Another day to praise the Lord! Mothers have alot of pain in their lives.
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Was at a client’s house, I saw this stuff while cooking…hii niyakuwekelea hot towels ..my appetite got lost,my mood changed ..she even noticed..but I couldn’t figure out why exactly my body reacted that way..then vile nimemaliza kupika,I sat down..I remembered this tray used in hospitals is where my son’s lifeless body was put..and all the memories came back it’s been 7yrs boy! 7 haard yrs of trying to let go of that boy..I saw him lying here so white ..his fists holding so tight, like he was holding on to something…his eyes closed. He didn’t even open them to see me:sob: he didn’t let me tell him It wasn’t me but daddy. It was daddy that hit mummy so hard.then mummy failed him by lying that she fell in the bathroom…because mummy didn’t want daddy in jail and grandma’s friend said I’d get other children…but daddy went and said that I tried to abort you because you weren’t his baby ..son why would I wait for 7 months to get rid of you?
Daddy and I wanted you so badly, so I thought…
Daddy would take me to a gynaecologist before you were conceived and then go tell grandma that I’m using fp that’s why I’m not getting pregnant…same man who was buying supplements, paying ultrasound and gyna services nwei son,I’m sorry for letting you down, I’m sorry for failing you I hope you’re looking down on mama and smiling. She hasn’t stopped loving you, she hasn’t let go yet..because so many years later,reminders of you are everywhere…they said “huyo hakua wako” I asked alikua wa nani? They say I should let you go because I got another child…I tell them that wasn’t your replacement .I’m sorry I never wished you a happy 7th birthday in heaven last month..I thought I’d forget you..but child loss is a permanent pain and scar that will never go away .Rest easy boy..mama loves you still. #childloss#pain#memories
Very sad story. The man is a monster, he’s no ‘Daddy’. She was afraid of protecting herself, by not leaving before he hit her in the belly, and she was obviously very confused. Costly mistake, very, very costly. I don’t blame women who leave violent men, they should. But of course it’s easy to be wise after the event.
Reading this is like unraveling a nightmare taking place in real time inside someone’s mind. 7 years is a long time to live in constant low-key grief, taking advice from friends who don’t understand. She needs to seek healing asap.
It was her mistake? This patriarchy though! Someone can punch you in the stomach with no prior warning! Plus with the brainwashing women get in a patriarchal society leaving when pregnant is a cardinal sin. The real mistake is that men are not jailed for killing their own children but if a woman aborts a child she’s going to jail for murder! The mistake is ALWAYS hers! Atrocious!
Usidanganywe ati that was the first time, and that he hit her without warning.
You don’t want to tell me you can be living with someone long enough to get children with him when you don’t know he has a temper. Some women even go ahead to marry men who were beating them as girlfriends, and that’s telling. Call it what you will, but if someone is so brutal as to hit his wife in the belly when she’s pg (not that he should hit her anywhere any time at all) that’s a monster who is already used to beating her. And yes, the patriarchy talk aside, it’s a deadly mistake not to leave when you still can. From what she says, he claimed the child wasn’t his. This is such a serious statement you cannot gloss over, coz it means they had most likely argued over the pregnancy
(daddy went and said that I tried to abort you because you weren’t his baby)…
And he either
Suspected she was unfaithful absurd as that may seem, or
He wanted a pretext to kill the baby still in the womb, and pretend she miscarried–si hivyo ndivyo alisema!?
All that evidence is there if you set aside emotion and analyse the story.
nwei son,I’m sorry for letting you down, I’m sorry for failing you 
I hope you’re looking down on mama and smiling. She hasn’t stopped loving you, she hasn’t let go yet..because so many years later,reminders of you are everywhere…they said “huyo hakua wako” I asked alikua wa nani? They say I should let you go because I got another child…I tell them that wasn’t your replacement .I’m sorry I never wished you a happy 7th birthday in heaven last month..I thought I’d forget you..but child loss is a permanent pain and scar that will never go away 
.Rest easy boy..mama loves you still.