Nimeona kunanyesha hapo kwa terminal nikakumbuka a certain story.
A few months ago I was travelling abroad. I had a busy week doing last minute preparation alafu nikasahau kupiga shave. I was going for a conference where I was to give a presentation so I had to shed the ‘working from home consultant’ look. I have low-key beard which I tend to shave off when such assignments come up. I was also going to link up with an ex who had moved to the city I was travelling to. It had been two years since I last saw her so I needed to at least look presentable juu slices za madame wa kitambo huwa tamu kama sunguch. Kwanza mtu hukula carefree kavu juu ya familiarity…but I digress.
Sasa nimefika JKIA, hata passport sifanani na picha yangu. Passport control hadi ananiangalia Mara mbili. The whole time napiga hesabu ya how I’ll have to look for a barbershop at my destination which is anything from 50$ and most times you have to make an appointment, which I didn’t have time for. I just wanted a walk-in, get a trim and I’m out.
As I was headed to the gate nikaona dame fulani in uniform akiwa amesimama at a booth advertising some services. Kuna vile alikuwa anaikalia kunguru za downtown. Nikampita, paying her no mind, juu I’d heard her mention massage and thought, my trip had just began why would I need one. I got to my gate but didn’t go past security because it hit me hiyo place ya massage wanaweza kuwa na kinyozi. So I went back downstairs (kwa wale wameenda na ndege you have an idea of this areas of the airport).
Kuuliza, shave ilikuwa something astronomical like 30$ nikasema inabidi, sina choice. The lady directed me to the spot, ilikuwa kichochoro. We used an elevator to some spot with no other Duty Free shop or service. Nikaona place imejaa madame Kama 5, very confused operation juu most wamesimama Tu ovyo. Some of them showing signs of bleaching and giving pishori gang vibes.
I sat on the Barbers chair and the lady kinyozi asked for payment upfront. Personally, I hate female kinyozis. They know Fuck all about a good haircut so I told the chic I’ve never paid in advance for a haircut so it’s either I pay after service or I bounce. I was afraid she’d Fuck up my hair so at least I’ll have some leverage for the price I’m paying. My carryon luggage, which I’d been keeping an eye from the shop mirrors, nikaishika na kuanza kutoka.
Hapo kwa mlango nikapatana na dame mwingine, who I figured was the manager, told me that payment after was okay and I should go back in. At that point I spotted the ‘massage room’ which was at the corner of the shop. Curtains drawn, you couldn’t see through. Just before I sat on the chair again, a muhindi came out of the room. He had the guilty pleasure look on his face and the ladies were throwing each other glances. I’m not one to judge, I have been there many times before but today I needed a haircut. It seemed like the place where all know what is going on but don’t ask, don’t tell.
As the lady started, I could feel her amateur hands gripping my head and see her rubbery arm holding the clippers and knew that this was going to be a rough haircut so I asked her for a #2 all round and beard cut. Keep it simple so that I’m not disappointed.
Few minutes into my shave, a couple walk in, an old black man and a mzungu lady, and ask about the accommodation. They had probably been directed here by the lady at the booth downstairs. JKIA is one of those airports with no quick access to accommodation for long layovers. You have to leave the airport and the closest places such as Crowne Plaza are pricy. The man looks around and asks how the situation for sleeping would be and one girl goes ahead to explain that they have a mattress which they can arrange on the shop floor for the weary travellers. The fee was $100.
I could tell this man had an urgent matter to settle with his catch and it was not going to be on a barbershop floor. He seemed dissatisfied with the value for money and left in a huff with his lady in tow. Everyone in the shop threw glances at each other and I asked myself how the hell is such an operation at the airport.
I got my haircut and asked the lady if I could get a head massage, she said it would be an extra $20.
To be continued