@Motokubwa a morbidly obese butcher somewhere in Dagoretti who can’t remember the last time he took a shower. He wears a beige dustcoat that was once white and often wipes his sweat using his bare hands while serving customers. He is a crook who will do anything for a few coins. However, his crooked ways and nickle and dime hustles have paid off. For obvious reasons, women tend to maintain a safe distance when they see him. If you need anything blackmarket he is the go-to guy. A butcher by day and a fence at night especially for construction materials.
@Makonika guy lives in Rongai but works in a garage somewhere in town. He wears a suit and carries a briefcase every morning and his neighbors didn’t know about his real occupation until one day in a Ma3 when oil was seen leaking from the briefcase. Slay queens no longer talk to him after they saw his filthy overall stashed in that briefcase. He used to wash it at night and it was Rongai’s best kept secret.
@WuTang an MMA and boxing junkie who spends most of his time using office wi-fi checking on latest UFC fights. Arrested twice for domestic violence when he got caught up in the moment after watching two fights back-to-back and practised it on his wife. Very humble outside his house but surprisingly industrious.
@uwesmake was last seen negotiating bribes received from a desperate customer with auctioneers. You can find him at the credit section of Ekwiti Kayole Branch. Has a Phd in momology and wastes his Saturdays nursing hangovers. However, he is rising fast careerwise due to connections and brainpower.
@Mimi Huwa Namwaga Ndanii an instagram shosholite. Reminds me of that “Yahaya” song, nobody knows what he does for a living but is often seen at Space and B-Club splashing money. There are unconfirmed rumors that he travels abroad for “business” that only Binyavanga Wainaina could have known.
@TrumanCapote a.k.a Makena. This is the typical “I married a rich guy” woman who is or will evolve to the mama wa harrier. Well spoken and a professional in her career but probably just chops her husband’s money because it is easier than working. She was last spotted gobbling up chicken wings in a not-so-busy mall enjoying her “privacy”.
@digi hardworking and resilient. A stereotypical human robot sent by admin from the future to boost traffic to this site. He does this from his bedsitter in Pipeline while wearing pyjamas and flip flops. Purple pays him via Mpesa from petty cash.
@Staff Member a nut case in Mathare hospital. Extremely annoying character both online and offline. He/she/it is 19 years old max and has spent the better part of his childhood in approved schools.
@denis young a gym rat who spends 50% of his time in the gym and 50% in his house working online. Hardworking and determined but also not the type you would invite to a party. He was last seen in a KCB Juja Branch cashing out some $4000 via Western Union.
@Meria Mata a rich truck owner and venture capitalist. A typical “sponsor” in real life. A short man with big belly and a lot of stories that truck drivers tell around the campfire at stop-over towns. Kungurus at Mlolongo know him by name for his generosity.
@gashwin a former high school principal who is now retired and cooling his heels in Embu. He has a lot of time in his hands and spends 97% of it here, a bad habit he developed when still working. Rumor has it that students caught him several times in “osha macho” threads but nobody talks about it. He is set for life financially but days are getting longer in his sunset years.
@FieldMarshal CouchP a stubborn old-timer who tells Mau Mau stories to whoever cares to listen. Married to the bottle and is always the oldest guy in any establishment: night club or cheap lodging. Many slay queens who tried going after his money were disappointed. However, he is an entrepreneur and has high energy for his age. He occasionally takes solo road trips to distant towns to sample pussy where he isn’t known - a typical creep. 3 women are already pregnant in those towns but cannot reach him.
@Panyaste a low-level worker in a nursing home somewhere in Germany. Makes 50% of his income doing unmentionables to old horny grannys. His uncle touched him inappropriately when he was a kid, but people in Eldoret don’t like talking about it. “Kuchunishwa sukuma” is tucked somewhere in his bucket list.
Hehehehe hio ya panya :D:D:D:D haujamshow poa lmao:D:D
Jinga
Hehehe panya
[COLOR=rgb(84, 172, 210)]@gashwin where are you bwana principal? come see your life:D:D:D
Na si ulikuwa na time nyingi mjamaa!
ghaseer :meffi:wacha tungoje @Panyaste amalize kuosha tunyanya
Writer seems to have a bone to grind with you. Angusha hekaya
Cowards … tumia handle yako ya kawaida.
hekaya ya nini? kama ana issue na mimi that’s his problem. Although naona handwriting ya lightskin!
Allow me to do some marking; don’t mix your metaphors…
It is an axe to grind with you
or a bone to pick with you…
Usiwai ni profile ever again but hio description ya @Motokubwa imewezaa na ni true story…Lmfaoooo :D:D:D:D
2019 and these lists still exists without me
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screwchieth wewe ni nut case
Kama hujanitaja hii post yote ni vanity
:D:D:D:D:D:D
hi baby girl?
heeey there
swafi, niku hustle tu hata wakiniharibia jina, I am not obese but muscular,I am not a thief, I own a mobile pawn shop