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from bookface…
"Paul Pogba’ s agent Mino Raiola has been admitted to hospital after masturbating himself into a coma following the midfielder ’ s £89 m
move to Man Utd.
According to sources , Raiola wanked himself to unconsciousness shortly after the record -breaking transfer was confirmed.
“ He started getting an erection during the Euros, ” said unnamed source Simon Williams.
“ By the time Pogba arrived at Old Trafford for a medical , he was ejaculating dust . ”
A statement from the hospital treating Raiola, said : “ We can confirm that we are currently
treating a man who is in a coma brought on by ferocious masturbation.
“ There is little we can do about the fixed grin, and despite being heavily sedated he has been mumbling ‘ twenty percent , twenty percent ’ over and over again since his arrival.
“ Surgeons have successfully removed his hand from his penis, but we are preparing his wife for the possibility that the erection will be permanent. ”
Raiola’s PA told reporters that the warning signs started to manifest as soon as word of the initial bid reached the agent’ s office .
She said , “ His hands went straight down his trousers as soon as Man United made an approach.
“ When the deal was completed , well , he was pretty much a blur from that point on. ”