Jackpot in limbo

Hehe, wacha nicheke kwanza. Guys am about to hit the jackpot with this pretty young church girl i have been eyeing for a while.
You see when i moved into this town in Feb, I was spoilt for choice but nikakausha steam coz huku AIDS is real. I love the church because of my personal reasons with my God. I joined the youth and obvsly is to sample the resources. Now this girl i swear stands out to be the star. I dont care wangapi wako kwa list yake but i knew my chance would soon suffice, and the chance has presented itself hopefully.
She is coming over to be my neighbour kwa plot, anahama kwao coz iko congested. Jana i took her around the estates looking for houses but insisting that plot yetu ndio iko the best.
Sasa nahitaji advice kutoka wadau, what trick will work and what wont work to access her database till her IEBC declares wako ready for re-erections?
Movies kwa laptop?
Kushare supper? (ni mwalimu na mimi narauka narudi late mon to sattdy)

hata matusi za chokosh wa grogan zikuje lakini i cant keep smiling since i got “the call” that she decided on my place. effidense baadaye akiland

Hapo sasa umejikaranga na mafuta yako mwenyewe making her move into your plot

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Anzia na maombi ya jioni pamoja. Make her to eat supper in your house the first few days. Kisha mkizoeana urushe kiswahili.

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Relax,be natural,women are tricky,always feeding you negative to see your reaction.don’t act like you are really happy amekuja ploti yako/yenu.give it a few days akihama ndio utembee kwake alafu dont act desperate for her love

ukileta mbisha ya pretty young church girl

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Huko ni migori?

A prayer partner, literally.

These two sentences cannot be in one paragraph.

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if you ever hit that ikus (with that mentality), come for a beer from me, sorry a fanta. infact, if you went all that far with her including kutafuta plot, but have never thrown a suggestive intention, no advice will rescue the situation. you are not just a brother in christ, you are a brother deep in friend zone. ningekuwa wewe ningeangusha mistari wakati alisema anatafuta nyumba. you should have played it in chuckles that you are looking for a house mate. and when she gets shocked, you look at her straight in the eyes, , smile back, and tell her , YES, and you are my likely house mate, may be latter I bring goats to your father, then laugh it off as if you said nothing. Of course she was not going to say yes, but your seed would have been sown deep, that you are a potential honey harvester. you blew your chances, look for another girl now.

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Wacha tuingie caanan alafu nkujibu.

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:D:D:D

Just make your intentions known early on. Usikae hapo kumbe kuna Oduor anakamua hiyo kitu wewe ukiimezea mate. Na usishangae next day after she has moved in next door ukiona ameleta jamaa la miraba minne kumtembelea.

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Caanan ni ya githurai ama?

Bro zone, bro zone.

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@Deorro rudisha jazzman ajibu hili swali

Brother @nobert wacha kwanza nicheke…halafu nikwambie kwamba uliwekwa kwa brother in christ zone the minute you offered to assist her get a house in your plot…

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sir, you are about to be inducted in the friend zone /wankers hall of fame…

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As @MBOMB would say, you are the Friend with the Blue Balls (FWB).

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Figsed

Your inexperience is displayed like a bill board at westlands roundabout.
You ain’t getting slices here going by your narrative.

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