Louis Kim advises women to leave toxic marriages

I understand how you can be couple goals for people but deep down you are so miserable. When you leave the relationshit everyone asks you how you can leave such a great guy. Wacha niwambie, if a man is too possessive and you are afraid of how he will react even to small things, please just leave. Most women die leaving abusive marriages. Have an exit strategy akin to the witness protection program. A relationship where you are always worried about the explosive temper of your partner is dangerous its no different than being in jail.

I know we especially women want true love, happiness, marriage and children, just remember that you are the foundation for all these things. If you are miserable and scared, if you are always breaking up and making up please reconsider. If you can’t remember the last time you had peace my dear you are building on the wrong foundation. Kumvumiliana is there but your peace of mind and your happiness is also very important.

I am talking from experience where everyone envies you but you are not happy. You can’t remember what you even saw in your partner because the stress, the possessiveness has overwritten anything positive about the relationship.

When you are in a loving relationship, even after the person dies, all you remember are the wonderful moments. When you are in a toxic relationshit you can’t even remember the good times and the good things that person did for you because it’s obliterated by all the turmoil you suffered.

I have been in relationships with men who have done for me big things but I can’t even remember that because it all got lost in the drama. Imagine being with someone for 4 years and for the life of you, you can’t remember their birthday, you can’t remember anything good they did for you because you were so fed up and unhappy that that’s all you remember.

Yet the man who made you really happy, might not have done even half of what the other one did but he was gentle, caring, loving and goofy and fun and he made you feel like a child again and everytime you think of him you smile.

Please ladies let’s love ourselves more. All the money in the world means nothing if you are stressed, depressed, scared and just plain unhappy. I am telling you this from personal experience. I remember my toxic exe telling me 2 things, I thought we were going to have children and that the women out here are not even half as good as you are. It meant nothing because I was terribly unhappy. For the other one, I don’t remember anything quite as dramatic. All I remember was peace, love and unity. When I was sick he’d buy me kuku kienyeji and bring me the soup, we would do barbecues for our friends, we would sit outside on rainy days. I don’t remember a single bad day or incident. Sometimes I regret that we didn’t have children before he died. He was the love of my life.

What am I saying? Please if you can’t remember the last time you were really happy, leave. If you have no peace leave. If you struggle to remember his birthday because you are so inundated with negative emotions and angast LEAVE.

It does not matter how long you have been together. 10 years. 6 years. 4 years. Please leave because life isn’t a rehearsal and you deserve better. I don’t know how to stay in toxic relationshits because I met a guy who made me realize that love doesn’t hurt. God bless him wereva he is in paradise. Normalize drama free relationships. No stress. No drama relationships. RIP to Philomena. May she find true love in the arms of Jesus.


There’s no such thing as toxic men. There are only wrong people marrying for the wrong reasons.

Some females marry a man juu kwao walikuwa wamefungiwa. So the first chance they get to escape their parents, they marry.

Others marry because it’s the image society has for them. Deep down they may love to party but because the were raised by deep christians, they force themselves into the arms of a crude boring Christian.

Others marry for age. Deep in their heart they love a younger man but they feel society will judge them so they marry an older man for society.

Others marry for convenience. For example dem ni msomi mwalimu but is posted in the deep bushes of Pokot. So she marries the only available option that is not a cattle rustler.

Some females marry out of fear. They date a guy for a few weeks but he turns into a psycho and they’re too scared of him so they stay.

In these and many other cases, mkikaa na huyo mume. At some point your true feelings from him will show themselves. From there starts a relationship of hate but nobody wants to leave juu mmepotezeana wakati.

In all I know in my experience as a man. Nobody would enjoy fighting and quarrelling with their wife. Every man would love a happy and peaceful marriage full of good sex and good food. But at some point, a lack of alignment of personalities turns the whole thing into a shit show and the couple is just stuck in a cycle they don’t understand.

No person in a relationship stays because It’s bad. 99% of people feel they’re in the best relationship no matter how bad it looks from the outside.


Have you ever heard of the previous investment trap from Harry Browne? Yaani sunk costs make you feel like you can’t let go. You can’t leave. This lady has been in a relationship with this guy since she was 18. Imagine from 18 to 30. The longest relationship I have been in is 4 years. Imagine 12 years. Probably never dated anyone else.

All I can say is that after you experience true love, your standards are alot higher. Even for myself. I am like I can be a better person. Now that is true love
It makes you want to be a better person. You look up to the other person and you are like I want to be like him or her. She or he makes me want to be a better person. You make each other better. When you are really struggling to see or understand what you ever saw in a person or when it’s just about fun and material stuff then you are not growing and if you are not growing you are dying.

Relationships should make you a better person. And frankly speaking there’s people who you date and you realize that you can be a better person. They challenge you to grow and to be a better person. Unfortunately most relationships people are in there’s no challenge of wow this person is better than me and I want to be like them in one area or another. It’s just you bring your toxicity and I bring mine, so we are like people working in a nuclear plant. Radiation and toxicity feeding each other.

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