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Tecra dating Omar Lali was our worst moment as a family
Tecra Muigai’s family has spoken for the first time about her love affair with Omar Lali. The family gave an account of their tumultuous love affair in the first episode of John Allan Namu’s The Last Door documentary.

In 2017, Tecra moved to Venice, Italy for two years to set up a coffee trading business and her high school best friend Max Richiedei visited her to help her set it up but it didn’t go well. In 2019 she returned to Kenya to work for the family company Keroche Breweries as the company’s head of strategy and innovation. She asked Max to help but before they started rolling out the project, she wanted to take a holiday, “She told me she needed to take a two-week break to relax and I suggested Lamu but two weeks turned to five weeks,” said Max.

According to her sister Anerlisa, Tecra stayed away from the family for months and on a random Saturday she introduced Lali to the family through WhatsApp, “She stayed away from us for around three to four months when we tried to call her we couldn’t get her even if we sent her a massage. Then one day she sent a picture of a guy in the family WhatsApp group and said he is the guy she is with. Everyone was shocked and we started side-chatting each other. She told us his name is Omar Lali.”

As a mother, I told her, ‘stop lying

Her mother Tabitha Karanja, Thought Tecra was joking about the relationship, “I was seated on the couch in the sitting room watching TV. Then I got a WhatsApp notification, Tecra had posted a picture of a man and I asked, ‘what is this?’ She told me, ‘the person that I love.’ As a mother, I told her, ‘stop lying.’ She told me she was not lying she was serious so I tried to call her but she was not picking up. I texted her, ‘I know this is a joke.’ She replied back saying, ‘you know mum you better know it is a serious thing.’ I told her, ‘unless you want to kill me?’ She said, ‘I know you understand love has no boundaries.’ I decided not to share it with her dad ‘the chairman’. I said if somebody sees something like this they will collapse.”

She decided to go and visit her the following Monday, “On Sunday, I told her I was going to church to pray for her because I couldn’t believe it. I thought she was joking with me. I dedicated that mass to her. I told her I will visit her on Monday but she told me not to come to the house. The next day we went and we found the gate locked. The security was protecting her rights and privacy, even when I said I was her parent. The G4S headquarters was the one preventing us from entering.”

Her boyfriend Lali fled into hiding, “Tecra started panicking and I decided to run in the bush and stayed there until 6 pm and later came back home,” said Omar. Tecra later decided to meet her parents at Naivasha Hotel, “She told us she would meet us at a hotel, we went to Naivasha Hotel and she came. She told us she had left him,” added Tabitha.

Massive age difference

The following day Tecra and Omar took a bus back to Lamu. Her best friend and workmate Max was among the first people to meet Omar, “It had not occurred to me, it would have been that different based on other relationships she had before. Obviously, I was taken aback, there was a massive age difference. There was a look that was not typically her type.”

Anerlisa said her sister had always dated smart guys and Lali was the opposite of her type, “Tecra was always dating smart people, guys who were smarter than her. Even when the guy came to meet us we used to tell her, ‘this guy is so smart where did you get him?’ She always used to joke, ‘you know me I’m smart so I have to date someone who is smart.’

Max also noticed the first red flag when he could not reach Tecra, “To me the was already an abnormal codependency that I couldn’t fully understand. What exasperated that is the fact that I couldn’t get time with her because he and his community were taking every slot of time that she had. The red flags began when I realized her communication was completely vanishing. Her own sense of self and willpower had disappeared and she was doing a lot of what he said.” “Someone was controlling her, she had completely changed,” noted Anerlisa.

Worst moment as a family

The family decided to send her sibling to talk to her but she refused to come home, “It was our worst moment as a family. The brothers went to Lamu to plead with her but told us something is wrong. We went to see her and she asked us if we wanted her to introduce us to the person. Of course, we couldn’t say no, the person came and he talked all the time. We decided not to accept the relationship but we were not going to lose our child,” said Tabitha.

The family agreed to tolerate her relationship and she came back to work at Keroche Breweries but shortly after Tecra and Lali jetted to Ethiopia for one month, “We flew to Addis Ababa and stayed for one month, she wanted us to get married at the Haile Selassie Church.” Lali said. Tabitha also confirmed those were Tecra’s plans.

February 2020, Anerlisa planned a get-together with Tecra and her friends and she was surprised when she saw her sister was in bad condition, “We were supposed to have a get-together but I decided to go with my friends and have a party at her place. We organized everything but she suggested that we could have guys from Lamu to come and cook and I told her we can get a caterer. We got there at lunchtime and when she came downstairs she was a totally different person. Omar followed her but I didn’t say hi to him. I told her I wanted to talk to her and we went upstairs. She showed me a mark on her body from a hot iron box

When Anerlisa asked her how her sister was living with Omar, she said, “They are always quarreling. They couldn’t go two days without breaking up then they would make up. Tecra would tell Omar she wants to look for a job for him but he told her he didn’t want to work.”

Final Moments

On her last day In Lamu on April 22, she organized a party for her friends, “She invited her friends to come for a drink. She sent me to buy a box of vodka but I only bought three bottles because I thought it was going to be too much. I was also not feeling well, I had a toothache so I went and bought some antibiotics. She told me to make vodka cocktails we drink but I told her I was on medication. She said, ‘I can’t be with a man who doesn’t drink’ so I drank but not much that night,” added Omar.

That same evening Tecra spoke to her family for the last time, “I sent her a funny video on WhatsApp and she called me and we laughed about it. We talked about life and we prayed on the phone. She said mum was calling when she finishes with her she will call me back.” Anerlisa said.

“She told me she was waiting for the curfew to be lifted then she will come home. She told me to take care of daddy because of his age and the call ended.” Added Tabitha.

According to Omar, he went to sleep early that night and left Tecra drinking, he was woken up in the morning by Tecra’s screams. He called his brother who came and did a fast aid and told him to take her to the hospital. She was later airlifted to Nairobi Hospital the same day and passed nine days later. After her death, the family turned their home office into her memorial wall.

Wewe ushawahi ishi pwani na wajua uwezo wao.
Ile siku Manu Bayaz atakuimbia " ni jeri yo story" then show you around, you will extend your stay there.

@TrumanCapote :

There are certain types of women who fall easy prey to these types of predators …
Certain obvious “Red Flags” are visible when women get into these abusive relationships and the end results are usually fatal for concerned …

It is far better to take action on behalf of the vulnerable person than regret later as you arrange burials … :mad::mad:

It’s called being cruel, so as to be kind. Sometimes people need to be saved from themselves, as you’d do for a child who admires a black mamba, thinking it’s a pet[ATTACH=full]490688[/ATTACH]

Have you attempted to take action on someone who is in love? Be they male or female? You have better chances of getting milk out of a stone.

Damn that photo made my heart skip a beat. Looks ominous but I believe it depicts the beach ancestor Omar Lali perfectly. I believe he bewitched her.

Sometimes as women we can be very naive about people especially in a romantic setup. We think that it is perfectly harmless to have relationships even when we do not intend to marry the chap or have seen clear red flags.

Its kind of like a child who keeps going nearer and nearer to the deep end of the pool playfully yet they can’t swim until they find themselves drowning. It’s an Achilles heel of women including me.

I often find myself reminiscing of how I stayed in toxic relationshits even though I saw red flags from the start. Then I remember all the girls who have ended up being murdered by these toxic men and I am just grateful to God for having my back.

I still have to keep reminding myself that entering a relationship is not a joke and I may tell myself that I can leave at any time once the novelty wears off but the other party may not agree with my right to leave the relationship whenever I want.

I remember being threatened for walking out of a relationship. Being stalked. Name it. This is when it hit me that kuingia ni harusi kutoka Matanga. I realised just how lucky I am to have escaped unscathed. I could have been one of the statistics on TV but God protected me. Glory to His name.

I think the obsession with romance women have is their undoing and listening to their feelings instead of their intuition and their messiah complex of saving irredeemable men.

I thank the Lord every day for His protection bcz I was always the one who left all my relationships and I can tell you that the men didn’t take it in stride. The kind of anger that a woman walking out of a relationship breeds in men is crazy. This is why women are most likely to be killed when they are leaving a relationship or marriage.

When a woman dates a man or marries him, he begins to see her as his property. The thought of losing that property makes many men homicidal.I remember meeting my exe who was waiting for his wife at a parking lot, he pretended to make small talk but when I told him that I was in a hurry and had to leave, his face changed into a murderous look. More than 15 years later, married with kids he was still mad at me for leaving him. That is how far men’s territorial behaviour spans.

You must be extra careful as a woman when you decide to leave. Otherwise you will end up dead just for leaving a relationship that no longer serves you. I have never seen any man who took my exit well. They take it as an affront and get extremely angry. I don’t know why bcz personally I can’t imagine staying with a man who no longer wants anything to do with me. It’s like forcing someone to stay with you and they no longer want to be with you. If the relationship is no longer working for one party its better to let them go than making each other miserable.

Hehe, I got the photo somewhere online. It’s obviously manipulated, but the beast is bad news anyway.
I think one mistake women assume is that men want the same things as themselves. When the goals don’t rhyme, yet she still goes ahead to have a relationship, men will feel betrayed and disrespected, yaani kubebwa ufala. Sometimes all a man wants is to shoot a load. Gross and vile, objectifying women or using them for sex etc., you’ll charge. But the truth is the truth, just that some people lack the fortitude to look it in the eye and accept it. When it ends, there will be many reasons why one may feel used, but those reasons wouldn’t exist it was clear why you were starting in the first place. One reason is people play with emotions, thinking they’ll be in control, but once you get involved with a person that’s when you really start knowing your hidden self, that maybe it’s possible to love someone, and maybe he’s not bad, as you thought…
Kama mtu huna haja naye, don’t get close, or keep on acting like you both don’t know what you are upto. That’s like a high school thing, where you don’t know if you’re in a relationship or just fooling around. Make it clear you don’t want a relationship, and act like it, coz there are guys who don’t like being told it’s over. Don’t get it On in the first place.

We had a cousin just out of University who was smitten by an older man at her work place …

Within 6 months She was rushing to marry him and soo had a baby boy …
Turns out he was a serial abuser and had another wife with 2 children banished at his rural home …

One night she turns up at my Sisters place blue and black with bruises and torn clothes …
So her father ( …my uncle … ) , brother and myself pay him a visit in his office the next day …

2 months later , the same thing happens again but she insists she provoked him and it was all her fault ( … ??? …)

This time we got tough on her …
We told her to make the choice of being a life long punching bag or do the right thing , pack up her stuff and find a new life for herself …
A year down the line she is safe in her own home and happily navigating the life of a single mother …

Sometimes , negative experiences are the wake up call that some people need to wake up from imagined safe zones …
Thats life sometimes …

I wish it was that clear cut. Sometimes I actually think that the man who uses and dumps the woman is better than the one who becomes obsessed with controlling her bcz he’s benefitting something. He does not want to lose her bcz of the benefits. Like Lali had several relatives employed by Tecra, traveling around the world and buying him a speed boat prolly loaned him alot of money too.

Sometimes you get close bcz you actually like the guy but sooner than later you find out that he’s not what you thought and you no longer want him. By then he is already entitled to the benefits and you are also used to him and may overlook his faults bcz you actually like him/love him and enjoy his company. You bargain with yourself and say at least he’s not faking who he is to get you or keep you. He’s honest meaning that in spite of his flaws he loves you. Enough to be open and honest about his flaws. Matters of the heart can be very complex. Irrational and completely senseless.

The problem is that being with a man to the man means that you belong to him. So if you leave him you are breeching an unwritten contract to be owned by him. Men are very territorial and they are entitled. So unless you want to die, give a man a reason to think that you are his then turn around and leave.

Women assume that men take break ups like they do. If you break up with a woman she will cry to all her friends and eat ice-cream for a week or two and she will be well on her way to moving on. I used to think that men move on faster but they don’t, once they have a certain privilege by virtue of a relationship they don’t take kindly to losing it even if its their fault.

Matters of the heart are extremely complicated. Even with my wide array of life experiences I can’t say that I am above all the drama that romantic relationships bring.

You have no one to bewitch you REJECT

Ahaaa … !!! :D:D

Snobbish rich matapakas. Assuming Omar is not smart. He is not “her type”. They were all shocked. Schubit!. If it was a rich mzungu older than her they would have embraced him


A partner who wants to go but feels they can’t leave is often perpetually irritable.

They get angry easily, aren’t interested in sex, and offer little emotional intimacy or affection.

It’s difficult to talk things over with them because they just don’t seem to care.

They live their own life, avoid doing things together, and are frequently out of the house or away from home.

You feel neglected, and they forget anniversaries and special occasions.

There’s a way to be brilliant
A way to be a fool
A way to get to heaven
Observe the golden rule
A way to get a sweetheart
A way to get a wife
But the day you quit me, brother, that’s the day you lose your life

Searing words; whose?

Hahaha. I know what you would love

Hehe, no you don’t. Lakini ni sawa tu; I know the lyrics resonate with your thoughts

Do you like music from that era? Drop some here.

This music is older than what I got exposed to, so I didn’t get a chance to develop the taste for that era. I think I only know Elvis Presley.