Six weeks without Sex is No Mean Fete Even for a Catholic Nun or a member of the “Opus Dei”; Never mind a Mere Mortal like me.
Si Niko na nyege! …
The worst thing about going through a Dry spell is that you cant even reach your Exes on Whatsapp or even when you call them! Shit!.. I tried phoning my most recent Ex Tanaswa and even she has her phone on Mteja! ( I Know "Blocked" when i hear it! kikikiii..) I had to let her go juu alikuwa ameanza to get abit too Clingy for my liking but i never thought that she would move on so fast!.. Fuck me sideways But i thought that she would be my Booty- Call for Life!... What to Do? I get on my phone and start scrolling down the "contacts" list looking for any woman from my Past that might be available for a "roll in the Hay"... A,B,C,D,E,F, Florence!... I remember her. She was a teacher at my Sons Play School and she had made it obvious she was available everytime i picked my son up! She even used to text me about my son after school hours…How unproffessional? … I text her and say “Hi,how are you? Can i take you out for Dinner tomorrow?”
Keep Scrolling… G,H,I J… Janet! I used to bang her when she was an intern at some place i used to go! She always seemed like she was available juu she would keep playing with her hair Nervously everytime i spoke to her and she was a single mom alone in this country after a nasty divorce back in Jamaica (or so she said).
She had actually asked me out at one stage but i was with my Ex-wife then,so that was a Non-starter but we later hooked up in a one night stand.
I text her anyway…“Hi Janet A Wa-agwan me sistren?!, just thought about you and decided to say hello. Holla back i miss you!”…
Scrolling K,L,M… mhhhh… Mumbi!.. Student at the Local uni. and totally game! She was too young for me and i wasn`t sure if she saw me as a Father Figure when i befriended her,or she saw me as something else. That was like 2 years ago wen she was still new and innocent!..there is only one way to find out What she really thought of me;… (whatsapp) “Hi Mumbi!..How was Kenya? hope you had a good summer holiday and welcome back to cold England. Get in touch i need to speak to you”…
Scrolling N,(Ex-Wifes Cousin)..... I cant get the thought of her Onion Booty out of my Mind and i know they are not talking anymore so there is potential there But Faq Dat!..Maybe Later…
Scrolling… O,P…Patricia… She is my Best Friend`s wife but i know that he got kicked out of the house for being a Bad Dog and she always calls me asking how the husband is…
Faq Dat! This Nigga gave me a few Contracts when i was desperate and we have a project together… I am Not a Cold blooded snake…Chindwe pepo mbaya!!!
Scrolling… Q,R,S … Shiva! My Al-Shababe Ex! It was nice while it lasted,but i was married then… Fuck it!..“Sasa Shiva! Long time!.. uko huku mtaani bado?.. si ni kitambo?! Just thought about you and wanted to sema hello and to tell you that i still remember you. Hope to hear from you soon”…
Scrolling… T,U,V,W!!!
WIFE!!! (thats the ex-wifes number im now on!)
This is what it has come Down to!..
We are speaking again since last week lakini its still very Frosty…
Research shows that she has not moved on and so she obviously hasnt had Cock since Me!... Prospects look good the more i think about it,, and my cock seems to agree.... its getting Harder and Harder the more i think about her!... I mean i saw her Juzi and she actually looked hotter than ever!... She looks younger and fresher and she is even wearing make-up now! - Something she never did when i was with her!... mhhhhhh..... i cant let some other dude shag my ex-wife simply because she is Horny and Lonely so mimi huyo… (whatsapp)
“Hi. How are you and the kids?. Thanks so much for looking after my children and i want you to know that no matter what happens,i will always Respect you for being the best mother in the World. I was wondering if you want to come for lunch at my place tomorrow. You need to know where the father of your kids live and to be totally honest…,i miss your company and i would be happy if you could make it tomorrow and we can chill while the kids are at school. Or i could come over myself if you want?.. Tell the kids i love them and i will hopefu;;y see you tomorrow…”
I haven`t Recieved any Replies But:
Hapo Ndiyo Nyege Zimenifikisha !..