Kijiji Taught Me Lanyes

I came across this kijiji from google as I was looking for pros and cons of a toyota I wanted to import. Indeed, motoring forum is the best; when you filter all the motoring quacks, fantasy dreamers and cons.

So after the motoring forum, I saw sex and relationship forum and a kavoice told me, just check what they doing there (this kavoice lied to me). Mouse, click and waah! First discussion was of a lanye with her picture posted (she looked eatable and my small head responded).

On and on i went looking at posts in this forum and all was about lanyes and escapades some with ugly dirty bottom barrel lanyes but others with lanyes worthy to get it. Elders bragged of their SJ like brothel escapes which thanks to what i saw elders post i have never been to search and can’t be because your mzee if he tries will find himself in the front pages of Kenya Post, a disgrace for stooping too low

From this kijiji my lanye instincts kicked in. I knew tagged … a profile and got my first lanye 21 yrs 3k … i got sex which was to take mzee to wahenga. Then got my 12k lanye (not from tagged) who stayed for a while because she could make sure mzee was fed well plus she was hot, a envy to my pals

Sex became not a kick for me and i saw massage discussions and my small head told me, why not try. Elders suggested a massage parlor and i was there being milked like a cow - the crippy shit i had missed in my life. Now the addiction kicked in - shit i don’t want to go back to.

Then one day in my horniest, i saw a kunguru with good looks advertising wears from kasarani and my small head said why not. Left my car for reasons elders know, took Matatu to Kasarani and in this house were 3 kungurus as beaten as fuck but i was too horny to say not - the small head defeated the big head.

Immediately after first shot kupita, nilipigwa na PNC to a point i couldn’t look at myself in the mirror na hapo nikahapa no more lanyes [SIZE=1](but there are those who still tempt mzee nilipitiaga and others new i see)[/SIZE]


It is time to seek for the next high.

What is this next high @ntash?

You need therapy

I have been here for the last seven years…never learnt that lanye shit.
Maybe am slow.

Avoid thick or fat women, no matter how cute they are, they give the severest form of PNC , hii discussion tulimaiza kitambo

Kutubu ni Kuokoka

SJ nilijua nikiwa form 2 back in 2005. Hiyo time hepi during midterm ilikuwa kwenda Rave F2 na kupitia SJ. First time kuingia SJ nilikuwa nime tense ile mbaya. Those days rooms zilikuwa na ma CD na Tissue kila mahali kwa floor. Mattress ilikuwa imechunwa chunwa edges haina mattress cover so it was the brown beat up foarm. Dem akaniambia nirelax. Akanivalia CD mjulus ikiwa flaccid. Akaingiza na nika pump afew pumps nikanjoti. The rest of the term nilikuwa na wasi wasi ya what if nimeshika ukedi…anyways nowdays am a veteran. Ones a while i go there to chill only not necessarily kula lanye. So siku moja natafuta anything to do with SJ online hapo ndio nilijipata Ktalk. Got addicted from day one. Kwanza nili land kwa hekaya section. Spent weeks reading them. Huku ndio nimejua chuoms mob za massage, tagged nijulia huku, kmtc nilijulia huko. Live long ktalk

One I can think of from the top of my head. Manga bibi ya mtu kwa kitanda yao kwake nyumbani. Do it fully naked bila kunga mlango, so as to avoid confusion on what is going on mkikutuliw.

Nothing gets the blood pumping like knowing the man could walk in any moment and end you just like that any moment. Inakupea motisha ya kutomba like it’s the last time you will ever have sex in your life.

*Never take lanye kwa mancave".The best lesson I learnt from kijiji.Vile hao meffi wamenionyesha…

Lete hekaya donga

Hahahaha or you probably run all the accounts


Fellas are really struggling outchea…wadau wachaneni na ujangili na umalaya madhara ni mengi

It’s reversed my life as I realized all women are the same and stopped yearning for malayas.I was there enzi za New Aden,city lodge etc.

Nilinyolewa bila maji .Hekaya will drop

Next time funga mlango na uweke key kwa cistern ukienda kunyora na mawatchie wajue uko na potential jangili kwa keja so asitoke bila wewe. Ka ni pishori atakulambisha she better be rest assured anatoka hio keja ile siku unaamka

Nipe number ya huyu


si kila talker ni mbirionea kama wewe ako na wochi, huku kayole ongee wochman