Yep. When you are single you have no one to blame for anything. It rises and falls with you.
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People talk about bitter single mothers, (rarely bitter sex starved spinsters with podcasts masquerading as tellers of truth) but nobody ever stops to wonder about the bitter married people. Let’s talk about that. You see, you’d rather a Jezebel you know than an Uriah’s wife that bathes “innocently” at the very viewpoint of king David, soaping her tits and feigning coyness as she gives him a strip tease with nothing to imagine. Listen, I know David was clever but to think of sending that poor man to battle and have him on the Frontline so he dies can only be the work of a woman. A bitter married woman. A bitter married woman who’d lain in bed next to her husband who entered slaves and came to mount her, with their juices on his weak sword and reeking of misogyny. A woman who had spent nights of insomnia wondering about the best none traceable way to get rid of a body and then boom! A bulb lit on her head.
We don’t want to even address the DJ who filmed his wife drinking poison with their children watching, nonchalantly recording as she gagged, frothing on her mouth till she spread out like a lizard that had been run over by a bus. They don’t have to touch you. Someone can push you to your own death and who is better equipped than the one you lie naked next to? They know your weaknesses and they will poke at them till you run mad. They will turn you crazy!!! People marry sane people and drive them into insanity then lock them up in asylums.
And what is wrong with being a bitter single mother? Tell me! If you were left to fend for yourself and kids by a man who just decided to up and leave, no consequence, while beating his chest that after all every kid needs a father and they will find him when they are grown, wouldn’t you be mad? Wouldn’t you? If you lived in a society where you are constantly blamed, shamed and rejected for choosing to stay and make the best out of a bad situation, saving yourself and your child wouldn’t you be bitter too? When you are refused a voice, blamed for trying to survive and daring to live life alone and happy, wouldn’t you fight back?
I’ll tell you this. This life is crap most of the time. Most people are cowards and would rather have a dead, stagnated life with someone else that ever dares to leave and make something out of themselves. You know why? Because when you are alone, you take responsibility. Of your life, your choices and your happiness. Singlehood means it’s all you. If your life is shitty, you blame no one but yourself. And people lack personal responsibility. It’s better when they have things or people to use as a scapegoat and maybe a punching bag for their frustrations.
You didn’t go back to school because your husband didn’t have the money or refused or made you pregnant. You are unhappy because he won’t act right. You are always crying because he keeps cheating. Or you were a good woman once, he turned you into this lying cheating cougar with a kababaa at kahawa west because if you can’t beat them, you join them. She no longer wants to have sex with you. So you become promiscuous, use other women’s bodies like sex toys and lose touch with your own humanity! You don’t have anger issues, she is too mouthy and she makes you beat her! God will understand. We all will understand.
You are married, of course you can’t be bitter. It’s the single people who claim to have chosen their own peace and refused to be changed by people, those that read people like Betty Kilonzo, daring to be human and not think of themselves as half a person in need of another in order to find fulfillment that are bitter. Women who don’t know how to look down when a man is talking. Men who can’t keep a woman. Single girls who ride your bitter husbands and live lavishly off the money he refuses to give you while you sit at home, hating him and saying “as long as he comes home to me.” You are winning. You really are winning.