Now I’ve had my own share of the blatant brutality that ignorance and racism entails.
If it wasn’t from jungu neighbors it was from the ordinary drunken Joe on the streets on a Saturday night and all of a sudden, he had an opinion on matters Race and Prejudice and he wanted to offload it all on you because he was with a group of his mates and you chanced upon them whilst making your way home in a dark deserted alleyway.
Oh yes,! I even have scars from scraps and scuffles from the battle field.
A couple from cowardly white boys who “bottled” me for being black in the wrong neighborhood to one from a police arrest gone wrong in my younger days.
But you will Never catch me bitching about racism.
My Maumau father taught me that Tribalism, Racism and all Manner of ‘isms’ are the cowards enclave.
Real warriors don’t hide among others in enclaves, they regroup and face their enemies with heroism and conviction.
You will not live long enough to change the mentality of your enemy, but it’s in your ability to strategically disable their effort by the way you react to them.
Anyway wacha niache kuwa-bore!
As you Kenyans would say, my side hustle apart from my main job involves buying, restoring and reselling commercial vehicles.
(You mercury munching 16%VAT paying Kenyans! Kikikikkkk!!!..)…
In England, if you want to buy a second hand vehicle of any description, you get on the various websites, look up, call the owner, arrange a viewing visit and potentially get a detailed analysis and price negotiation before going to pick up the vehicle.
Its as simple as that because 99.99% of sellers are genuine and honest.
And this has always worked for me forever!
So I didn’t have any reservations when I went to view this panel sided mercedes sprinter van 313 two hundred and fifty miles away.
I was so sure I would make at least a £K profit just from driving it down and even more if I bothered to fix the dents and minimal accident damage on it.
I had spoken to the owner and only reason he was so selling it for a throw away price was that he had been incapacitated after the accident and that he had had a good deal from his insurance company to keep the van and still get a favourable compensation.
Why would I doubt the cunt?!
After all, I grew up in the mean streets of Nairobi and I know everything!
So, nikapanda train one early morning on a one way ticket with the full cash asking price on me with one thing in mind.
I am coming home with the van and I hope he doesn’t sell it to someone else before I get there because in my mind, I had already sold it and was already enjoying the 200% profit!..
I get to the guy and he really is walking on crutches and the van looks mint save for the small dent on the driver’s side!
The Nairobian in me even pushes the boundaries and I get to make a cheeky offer of a reduced cost of my train ticket and a full tank of diesel for my return drive! …(16% and all!.. Kikikikkkk)
Jinga ikapunguza bei by another K!
Normally, you get the owner to sign and date the sale on two parts of the log book, youths new keeper gets one side of the cosigned half, and the owner of the vehicle sends out the other side to the sirikali and in two weeks you get a new log book in your name.
But me, I don’t want to own this van in the long term and the more ‘previous owners’ you have on the logbook obviously deminishes it’s value.
It should be a quick flip anyway so I convince the guy to hand me over an unsigned logbook with a view to making it look like there was one less keeper when I sold it on!..
BIG MISTAKE!
So I’m now driving down the countless motorways and luckily I brought my satnav with me otherwise I’d be fucked because I’ve never driven to this part of the country before!
(This is the juicy bit!)
So I’m just coming off the slip road off the motorway at my final junction after more than 250 miles of driving relieved that the the fucker is perfectly ok mechanically.
Kidogo , a black BMW that has been tailing me starts to flush blue lights!
I know that Motorway cops like riding in unmarked Bimas but I have nothing to hide! …
Or do I!!!..
Haki in a matter of seconds, there is three more properly marked police cars zooming past me and blocking my way.
Before I can begin to comprehend what the fucker is going on,; three fully armed coppers emerge from the BMW with their guns pointed at me!
“Keep your hands up and face me!”
Said that fit looking blonde copper with a serious looking gun aimed at me!.
All my senses are now fully awake and she is not even in uniform just a bulletproof vest and before I can breathe, there are two more male cops in my van! One grabbing the keys off the ignition and the other pointing another gun from the now opened passenger side!
All I wanted to do was have a pee.
Kidogo I’m on the tarmack a gun on top of my head and the smell of a hot tyre! If theh push me any close, I’m going to kiss the fucking threads on the tyre!
And then there’s the other cop in a suit and shiny shoes who comes up to me looking all serious!
He doesn’t even look like a cop! He must have got a detective’s job just because he owned a suit!
" You are under arrest on suspicion of Armed robbery , anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law, you have the right to a lawyer nyef,nyef nyef…"
"I want to speak to a lawyer!"I exclaimed!
And when they lifted me back up with my hands cuffed behind me,I saw the helicopter hovering above us!
There must have been at least 9 other cop cars around and the whole Motorway had grinded to a Halt!
And in the middle of it all , Mimi ndiyo “starring!” Kikikikkkk…
Waliniachilia juzi after 20 hours nikiwa neti.
Apparently, i was transporting kichuri worth half a million K Sterling hidden in the panelling that the canine unit easily sniffed out.
Lucky for me, the whole transaction of me buying the van was under surveillance and my almost clean Criminal record saved me!
These gangs prey on people buying vehicles from far away.
They put up an advertisement on say , Autotrader.com alafu they wait for people calling to make a purchase from wherever they want the drugs delivered.
They then stuff the vehicle with drugs and sell it to you for almost nothing!
You unwittingly deliver their drugs and because they had held on to a spare key when they sold you the car, they unlock it and take their consignment.
In other cases , your car just goes missing on the first night after you buy it and it is later discovered burnt out somewhere!
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Buyer beware!
That was my week.
How was your week ?