Maisha

[system]

I recently saw an interesting debate on this platform. Some young man said that you have to be a weak man in order to marry a single mother. There was an older, religious woman who was supporting the man.

It went something like…
“You have to be a beta man in order to take care of an alpha male’s mistakes. And still you have to be weak in order to be manipulated by a woman into marrying her with a baby.”

I laughed. If whimsically. The young man happens to be in 20s, mid-20s when everything is ideal. He still harbours dreams of a great job, a great car, and against all odds, marry maybe a hot virgin who will give birth to kids who understand math.

The woman, maybe is in a happy place in life and she felt she can speak condescendingly about single mothers.

Usually, I am very afraid for folks who see life as black and white. They have no grey areas. These ones, are guaranteed to be hurt the most.

We all have that one friend who believed in perfection. We have that one sister out there who is single because she had unrealistic standards. That one brother who had everything going on for them, until the road turned a bad corner and ahead of them was that monster we call reality. That thing is ugly.

My people say, ‘totianera bogima’, translated loosely that, “Don’t swear for life”, but it means, don’t dictate life. You can be in charge of your life, but know there are other things that you can run into collision like Coronavirus that stops you right on your tracks.

A child or children is not the worst thing that can happen to a woman outside wedlock. Sticking with a jerk(alpha or no alpha) for instance.

Down the line you will meet men who married women with two kids and they are so happy. Down the line you will meet men who married models, and women so beautiful, Kelly Rowland haezi pita mbele yao and he has never known what happiness looks like.

When I was younger, I held these silly ideals too. Blame it on utoto. Now that we are older, we understand, life is permanently imperfect. I ever saw the most beautiful woman but she suffered the worst bout of halitosis. I know men who look like they are 100%, but their closet is ugly.

So pick what you want. But know, if you are a man, and another man is raising your child and you have means, that is not being Alpha. That is stupid. If anything you are the alpha. Even when things don’t work out, your worth is squarely how you take care of the children you help bring forth. Stick around and when older, you can soberly tell your kids, “Look, things didn’t work out. But I am not the arsehole who took off.”

[PERDITION]

If a bitch proves to be a bitch,why should I take care of brats who will be brainwashed that kama si mimi hamnge… No way.u are ignorant young man .this women when you find she is a snake even if she has ten of ur kids run.let the next victim take care of the brood.
How many good men like you have raised others kids like a true African hero,later to be told by the same kids ‘wewe sio baba yetu’?
My dad told me his friend fainted to death when his son ,a son who came with his wife told him ’ wewe sio babangu’,and the man had took loans to educate that bastard in USA.so sad.I learnt that my dad was insinuating that I should never ever marry a single mom.
Well maybe products of single mothers have guts to marry other products of single moms after all birds of same feather fly together

[system]

Free advice. Unless you are into farming, just buy the fruit, and not the whole tree. Yes, what do you need in the woman? Can you get it without the extra baggage? FYI marriage is a dying institution. We have serial divorcees; an official version of pump and dump, albeit very expensive!

[ChifuMbitika]

I have seen numerous men who married single mothers and they are happy todate. Even the kids accepted them despite knowing that the men are not their biological father. But some kids are ungrateful and they got ahead to disrespect the foster fathers.

[deejohnz]

@Massai

I recently saw an interesting debate on this platform. Some young man said that you have to be a weak man in order to marry a single mother. There was an older, religious woman who was supporting the man.

It went something like…
“You have to be a beta man in order to take care of an alpha male’s mistakes. And still you have to be weak in order to be manipulated by a woman into marrying her with a baby.”

I laughed. If whimsically. The young man happens to be in 20s, mid-20s when everything is ideal. He still harbours dreams of a great job, a great car, and against all odds, marry maybe a hot virgin who will give birth to kids who understand math.

The woman, maybe is in a happy place in life and she felt she can speak condescendingly about single mothers.

Usually, I am very afraid for folks who see life as black and white. They have no grey areas. These ones, are guaranteed to be hurt the most.

We all have that one friend who believed in perfection. We have that one sister out there who is single because she had unrealistic standards. That one brother who had everything going on for them, until the road turned a bad corner and ahead of them was that monster we call reality. That thing is ugly.

My people say, ‘totianera bogima’, translated loosely that, “Don’t swear for life”, but it means, don’t dictate life. You can be in charge of your life, but know there are other things that you can run into collision like Coronavirus that stops you right on your tracks.

A child or children is not the worst thing that can happen to a woman outside wedlock. Sticking with a jerk(alpha or no alpha) for instance.

Down the line you will meet men who married women with two kids and they are so happy. Down the line you will meet men who married models, and women so beautiful, Kelly Rowland haezi pita mbele yao and he has never known what happiness looks like.

When I was younger, I held these silly ideals too. Blame it on utoto. Now that we are older, we understand, life is permanently imperfect. I ever saw the most beautiful woman but she suffered the worst bout of halitosis. I know men who look like they are 100%, but their closet is ugly.

So pick what you want. But know, if you are a man, and another man is raising your child and you have means, that is not being Alpha. That is stupid. If anything you are the alpha. Even when things don’t work out, your worth is squarely how you take care of the children you help bring forth. Stick around and when older, you can soberly tell your kids, “Look, things didn’t work out. But I am not the arsehole who took off.”

I agree with you 100%. Life hardly turns out how we want. It’s imperfectly perfect. And yes, we can castigate single mothers all we want, but any man worth his salt who fathered the bastard should provide for the innocent child. If the mother doesn’t want you in it’s life, at least set up a fund that the child can access after its 18+. THAT is being responsible.

[chap]

@Bush hopper

My dad told me his friend fainted to death when his son ,a son who came with his wife told him ’ wewe sio babangu’

Son realized that this is a beta male raising him, sooner or later someone is gonna tell him something mean and anyway he is going to collapse to his death, so let me do it and pull his treacherous life of out misery

[Stew_maker]

Before you rush to make barbaric decisions, ask yourself why she couldn’t put up with the baby daddy. Most people get only one side of the women’s narrative and immediately settle for a conclusion. A lady nurse friend of mine got married to a teacher. Things were okay until the lady got a job in the county hospital. Unfortunately they sired a kid while still they had issue between them.three months later, one morning the guy woke up and disappeared to nowhere. Many people judged him harshly after that incident. The guy later rung me and we met at a certain joint.we took drinks and its then that he produced documents from the hospital. The kids DNA didn’t match with his. He also had photos of his kunguru wife at the hotel, club, mall moving around with the county director of health whom infact linked her with the county job.
Those baby daddys have their own reason why they decided to call it an end.don’t shoulder a baggage that’s not yours.Aliye na maskio askie

[Azor_Ahai]

@deejohnz

I agree with you 100%. Life hardly turns out how we want. It’s imperfectly perfect. And yes, we can castigate single mothers all we want, but any man worth his salt who fathered the bastard should provide for the innocent child. If the mother doesn’t want you in it’s life, at least set up a fund that the child can access after its 18+. THAT is being responsible.

There is a difference between what you want, and what happens on the ground. The reality is that most men will stop providing for their kid if the mother gets married to another man. That is a fact you cannot change. That leaves the guy who marries a single mother as the de facto provider. Marrying a single mother means picking up another guys tab, whether you choose to acknowledge it or bury your head in the sand.

[Azor_Ahai]

@Massai

I recently saw an interesting debate on this platform. Some young man said that you have to be a weak man in order to marry a single mother. There was an older, religious woman who was supporting the man.

It went something like…
“You have to be a beta man in order to take care of an alpha male’s mistakes. And still you have to be weak in order to be manipulated by a woman into marrying her with a baby.”

I laughed. If whimsically. The young man happens to be in 20s, mid-20s when everything is ideal. He still harbours dreams of a great job, a great car, and against all odds, marry maybe a hot virgin who will give birth to kids who understand math.

The woman, maybe is in a happy place in life and she felt she can speak condescendingly about single mothers.

Usually, I am very afraid for folks who see life as black and white. They have no grey areas. These ones, are guaranteed to be hurt the most.

We all have that one friend who believed in perfection. We have that one sister out there who is single because she had unrealistic standards. That one brother who had everything going on for them, until the road turned a bad corner and ahead of them was that monster we call reality. That thing is ugly.

My people say, ‘totianera bogima’, translated loosely that, “Don’t swear for life”, but it means, don’t dictate life. You can be in charge of your life, but know there are other things that you can run into collision like Coronavirus that stops you right on your tracks.

A child or children is not the worst thing that can happen to a woman outside wedlock. Sticking with a jerk(alpha or no alpha) for instance.

Down the line you will meet men who married women with two kids and they are so happy. Down the line you will meet men who married models, and women so beautiful, Kelly Rowland haezi pita mbele yao and he has never known what happiness looks like.

When I was younger, I held these silly ideals too. Blame it on utoto. Now that we are older, we understand, life is permanently imperfect. I ever saw the most beautiful woman but she suffered the worst bout of halitosis. I know men who look like they are 100%, but their closet is ugly.

So pick what you want. But know, if you are a man, and another man is raising your child and you have means, that is not being Alpha. That is stupid. If anything you are the alpha. Even when things don’t work out, your worth is squarely how you take care of the children you help bring forth. Stick around and when older, you can soberly tell your kids, “Look, things didn’t work out. But I am not the arsehole who took off.”

With age comes experience. You probably have the experience from age. With age also comes outdated ideologies. You lived at a time when marrying a single mother made sense. What you do not realize is that times have changed. New paradigms have emerged that have made marrying a single mother similar to having a death wish. It is a no-win situation, especially for the men who don’t have kids of their own. The risks outweigh any potential benefits.

In your era, marrying a single mother made sense. Back then, the woman would actually add value to your life. You would get clean ironed clothes for work, home-cooked food, clean house, etc etc. When it didn’t work out, the union would end and you would go separate ways. Today, the modern woman won’t offer any of those benefits but will expect you to incur all the costs.

Today, you risk losing half your shit and paying child support for kids you did not sire for 18 years. The legal aspect of marriage and cohabitation makes marrying a single mother a very dumb decision from a man’s point of view. But you lived in a different era where there was minimum downside and maximum upside. Welcome to the new world order, mate.

Would you sign a contract where you lose half of your networth, provide spousal support, provide child support for 18 years, whether or not the marriage works out? The contract is enforced by the law and if you fail to meet those contractual obligations, you risk jail. The odds of that marriage working out are extremely slim. The only time the risk is worth it is when the child is actually yours.

My advice to bachelors, get a childless woman or remain a bachelor.

[anon46421834]

@Massai

I recently saw an interesting debate on this platform. Some young man said that you have to be a weak man in order to marry a single mother. There was an older, religious woman who was supporting the man.

It went something like…
“You have to be a beta man in order to take care of an alpha male’s mistakes. And still you have to be weak in order to be manipulated by a woman into marrying her with a baby.”

I laughed. If whimsically. The young man happens to be in 20s, mid-20s when everything is ideal. He still harbours dreams of a great job, a great car, and against all odds, marry maybe a hot virgin who will give birth to kids who understand math.

The woman, maybe is in a happy place in life and she felt she can speak condescendingly about single mothers.

Usually, I am very afraid for folks who see life as black and white. They have no grey areas. These ones, are guaranteed to be hurt the most.

We all have that one friend who believed in perfection. We have that one sister out there who is single because she had unrealistic standards. That one brother who had everything going on for them, until the road turned a bad corner and ahead of them was that monster we call reality. That thing is ugly.

My people say, ‘totianera bogima’, translated loosely that, “Don’t swear for life”, but it means, don’t dictate life. You can be in charge of your life, but know there are other things that you can run into collision like Coronavirus that stops you right on your tracks.

A child or children is not the worst thing that can happen to a woman outside wedlock. Sticking with a jerk(alpha or no alpha) for instance.

Down the line you will meet men who married women with two kids and they are so happy. Down the line you will meet men who married models, and women so beautiful, Kelly Rowland haezi pita mbele yao and he has never known what happiness looks like.

When I was younger, I held these silly ideals too. Blame it on utoto. Now that we are older, we understand, life is permanently imperfect. I ever saw the most beautiful woman but she suffered the worst bout of halitosis. I know men who look like they are 100%, but their closet is ugly.

So pick what you want. But know, if you are a man, and another man is raising your child and you have means, that is not being Alpha. That is stupid. If anything you are the alpha. Even when things don’t work out, your worth is squarely how you take care of the children you help bring forth. Stick around and when older, you can soberly tell your kids, “Look, things didn’t work out. But I am not the arsehole who took off.”

Umedinya point kiongozi.Pewa hand sanitizer mbili kwa bill yangu.May God keep you from Corona virus.

[Simiyu22]

Don’t forget the same guys preaching not to marry single mothers here, each has at least 2 bastard kids out there. They are dead beat dads. In fact it is the reason they continue to preach so.

[Stanmwa]

@Azor Ahai

With age comes experience. You probably have the experience from age. With age also comes outdated ideologies. You lived at a time when marrying a single mother made sense. What you do not realize is that times have changed. New paradigms have emerged that have made marrying a single mother similar to having a death wish. It is a no-win situation, especially for the men who don’t have kids of their own. The risks outweigh any potential benefits.

In your era, marrying a single mother made sense. Back then, the woman would actually add value to your life. You would get clean ironed clothes for work, home-cooked food, clean house, etc etc. When it didn’t work out, the union would end and you would go separate ways. Today, the modern woman won’t offer any of those benefits but will expect you to incur all the costs.

Today, you risk losing half your shit and paying child support for kids you did not sire for 18 years. The legal aspect of marriage and cohabitation makes marrying a single mother a very dumb decision from a man’s point of view. But you lived in a different era where there was minimum downside and maximum upside. Welcome to the new world order, mate.

Would you sign a contract where you lose half of your networth, provide spousal support, provide child support for 18 years, whether or not the marriage works out? The contract is enforced by the law and if you fail to meet those contractual obligations, you risk jail. The odds of that marriage working out are extremely slim. The only time the risk is worth it is when the child is actually yours.

My advice to bachelors, get a childless woman or remain a bachelor.

Best perspective yet. The originator acknowledged that there is nothing perfect. That is good and precisely the reason why you should never marry single mothers. The reason being: you are not perfect.

[PERDITION]

@chap

Son realized that this is a beta male raising him, sooner or later someone is gonna tell him something mean and anyway he is going to collapse to his death, so let me do it and pull his treacherous life of out misery

the man was a good man and he was correcting the already financially stable “son” who saw no need of respecting the old man .never ever raise sons who arent urs.sons are proud of their fathers even if the father is damaged goods,obama came to search his fathers relatives long after the jaluo mwangad ndani na akapotea kisum city yawah and maybe he had a beta provider whom he never cared about

[anon46421834]

@Bush hopper

the man was a good man and he was correcting the already financially stable “son” who saw no need of respecting the old man .never ever raise sons who arent urs.sons are proud of their fathers even if the father is damaged goods,obama came to search his fathers relatives long after the jaluo mwangad ndani na akapotea kisum city yawah and maybe he had a beta provider whom he never cared about

Respect Jaluos you duck billed platypus.

[PERDITION]

@anon46421834

Respect Jaluos you duck billed platypus.

kiongoss were av i disrespected ojinga?

[Stew_maker]

You can maybe think of marrying single mother if you as well have a kid…otherwise utakua pumbavu kabisa, ata iyo mama atakudharau kabisa

[chap]

@Simiyu22

Don’t forget the same guys preaching not to marry single mothers here, each has at least 2 bastard kids out there. They are dead beat dads. In fact it is the reason they continue to preach so.

cc @Azor Ahai

[LuandaMagere]

i can’t raise another man’s kid or adopt any coz such selfless acts will always be taken for granted by the children you helped raise and their single mother …and if you adopt , the kid will use your resources to go searching for their real parents … Nature dictates that you kill the other male’s kids but in humans , we should help from a afar …pea singo mother kazi ukikulanga slices and take care of the opharns without allowing theem into your family …nature is king

[Azor_Ahai]

Once you sign the dotted line, literally or symbolically through cohabitation, you enter a contract with her and the state.

In that contract, you agree to pay her child support (for a child that isn’t yours) for upto 18 years, and possibly alimony for an undefined period, whether the marriage works out or not. You also agree to lose half of any net worth accumulated during your period together.

That contract guarantees her benefits only, not yours. Once you sign it, her bag is secured. She has no incentive whatsoever to work for the marriage. After all, she has a state-enforced contract that you will take care of her and her kid for 18 years, whether she walks out of the door the next day or not.

Why would you foolishly sign such a contract if the kid is not yours?

[Uvuvwevwevwe_Onyeten]

Why do MOST women sire kids with well brought up men, they leave them coz - I’ve said this - a mere payslip thinking they can raise a kid single-handedly…? same women be dating their ‘close’ friends’ husband’s …with strings of male playmates on whose beds she’ll spend her entire 20s spreading legs like rumours…meanwhile the baby daddy is called names…access to the kid is denied…guy moves on …bam! new family …a wife who actually Cooks human food and new kids with maybe even a better IQ…she’s 32 now…all of a sudden she’s invisible to the mafisi council …the boobs are reading 6:37…eyebags…a demotion at work and a lifestyle disease…and a tunnel of hope - literally …oh, guess what? Now she’s ready to settle …kids expense no longer read as “face-painting, junk and bouncy castle” its SCHOOL FEES/LIVING EXPENSES NOW…then you’ll hear them spew such conventional wisdom …ati “marrying a woman with kids is good blah, blah…”
Dude, unless you’re sterile or deep down inadequate…how can a maize farmer go to town and the one thing he spends his hard earned cash is on buying mahindi choma??
Family is about nation/empire building …if a woman is gonna get married into my household with illegitimate kids, then those kids and their lineage shall be forever subservient to my true bloodline - those raised within my castle and those without …
Lastly, I do not expect my daughters to go around breeding with jerks! If they do, God forbid , it will automatically translate into their own problem …choices have something
If you spermcount is normal and you marry a woman with kid(s)…una kasoro…and plz don’t argue coz I’ve been unwell - my barman got saved
PS:- widows are a TOTALLY different case…Amen??