Majority Of Married Men Ni Betachieth.

Let me preface this by reminding elders, I’m a happily married man.

However, facts remain true that our demographic represents the bulk of betachieth in the male population. Let me explain why.

Check out the recent cases of homicides, all involving men. I think it boils down to married men not attaching any value to themselves, and pegging their life’s worth to the marriage. Bibi akikutoka, unafeel kama life has lost its meaning.

Alafu society has imposed unreasonable “morals” on us, telling us to shun extramarital relations and embrace monogamy, which leads to married men suffer from chronic oneitis. Hata kukatia skills hujawahi polish for decades. Ndio maana ukiskia mama amepea kipii kama digi, unaskia kukufa tuu.

Then hii upuzi ya ‘sacrificing for the family’, hadi huezi jinunulia kiatu ndio umepeleke watoi private school. Upuuus. Fast forward 30 years uko subcounty with a faded Jubilee/NASA tshirt looking after your single malnourished zebu cow, while educated nigglets wanakula raha na mama yao.

Married men, we should have a Renaissance, nugu hizi.

Umedinya points mkuu!
The most important being “…it boils down to married men not attaching any value to themselves, and pegging their life’s worth to the marriage.”

Naona my gospel has started spreading. Married men need to get enlightened.

No cohabitation, No marriage, No LTR. Free agent lifestyle :cool: we rock and roll to the next one

Please also give credit to Bishop JJ.

1kid is enough, unless you make alot by working few hours a week

Saa zingine mambo huaribika mara moja. Tried one they came twins. Nilikuwa najiuliza hizo expenses bana. But marriage no.


Very oddly specific… But it’s eerily accurate.

But I blame it on socialization.

Men have few role models who deliberately chose to put themselves first and live their lives on their own terms.

My grandfather had a brother who chose not to get married though. The happiest nigger I have ever seen.

When he retired from the police force, he spent those years just reading newspapers, and magazines na kuzikiza BBC radio.

At the back of his shop used to look like a huge library. Kulikuwa na Newsweek magazines,

The shop was just there just to keep him busy since the building belonged to him anyway.

Wazee wenye walikuwa wanajua kusoma used to frequent his place to discuss politics and current events. Vyenye alikuwa anachambua issues ungedhani he was a former lecturer or something like that.

So you could hardly say that he was a lonely man.

Yeye kazi yake ilikuwa kungojea pesa from his tea farm and the monthly pensions.

Very simple and contented life.

Men should learn from history ndivyo hizi cases za wanaume kusomesha watoto majuu na kupea family upper echelon lifestyles later wanawachwa na two zebu cows rotting in the village na kutupiwa mia mbili kwa Mpesa iishe.

You find men in their sixties and above alone in run down houses after sacrificing their entire lives “for the sake of family”. Ukimuuliza watu wako wapi anakwambia “Nyina wa ng’ania ari Nairobi/Murimo gwi ciana”. Kuna mwingine niliona very old I literally felt pity nikamuachia 3k. Sometimes a neighbor visits anampikia but most days the man suffers alone. That single case huko reserve made me see the world through a totally new lens.


Sure, such cases do exist. But even you need to ask yourselves why the mothers are invited by their children. It’s because they can perform child rearing tasks and domestic chores. Sasa wewe kama mwanaume if your kids never saw you lift a finger to clean dishes, mop the house, cook or play with children how can they invite you to their homes? You might become a burden. It’s good to learn these soft skills ata kama ni ku maintain lawn, kukata nyasi na kupalilia maua that way you negotiate your utility even in your sunset years you are still a huge asset to everyone. Alafu in our culture they say ‘uthoni nduragaragagwo’ so while a mother can be accommodated in her daughter’s marital home, ndume mbili haziwezi ishi nyumba moja. This is an outdated practice, let’s fix it.

Men should learn to be like the Renaissance man…

I am not talking about being Isaac Newton or some shit like that since most of us don’t have that kind of an IQ anyway.

But with your average brain and will power, you can simply be good at many different things and develop without being helpless…

You can envision your life beyond being a family man and see yourself as a project in constant making using your talents and expertise.

Besides, like with all great men, we and (historians) remember their individual exploits and achievements…Not their wives and their children.

I am not saying that you should not take care of them when you are alive…

But in the context of this discussion, I urge any man reading this to not let family be the hill upon you are willing to die on.

Don’t ever hope that they will be there for you when shit hits the fan, or when you are at your weakest.

Have a back up plan.

You missed the point. The point is that men have no control about how their wives and kids will turn out. Therefore, as they provide for them, they should have an insurance plan (e.g rentals) should the worst happen in old age. Having nothing to fall back on just to funnel every dime to providing the family with a posh lifestyle is foolhardy. Men should learn to balance between personal interests and family interests because history has shown that the two are not always synonymous. Bibi akienda kukaa na watoto majuu, wewe ubaki ukikamua yellow yellows ukikula rent sio kuachwa hohe hahe after sacrificing everything for family. Basically, a man should prepare for the worst (being deserted by wife and kids in old age) because it can happen.

A lot of men don’t have the extra income or privilege of educating their kids and at the same time socking away cash for rentals. Most Africans are fully banking on their children’s educational success as their retirement plan. Hello? They can barely afford public education so who are you talking about, taking their kids to private school and saving a portion of their income, maybe the top 5%? If that? The easiest thing is you men must learn how to live with people. Don’t be this aloof guy who has no personal connection with their kids. You have a lot of say in how your kids turn out, it’s called good parenting.

If men shoulder the largest burden in terms of the resources needed to raise a family, it is natural that they won’t be around the kids often. It is basic common sense. Personal connection will always be there but it will never be the same as that between kids and their mother with whom they spend significantly more time.

Also, that “African mentality” of banking on children as a retirement plan is exactly what has made men suffer in old age.

Ghai!!! This is the worst decision you can make as a family man. Thinking that your child is your retirement plan.
Even as a mother, DON’T rely on your children as your retirement plan.

Mimi hushangaa sana hii African mentality ya wazazi kutegemea watoto kama retirement plan.
They invest everything in their children, and expect their children to build them a retirement house and send them monthly allowance once they become successful.

Always be your own back up plan. Ukikosa kujipanga ati juu unagoja mtoto akuwe succesful huko mbele akusaidie utashangaa sana.

Ole wako kwanza if u married multiple women. You get to old age and realize the women had turned Kids against u.

several years and kids down the line am happily married to my faithful sapere wife .

Bibi anafaa kujua she is not the only option you have. Anafaa kujua unakula lanye pia

Bad news sells. The rate of homicide in kenya is 5 per 100,000. Hiyo ni roughly 2500 Kenyans will be killed per year from a population of 50 million. News na social media always tend to feature the polar aspects of society. Sasa juu mtu mmoja aliua bibi yake cause of cheating you think it’s the norm yet in reality it is an extremely rare occasion that most of us will never see or hear first hand.

Anyway, people are different both men and women. Hizi narratives zenu just sell fear. Some people want a monogamous lifestyle and its perfectly fine. For most couples wenye najua hizi tribulations ndio kwao make the marriage more meaningful. On the other hand, pia kuna wanaume wanapenda kuexplore sexually and that’s perfectly fine. But from my perspective don’t let a good woman go to waste juu ya propaganda. Alafu pia huwa naona MGOTW is a rich man’s game otherwise utakula depression mbaya. For you to be single beyond your 30s and 40s you must have decent wealth to either afford entertaining girls all the time and actually have them interested in you or B get a hobby such as traveling or something.