Kipii oriji reloaded.

Sorry for those who went to private primary schools. Maisha kwenu ilikuwa London. I schooled in those funny funny public primarys ndaaani ndaani kabisa ushago where no one cared whether you are learning anything or not.

Ukifukuzwa juu ya school fee ulikuwa unaenda home. Ukidhani unarudishwa unaambiwa uvue uniform, chukua panga au jembe mnaingia shambani hadi siku fee itapatikana. Kiatu my fren ulikuwa unaiona Dec Xmas ama unaikosa kabisa. Some of us school uniform was also the Sunday best. Na ukitoka shule au church inaiweka chini mbio.

By the time I joined class three the only English sentence my fren Karis plus some others could choke while trying to seek permission was “Wexchus mi ticha,Mayai go tuthe toilet”. Hii osungu ilikam na meli buana.

The best English word we all knew and try to construct a sentence with was
“Abuse”…to me this word meant “insult”.

Eg; Mwalimu ati Karis it is abuse me ngity I going home.(Karis alinitukana mbwa tukienda nyumbani).

U rem Karis in Kihii original? Now Karis was the main reason I ended up a pupil in two different schools. He tried to coach me how to whistle during prayers. Hiyo siku wengi walidhani tarubeta ya mbinguni imepigwa. At some point ile silence ilikuwa we thought the heavens had been opened. I was punished severely.

When life became too rocky for me at Karumiri pry, i enrolled at another CCM school named Gicherory. Life was good back then since Mzee Moi could provide us with packed Ngamia milk.

It was an advantage for me to be in two schools. At Gicherori pry milk was served on Tuesday’s and at Karumiri pry on Thursdays.

“My” schools never had tap water. Every Monday each student at Karumiri was to carry a jerican full of water. The same happened at Gicherori every Fri. A perfect trick for me to interchange school in different days and avoid such tiresome nonsense.

Now it happened that i left Karumiri without a letter of transfer and joined Gicherori. Hii ilimaanisha vita kila siku for not attending school a number of days. But my parents knew i was in school throughout. And that was a fact known by Captain alone. We were supposed to have 5 exercise books but i had ten. Five for each school.

Thou i was among the top scolars i loved the bad company of Karis. He could carry sugarcane, roasted yams and maize, guavas, macandamia nuts plus some avocados which we ate together. That was a bribe to allow hom copy my homework.

Karumiri primary had this coffee plantation. we could steal avocados from the neighborhoods and hid them there till they got ripe.

On this fateful moment we stole some avocados, dug around 1ft pit, put some grass and covered our avocados awaiting ripening three to four days. Lakini si wajua tu. Ngoma ti kihii(lucifer is not an uncircumcised boy). I dont know which saitans came and took out our treasure and popood there then covered the pit as it was. We saw news my fren.

During one of the breaks we sneaked heading towards the plantation to pick our fruits. We hurriedly unearthed the pit. On opening we all scooped meffi(ruharo)each with both hands. It had those white white worms. Bad smell nani. It chocked us. Worse than the pungent and irritating chlorine gas. Toilet flies came immediately covering us like a swarm of bees. We couldnt even fight them to avoid smearing ourself with meffi. Mwenzangu Karis akasahau akashika pua. Badala ya kumsaidia I just burst with laughter. No one could even try to cover the other.

Mwenye alitufanyia hivyo haki ile radi itakustrike inadance Azonto in Nigeria. Before tupate network ya kujua what next, back to class bell ikalia. Faster faster we run to wash our selves with the water in our classroom. Sema kufuatwa na inzi.

We ran as fast as our pebble legs could carrry us. We overtook almost everyone in the school compound towards the class. Those who saw a swarm of houseflies after us screemed in applause or was it in cerebration. I dont know. They just followed us. Nafikiri walidhani tumeshambuliwa na nyuki Kwa kahawa.

We grabbed everyone’s attention in the compound. All the teachers came out of staffroom to witness what transpired.

Before anybody realised they were houseflies all the pupils had surrounded us. We even never got to that classroom. Teachers were amazed. Every pupil in great shock. Our hands full of inzi but tulijaribu kufunika tu walimu wasione. Harufu nayo…it was really terrible. Nikama hiyo meffi ilimwagwa Kwa ile shimo na ile mkebe ya kimbo. Kisha ikaongezwa maji na mkojo.

Amidst hundreds of pupils hatungeweza kutoroka. I could see fear on Karis’ eyes. Mr Wakamani and the way I hated that teacher to death, akapenya katikati ya wanafunzi. I swear we peed on ourselves. Wakamani grabbed us from the neck and led us towards nje ya staffroom.

At some point i thought nimpakanishe hiyo meffi. Then tukaletewa maji tunawe kisha tupeane hadithi ya what happened. Karis mjinga alisema kila kitu. Vita tulichapwa na walimu wote ilikuwa ile ya Kinyugi(rough war).

Unagongwa maslap unazunguka round kama mbili ukiona tustars. unashtukia teke kisha unachapwa sweep ukifika chini unapatana na viboko. Walimu kama kumi. Nakumbuka nilianguka katikati ya miguu ya the one Mrs Mturi nikapenya nyuma yake. Nilichomoka hapo design ya mwizi anataka kuchomwa na tyre. That was th end of me na Karis at Karumiri pry.

33 Likes

Next time try to punguza all the obsolete wordings. Nimesoma quarter only. Somewhere in the grey area.

Enda ukikauka kijana,hekaya iko chonjo na elders leteni likes jama aketi kwa meza na wazee.

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Hekaya imetii. Pewa like yangu

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:D:D:D:D:D

Interesting Interesting… But why insist on that meffi point… Uko na umeffi

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Because ndio starring kwenye sinema, … Rrrrrrigggght.
Ndio sababu ya hekaya.

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:D:D:D:D

Nice

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:D:D:D good one

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Hehehehe…

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:D:D:D:D

ndingiria makodofia kabu, kai ndi @Eng’iti

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Hekaya timam

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Asanteni wanyekijiji

Waaat??? Pebble legs? Gerrarahia

Nice one man! I feel you on this.