Like I have stated before, I make and sell fake Tomatoe sauce. My customers are scattered all over the country. In addition, I sell in Kilifi county too. Why “Too”, you may ask. Because Kilifi county is on a level of its own.
Here is the reason. Kilifi county has four revenue zones. Kilifi, Mtwapa, Mariakani and Malindi. To do van sales in any of the areas, you need a licence, separate from the other. You need a licence to distribute in Mtwapa, another for Kilifi, a third for Malindi and so Kingi.
The county askaris who prowl the county scavenging for defaulters epitomise savage. Mos are visibly under substance abuse, clearly underschooled, openly uneducated, and rudimentary crude in reason. Should you be a victim of their “make as we go rules and regulations” , you are in for some rude awakening. About four to six of the goons will cram into your van, some seating on you now bursting Tomato sauce satchets, some will even attempt to handcuff you to the steering wheel, each giving instructions to wherever they jolly well please, and spewing amargedonian threats. Woe unto to you if you are Greek… Uhuru will be added to the broth and you are done for. Any valuable not riveted to the car will vanish faster than the subsidised CDs in SJ.
And all this, is aimed to maximize the bribe. Should you then kaa ngumu and opt to be taken to their yard, you will wish for an early death. Their seniors who man the offices, will escalate the charges to a level you just wish to leave the van and walk away. At this you will gladly part with a Kings ransom, coz should you opt to be taken to court, you will need a UN resolution to get out. They tedious sly copy pages of their By laws, page after page as your charge sheet for wasting their time. You are then handled worse than a child rapist. You are handcuffed to the cell walls and a few kicks confirms your prisoner of war status.
Feeding wild tigers is child’s play compared to Doing business, at least my kind of business in this county that spans from kwale Taita from the West, Tana river to the north and Lamu to the east. I wonder who advises the admins that being cruel to wqnabiashara is the answer to the problems that plague the Kingi county.
Munene,
I have never eaten tomato sauce, lakini twambie which brands you fake niwashauri marafiki na jamii wasiziguze wakiwa coast. It is very likely that your ingredients are fake too, and the manufacturing process far from sterile.
About four to six of the goons will cram into your van, some seating on you now bursting Tomato sauce satchets, some will even attempt to handcuff you to the steering wheel, each giving instructions to wherever they jolly well please, and spewing amargedonian threats. Woe unto to you if you are Greek… Uhuru will be added to the broth and you are done for. Any valuable not riveted to the car will vanish faster than the subsidised CDs in SJ.
Ngai!!
Kingi’s ransom…hmmm
Wachana na Mzee…he makes Genuine, real, original, fake tomato sauce:)
Ambia huyu mtu ya Diaspora that we are genuine manufacturers of Original Fake Tomatoe sauce of great repute that conforms to international standards as confirmed by Kebs, Nema, NASA, KGB, kukluxklan and IMF.
:D:D:D Na leo kweli sinyore haikuwa fresh.
I feel you bro. I had a situation where the Susutanate kanjos refused to recognized a medical document from Kilifi hospital. It took the intervention of the boss oiled with a threat or two plus karatasi rangi ya thao to make everyone see that Dr. @Luther12 is a doctor whether he is at Kiritiri or Ndunga Unuse or Toa Tugawe…
Hehee pole mzee… …siku moja utapanuka and you won’t have to face those twats anymore, Utakua unalisha mkubwa kwa ofisi, gari yako haiguzwi… .Inshallah
Kilifi County charges entry of all commercial vehicles along malindi road, iwe empty Ama loaded.
So if I wanted to go buy something from say kikambala and am being charged to even enter the county , then still pay cess levy,if you are not a local, these charges vary depending on the mood and hunger level at hand. Sielewi Hii Giriama natakaje?
Inshallah bro
Heheee ati nini? I
No wonder they are being told to learn how to weld ship and make anchors… :D:D
Before Kafogo apewe shock of his life in the primaries he had been talking of having been discussing with his fellow kavanas o n how to streamline these charges across all counties… I thought that was a good move until he was quoted talking of matiti ya shepart
Some two years ago, askaris from Mombasa county decided to chase a lorry that had refused to stop and bribe them. In the course of the chase, the lorry tipped and fell on their car, crashing all of them. It was towed to Mtwapa Police station, meaning they had chased the lorry into Kilifi County.
mkuu, achana na van uiendee usiku na gang… kaa ngumu pia
At times I am tempted to think that Kilifi is still in the old testament days.
…and IEBC
ferk! thats all i can say
Si ukuwe kama nani hapa vile aliwekelea ngumi mzee wa kanjo pale stima plaza na utokomee.:D:D:D
Enyewe hii stoey yako ni noma and by the way mbona unukishe kitunguu na sauce imbo?:eek:
Every Tomatoe sauce you find in Chips dens is fake. Fake in the sense that not a single tomato goes into making the sauce. However, it’s the accepted fumula the world over. Just pick a bottle of any, and you will see the ingredients. Tomatoe paste however, has some Tomatoe in it
Having seen how some 2nd. generation beverages were made with embalming fluid and some with essence d’ ngotha, I was concerned about the hygiene in the production of whatever it is they pass off as tomato sause.
I hear you bruh,I had thought otherwise.