I love living in the countryside. It’s peaceful and easy. Unfortunately in some places there’s a lot of witchery. When I lived in Vudaywa (Kakamega) there was an old ‘witch’ that people were terrified of, especially when they encountered her in the dark. But all she ever did was shit on other people’s doorsteps. You wake up one beautiful morning, open the door to breathe the country air and boom! There’s a huge dump on your door. I don’t know how everyone concluded it as her but, you know, you are what people say you are.
I also stayed in Kabiefu, Lugari and noticed the same kind of behaviour. A neighbour decided to open a vegetable stall. We were all glad because getting tomatoes would now be a few minutes instead of twenty to the market. It was a good thing. But someone thought otherwise because three days later someone began shitting on the stall counter every single night. She quit on the fourth day after finding shit and a dead frog.
In Marakisi, Lugari still, I was helping my step sister open up a charcoal store. Every morning we went to open the store and there was shit + a dead animal: rat, frog, snake, chameleon, etc. She insisted we keep going though. She closed the store a year later after becoming a primary school teacher and getting married. By then the witchery had long stopped. I guess they ran out of food to shit and frogs to kill.
Now, in Scheme Ndogo, Kakamega, some guy opened up a hotel near Township Primary. He figured the students and the bikers would provide a good customer base; a good place for his business. He was right, and then he was wrong. Barely a month into his venture the shitting begun. First time was a huge dump on his fireplace. Next a huge dump on the door and shit smeared all over the door post. He repainted. Lastly he found someone had shat all over the door and left two dead frogs. He closed. He today told me that he thinks things went the way they did because he is a Wanga in Isukha. I laughed as he narrated the story to me but it wasn’t that funny. A bad joke whose punch line I have heard and smelt a few times before.
Digression: People think Luhyas are non-tribalists, open minded people. They are not. I am a Maragoli who lived with Bukusus, Idakhos and now living in Isukha land I know this to be untrue. Luhyas dislike other Luhyas.
Next a huge dump on the door and shit smeared all over the door post. He repainted. Lastly he found someone had shat all over the door and left two dead frogs. He closed.
Hakuna kitu ka “shat”…shit is a noun. You only conjugate verbs but juu hii ni slang inakuwa tricky but hiyo shat is just wrong.
Beat the shit with motion-sensing floodlights and CCTV cameras. You’d be surprised to see your jealous neighbour squatting at your doorstep, eyes wide open upon seeing that bright light.
but i remember in form 1 at FSK there was this prefect who always made sure i was in the noisemakers list because i was anti-administration and always questioned his decisions in public of which the class always applauded me . most of the times i was perfoming well on the teacher on dutys class so i somehow managed to evade the cane . So time aligundua the Dep Principal hated me with all his guts alikuwa anapeleka list kwake , viboko ziliniangukia mpaka matako ikalia mbwata . ikafika mahali nikasema enough is enough , so one day after the evening preps tukatoka class taa ikazimwa nikajificha hapo kando after watu wameenda i came back and nikafungua desk ya huyo prefect nikahara hapo ndani kwa vitabu zake , nikaenda nika shower nikalala . kesho yake the guy was so scared watu wakamcheka , walimu wakafanya investigations , main suspects tukaruka . the guy was from deep interior (kamasielo ) ego yake ikakuwa dented when his parents heard this walimtoa FSK afraid mtoi wao atarogwa shida zangu zikapungua .
Hii nimeshindwa kuelewa kabisa… @introvert, naomba usaidizi… @uwesmake hajatwambia alikuwa amekula na kufungia “mahenjere” siku ngapi. Though I suspect ilikuwa ya siku tatu…6kg
I.e. 2 meals/day X 3 days. Each meal being 1 kg.
