Again ladies, it’s a law that after a man sleeps with you his view of you suddenly changes. He develops doubts about you, he questions your dignity and begins to wonder whether you’re just another cheap woman who ‘gives it to everyone.’ His hunting hunger is quenched because he has seen the best you have to offer. The element of surprise that would have kept him pursuing until he marries you is gone. The romantic tension suddenly sags. Meanwhile the same effect would never happen if he only got intimate with you after marriage because by preserving sex for marriage you’d have attained a certain permanent level of dignity and respectability.
One lady said after spending at the man’s house the next day he began to send texts like these:
Sorry for asking but part from what we did last night with you, have you had sex before? (Of course if she wasn’t virgin she must now cook up stories. And yet she cannot return the same questions to him. Sex is permitted by women, much like the gate to a home. If he came in through the gate easily he wonders whether others have been doing the same.)
If you did, was there protection or not? (Obviously they had not used it and he fears she infected him with something. You see by this point in his mind she could be anything: from a low key sex worker to a loose girl. He knows she didn’t insist on protection with him and so he wonders with how many other times she’s done the same with other men.)
And what measures do you put in place to protect yourself from pregnancy? (Now he fears she’ll text later saying she missed her periods, a man’s nightmare. He questions her common sense and he’s too unsure to just sit and wait.)
And you know the most laughable thing? The lady thinks they’re still dating!
Once more, it’s very rare for a man to marry you after sleeping with you because you suddenly look common. Even if he does marry you, he’ll be full of insecurities about you because he knows your potential. Of course you may feel the same about him but again, in this respect men have an upper hand. He can drop you and aggressively seek someone else and he won’t be judged much for having slept with you, but for you its different.
You can meet a good connection and ruin it by lack of principles, and key among those principles involve premarital sex.
We all see life differently. When people ask for advice all they’re really doing is asking you to agree with them–because they’re secretly afraid they could be wrong.
Zulu gives advice to women (mainly), and I’m sure he knows this. But what is good for a woman isn’t necessarily good for a man. Just think for yourself.
I think he is right. A man who had 6 kids with different women, who were all in his custody plus numerous failed relationships apart from baby momma ones proposed to me.
I didn’t say it but I politely declined his offer bcz I don’t understand what is so different now that if I get married to him I won’t end up like his exes.
Another one told me how he burnt his exes clothes and though I said nothing bcz I don’t like confrontation with men before I end up in a thicket, anyway all I thought was what kind of a monster is this. I left him quietly as I always do. Let him take his psycho ass to somebody else.
Sex is sacred and spiritual as well, let’s not cheapen it. Furthermore people nowadays use juju to trap men and women of means through sex. If you don’t want problems in your life, just say no to having sex with people you are not married to. It’s too risky. You can be bewitched and end up as a financial slave or get diseases some that cause cancer like HPV. You can get pregnant with some one who you don’t see a future with. Custody battles. HIV. It’s too damn risky. Take it from me there’s no greater peace of mind than that which comes from abstinence. Nowadays there’s methods to even have children without having sex. Sex has become a very dangerous endeavor nowadays. You don’t know what you are sleeping with, a satanist, an occultist, a whore monger, a conman, a robber. So you better just avoid it, better safe than sorry. Of course probably the lady was naive and hasn’t seen how sex can wreck lives. You are giving someone you don’t know alot of power. If they want to bewitch you or even sacrifice you for riches, all they need is a sexual connection.
I heard about two witch doctors who are brothers and they sleep with one woman to become more powerful. In Corinth there were temple prostitutes ask yourself why?
Let me tell you, with what I know now, I would rather go to jail than give a man who is not even my husband that much power over me. Never. Let those who don’t care about their lives keep it up. As for me, the problems I have are enough, I don’t need to go out and look for bigger problems in the name of sex. I am too old for all the stress and risk associated with sex. I reiterate you never know who you are sleeping with, it could be Satan himself/herself after that your life is doomed all manner of evils befall you kumbe its you who opened the door for the devil out of ignorance . The things I have seen in this world, men and women being enslaved just bcz they had sex, I fear for my life and the way I love my freedom. I can’t imagine being anyone’s slave especially at my age, please I don’t have that energy for meaningless stressors. Even in past week I blocked a man for innuendos. Let him take his madness to his wife, I have alot on my plate, I neither have the time or the energy for such.
The truth is sex is a beautiful thing that has been made ugly. Sex itself isn’t dangerous, it’s people’s behaviour that’s dangerous.
I shudder to hear some mwagandanists here dreaming of chewing lanyes raw. That is insanity in the 21st Century.
Of course sex is dangerous when it’s abused and when it’s used as bait to squeeze money out of a person. I see the dangers of sex as just one cog in the wheel of modernity which moves to make everything dangerous, including some foods. Even HIV and other STIs are money-making ventures. Why do you think healthcare is so expensive, yet if humans seriously cared to preserve life they would work day and night to find a cure for AIDS and cancer and preserve and cause people to grow every medicinal plant and herb known? Instead, they work round the clock to manufacture weapons. In short, nature created sex for the preservation of life, and for the enjoyment of himanity, and man took and and destroyed it.
Actually statistics in Kenya show that you are less likely to get HIV from a Lanye or a gey man than your wife or husband. I guess Lanyes /gey men take ARVs for free so their viral load is low but married folk are in denial that they can get HIV it’s like they think they are special so the virus can’t catch them on top of that they love raw sex bcz they are on contraceptives and have no fear of pregnancies which is what Kenyan women of all ages fear more than death.
Sex should be confined to the institution of marriage. The consequences are just too dire. For me I am ready to die with out it rather than engage in such risky behavior for ‘fun’. I’m telling you life has enough problems especially in the age we are in with wars and diseases that you can not afford to take unnecessary risks in the name of enjoyment.
My position is that of someone who is using their oblongata medulla very well. If you are not married don’t have sex, it’s not worth the risk and it can cause irreparable damage to your mental health, your spiritual health, and your physical health including psychosomatic illnesses. For me I am ready to die at 125 with out it. Very ready. As I keep saying don’t go looking for trouble when God has given you all that pertains to life and godliness. God is our Creator and in our manual He said, shun youthful lusts, do not commit adultery, no one who is immoral will enter heaven and that those who descreate the temple of the Lord which is our bodies, He Himself will destroy. No wonder people who live such lifestyle get all kinds of diseases including monkey pox. I believe God has my best interests at heart that’s why I listen to Him. There’s nothing God loses when we are sexually immoral. Nothing. It’s all for our own good.
True. All these men are not following God’s word not to get lustful, stay holy and keep safe, and take care of your environment. But all they do is end up in brothels like sheep to a slaughter house
The way I see life itself is that it’s really a series of risks, right from birth. You even risk injury or death from an accident by simply getting on a bike, car, bus, train, plane or boat, to go somewhere. You risk a heart attack by sitting at your desk to read emails or messages. You risk being mugged by taking a walk, risk drowning by taking a swim, risk sustaining burns from cooking your food, risk being struck by lightning on getting caught outdoors in a storm. Ridiculous, right? Only that we are socialised to accept the existential dangers as normal because they are almost unavoidable, and we are taught from childhood how to survive with them. Sex is no different a risk, and I would in fact assert that lust is normal, and it has a natural purpose, as does a mating season for animals–and please don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying people should act like animals–lust simply needs to be disciplined. Just that instead of learning how to steer clear of the risks, (same way they teach how to fly a plane safely), people teach fear and abstenance, because they’re ashamed and aggrieved of the things it brings to life, things they would undo if they could. I think it needs to be understood, not feared. Understood enough for someone to avoid being in bed with the wrong people, such as lanyes.
In total agreement. Sex should not be restricted nor shamed long as one is grown. As soon as teenage, put those hormones to work. Safely. Then tools such as birth control, hiv protection should be accepted openly and accessible … and sex work recognized and made safe.
Sex is a calculated risk, but I just do not think it’s wise to encourage teenage sex (not that discouraging it will stop all of them) but that’s too early to start dealing with relationships. That energy can be channelled to books and sports, and exploring all the beautiful things life has to offer. They need to learn that that’s adult stuff and not good for them till adulthood. Before the first encounter the kids are mentally and emotionally free, and the intellectual power of that innocence is precious and priceless. After that, the experience can only be confusing to, a say 15 year old, esp. since the first encounter is likely to be awkward from limited knowlege. But adults must move on to turn a new page in human existence, find some pleasure and make a new generation (for some). But prostitution should remain a social malaise, it’s madness to liberalise it (and yes, I know about Nevada and Amsterdam)
For people like my dear Truwoman, the only likely explanation is an unhealthy, deep-seated fear instilled early in life, whose result is arrested sexual growth. I can only feel sorry for them, because they are willing victims of psychological tyranny.
15 is young age to deal w rltshps but as long as the teens are aware of the rspnsblities that come with sex then let them have fun after all they do have those feelings abstaining is not healthy they can have consensual sex for fun with their agemates or they could learn to nyonga monkey much safer does the same job
You think sex work is a menace ? its a product of abuse in childhood are you willing to explore why some ladies take that path with all the stigma they face for it… no incriminating those ladies they are victims. and so are the talkers who always head to Rico after work
Nothing good can come out of having sex with people who you are not married to. Maybe one day in your journey of growth it will come to you. I don’t begrudge you for your outlook because these truths come at different times in life for different people. I have seen entire families swept away by a one night stand of a husband. Nobody can convince me that extra or premarital sex is harmless or even worth the risk. Unfortunately most people realise this when it’s too late. They catch incurable diseases or have unplanned for pregnancies or even die aborting. Nothing good comes out of sex had with people who you are not married to. It’s not fear it’s wisdom.
This selfish men have drained their families of any sort of a happy life they come and go living half their life in brothels then come home to contaminate everything nothing is holy to them
You think she is paranoid but hope you understand why she is being strict and serious about life you see how the Lanye batallion speak around here these fears are well founded
If you fear falling off a tall tree, yet you want to eat its fruits, you’ll never taste them. You will have to imagine the taste from the stories of those who have eaten them, and tell yourself that you know it:D