfect sociological storm where a woman has every incentive in the world to ditch a husband to follow the whims of her heart once his usefulness has been exhausted.
Dear fellow men, understand that dowry is an investment. And for every investment, you should get a return. It’s what business people call return on investment (ROI). Unfortunately, the ROI for most of these modern day girls is zero or negative. Why pay dowry for a woman who is just a divorce-via-infidelity-and-boredom waiting to happen. The only return you derive from your investment on her is getting an official mate. And even by mating with these women, you cant be sure your offspring will turn out normal and healthy given the amounts of drugs and P2 pills the mother has consumed in her lifetime. It’s all one huge risk.
The thing is, as a man, you have to marry but you don’t necessarily need to pay dowry for these shisha smoking, moshene loving, Guarana guzzling smart phone addicts. It doesn’t matter how fat the buttocks are or how juicy the breasts appear. You don’t need to pay dowry for these girls that post twenty pictures a day on Facebook and Instagram and feed off the comments and likes. It’s as if the Instagram likes are laced with nutrition or a vaccine for the possible lung cancer they might get in their fifties.
In conclusion, not all modern day women are trash. There are exceptional females that are worthy of dowry but you have to know that the woman you are dealing with is one for sure. In my own opinion, dowry is sensible only if the following scenario applies: you have known her for at least several years, and have investigated all aspects of her character. She has seen you at your worst but still stuck to you.
Apart from this scenario, certain other baseline conditions must be met. You should both be mature. You should sincerely and truly be in love, and I mean the kind of love that would give teeth to the “till death do us part” phrase and make Romeo and Juliet look like jokers.
You should also have enough experience to know the warning signs of bad women that you should be wary of. Some examples of these are: too many male friends, love of the party life, any hint of disdain for traditional feminine roles (e.g., cooking, cleaning, child-rearing), excessive criticism of you in any way, carelessness with money, and over-focus on career. This list is not exhaustive. Any flaw a woman has becomes magnified over time. A small problem now will become a big one later. You must test her and carefully observe her behavior when evaluating her character. Do not rationalize, excuse, or sugar-coat bad behavior. You must be utterly ruthless and clear-headed when evaluating her character.
Remember the following timeless counsel: “Let [the wise man] not consider himself to be alone without a wife. Every man needs a wife, but not just any wife .A man needs a good wife, for even solitude is better than evil company.”
Good luck fellas