Kalonzo

I knew you were an asshole but a tribalistic asshole…? Talk about stacking up shit!

Lemme see if I can explain this:

Gatheri Man was not recognized for his devilishly handsome looks, nor his magnanimity. Rather, he symbolizes the commitment to fulfill your civic duty, the determination to cast your vote. There were many more heart rendering examples one could find around the country, but none is more memorable nor captures the commitment so succinctly as this one.

I am sure this is general knowledge but there has been nothing but criticism from people who wish they were the ones captured at that moment. Give the guy a break - he didn’t lobby for the damn thing!

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Boss, there’s no amount of explaining to make this understandable.

Na hatukulagi githeri juala btw.

No you can’t! these are the kind of debates we’ll keep on having while that clueless tribal King is at the helm. He talks of inclusion yet he lacks the most basic understanding of what meritocracy entails.

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Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. You don’t have to rant for the next five years for Jesus ferkin Christ loves you son.

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Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Jesus loves You and don’t have to rant for the next five years.

Reports reaching my kibanda indicate that the regime is keeping Kenyans busy with self generated fake news that includes empty stadiums and undeserved state honors. Meanwhile, Kalonzo is being prepared for a premiership position in a new government of national unity. EALA appointment was an act of good faith. My guy who has the coke shop happy karibu na Chancery has told me that the cleaners at CVS (mahali pa kuapply visa za shengen) have said that notable political emissaries have travelled to Ujerumani.

You mean it’s like jerking off…you really don’t need a reason? I would tell you to talk to a kind girl but I see you are ill-equipped.

Mwiino uu

Give us an option Sir. Nyamgondho