Masturbation - dos and don'ts

chief_lieutenant · March 21, 2018, 7:20pm

o

once you go elianto you will never look back

Mworia_Wameru · March 21, 2018, 7:21pm

Tranny porn, really. Fucking tranny porn! What’s fucking wrong with good old heterosexual humping between a straight man and a woman? Oh ye of the LGBT community that’s tainting our conservative African culture. Is there a damn pit where we can dump you?

Phylgee · March 21, 2018, 7:41pm

Utakutiliwo :D:D:D

GoodVibes · March 21, 2018, 8:03pm

:D:D

GoodVibes · March 21, 2018, 8:04pm

Guys guys…sorry…meat beaters. Beat your meat slowly.:D:D…you might want to try super glue or kiwi

King_aui · March 21, 2018, 8:17pm

:D:D:D:Dhii ni high grade ya malawi ama ni shash?

system · March 21, 2018, 8:28pm

Yes. Mworia is funny as ferk! hihihihi…I might actually follow him so that I don’t miss his threads on why, when and how we should ferk each other senselessly and regardless of the situation even when it is flooding deeemn.
Today he posted a cool playlist of his fav rappers on another thread. Please note the noogle:p could not be bothered to post the music videos. Main message was ‘Sponsors waende kutafuta SQs’.

Ferk is his core message to all and sundry:D!!ignore the rest of his rants and gun for the one liner at the bottom, the rest will add up.

SwahiliBoy · March 21, 2018, 8:41pm

I promised you guys that will address good and bad nduthi habits in separate thread. Well, this is the thread:

The dos
[ol]
[li]Masturbate regularly.[/li][li]Always use some lotion to avoid inflammation.[/li][li]Wipe with serviettes, tissue or such, or just bathe after masturbation. Do not wipe with your boxers, grannies or thongs.[/li][li]Masturbation should be done in private and the gf or wifey must not know about the habit.[/li][li]Masturbate only after meals. Masturbation drains you and therefore you should eat well before embarking on it.[/li][/ol]

The don’ts
[ol]
[li]Do not masturbate less than 4 hours before copulation.[/li][li]Do not masturbate in the sitting room.[/li][li]Don’t masturbate to gay porn or that shemale nonsense. In case you need assistance I can recommend good sites to you that don’t require registration and stream quite fast e.g. spankbang.com, porntrex.com, porndig.com[/li][li]Never start masturbating to a porn clip if your Internet connection is unreliable. Let the video load before playing and starting to masturbate otherwise you could experience half baked masturbations[/li][li]Do not masturbate during office hours.[/li][/ol]

My good people as a certified sex therapist I can tell you for free that masturbation is therapeutic. Ladies and gentlemen, if you can’t score some d*ck or conversely some pu**y don’t hesitate to ‘ignite the motorbike’.

I’m outta here as I go ignite one while there’s still time since tonight’s sex starts at 0000hours at the earliest.

5 finger luvin hahahaha

123tokambio · March 21, 2018, 9:27pm

Mworia Iguna na binjwa scrotum hakuna tofauti…

system · March 21, 2018, 9:29pm

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D I disagree. Your Kyuk is out of this world. Ate Iguna??

123tokambio · March 21, 2018, 10:46pm

:D:D:D Kira ki!!

Duke_of_Thika_Road · March 22, 2018, 5:59am

I promised you guys that will address good and bad nduthi habits in separate thread. Well, this is the thread:

The dos
[ol]
[li]Masturbate regularly.[/li][li]Always use some lotion to avoid inflammation.[/li][li]Wipe with serviettes, tissue or such, or just bathe after masturbation. Do not wipe with your boxers, grannies or thongs.[/li][li]Masturbation should be done in private and the gf or wifey must not know about the habit.[/li][li]Masturbate only after meals. Masturbation drains you and therefore you should eat well before embarking on it.[/li][/ol]

The don’ts
[ol]
[li]Do not masturbate less than 4 hours before copulation.[/li][li]Do not masturbate in the sitting room.[/li][li]Don’t masturbate to gay porn or that shemale nonsense. In case you need assistance I can recommend good sites to you that don’t require registration and stream quite fast e.g. spankbang.com, porntrex.com, porndig.com[/li][li]Never start masturbating to a porn clip if your Internet connection is unreliable. Let the video load before playing and starting to masturbate otherwise you could experience half baked masturbations[/li][li]Do not masturbate during office hours.[/li][/ol]

My good people as a certified sex therapist I can tell you for free that masturbation is therapeutic. Ladies and gentlemen, if you can’t score some d*ck or conversely some pu**y don’t hesitate to ‘ignite the motorbike’.

I’m outta here as I go ignite one while there’s still time since tonight’s sex starts at 0000hours at the earliest.

[COLOR=rgb(41, 105, 176)][SIZE=6]Certified fapper [/SIZE]

Shuma_mre_dani · March 22, 2018, 6:19am

Another don’t :
Avoid guiness… Otherwise you wank yourself till you have blisters…

tombayeye · March 22, 2018, 2:29pm

Apart from that gay shit and trannies im culpable for all aforementioned.

Muchozkomachoz · March 22, 2018, 2:55pm

I have learnt thanks

Adeudeu · March 22, 2018, 4:14pm

You might spew on your visitors and their food.

gashwin · March 22, 2018, 4:17pm

he he…classic @Adeudeu !:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

system · March 22, 2018, 8:12pm

:DTa mae mee mutungi.

Subaru · March 23, 2018, 7:50pm

never use lotion…you’ll get infections that you’ll not be able to explain to anyone.

confused_villager · April 6, 2018, 8:55am

Gaayyyy