Mapasta muheshimu ndoa


Lazima pastor arudishie mwili shukrani

Both man and woman are at fault.

Tithe ni ya nini?

Mimi the Pastors I have met here have left a v bad taste in my mouth. I was ready to try out their churches back in the day as that is where most Kenyans were meeting. But each time my sista and I rolled up the Pastor would come and meet and greet take your number and in the week, he calls us…the calls become more sinister as the convo starts sounding creepy. By the time we decided to stick to our catholic church hakuna mtu alikua ametwambia…

Just about a year ago I went to a mashakaya which was held in a big hall. After the maombi the Pastor made his way to where I was sat and introduced himself. So a bit of a chit chat goes on. He then invited me to his church which I promptly declined. Told him I am a catholic and happy where I am. Do you know the nigga told me that he would like to take me for dinner and sell his faith to me…this is despite seeing quite obv that I am married…I said I can come along with my husband. He said 'no don’t come with your husband’. I asked why not? he looked a bit flustered…and stammered for answers. I then said one of my mama friends attends your church… can I come with her? I told him her name…the man was wishing the ground would open and swallow him whole…

Trust me to vuvuzela that convo to my mama friend. Alishtuka. I said the man ambushed me so how do you guys manage? does he not hit on you? she said that is how men are…nikajijazia kuna kitu…
FF mimi kwenda mashakaya kwa this same mama friend just before lockdown I came face to face with the nignog pastor this time with my hubby and jitotos. He was so uncomfortable …

He left after a short while hahahahahahahahaha wacha nikae kwa Fr Michael.

These pastor’s are the real team mafisi wachana na these ktalk ones. Eish. I avoid even sitting in front. But there are genuine ones. Ogopa pastors. Kwanzaa the Nigerian ones are fire. They will tafuna all the kondoo in their church. Using juju.

Unataka pastor akununue mapoko na tithe? Furthermore, the woman was obviously the consumer of this church’s tithe. She paid hers in kind
On your other point, I know a married woman who puts her Nigerian pastor’s photos as her profile pics. Most weekends and some weekdays she spends in church. The hubby rarely goes to church na pia mapato yake no kidogo

Church za Naija ni mambo byad. Even me siezi jaribu ile juju iko huko before you know it utatoa utoe adi kidney.

Ogopa kabSAAAAAAAAAA. Kwanza there is one who used to call young gurls …tuiretu twa Jesu ukai haha…and we would foolishly go. I have not met a genuine one, I only see these fisis at mashakaya. Wacha niende mass…we see a sea of grey hair…one hour we are done. Tunasalimia Fr Michael on our way out after mass hapo kwa entrance/exit and there is no more shuguli other than when we need their recommendation to get kids into catholic schools which are sought after like gold dust. Because you need his report.

I love my faith. Kunyemelewa na fisi issanono…

Lakini even catho priests are fisis. Ni vile tuu mutaratara inawafunga but they have kids and relationships na Adu a diocese. Wanaume ni wale wale. There’s a hot guy I used to work with who was a priest. Si alikuwa tall, dark and handsome. So aliamua just to marry, women were throwing themselves at him. I was wondering how he was surviving as a priest. Lakini Naija pastor’s si wamechafua kuchafua this Nairobi. Kuna mwingine I had taken my friend to see, jamaa asked her for my number, ananipigia ten ati si I come anoint your house. I am like is it really the house you want to anoint? Ama you want to anoint something else? No I was feeling naughty. Wacha jamaa astuke. I blocked him. Mshenzi sana. Wea are these people’s wives when they are calling you at 10 or 11 pm?

Kwa nini mnachafulia watumishi wa Mungu jina? Don’t you know that it’s a sin to talk ill of the servants of God? Only God should judge them.