Personally I am old school and I don’t like the idea of telling my kids I met your dad on FB or dating site online. I like ile in real life. I don’t think we can call her loose and desperate for meeting her ribcage online. So why do men take women who they meet online as desperate. For me I don’t find it romantic to meet someone online but I would not agree with Shaffie and DJ Mfalme and the other guy that it’s a sign of being loose. @Finestwine come explain to me why going to a date with a guy who approached YOU on FB is loose and desperate than a guy who approached you IRL.
Old school is the keyword up there. It’s the modern world. People even used to get wives from pen pals.
Penpals in high school was a trip. No more flowery writing pads. Sigh.
It’s not unusual to meet people online but you should avoid discussing love matters online. That needs to be done the traditional way. You can meet online but the relationship must be offline! Kindly tell us about your experience in an arranged marriage as a pre-25.
Eh
A fine thin line in today’s world. The same folk in real life are the same ones online. What I would advice anyone is not to go for those dates with strangers in dubious places. Start meeting in open places…in broad daylight. And avoid alcohol consumption. You won’t fail to notice the red flags if you stay sober.
I also repeat young people should date fellow broke young people. If that Warunge girlfriend was intoxicated, matters would have been different.
Even @Finestwine said that the lady was cheapening herself to go meet with the guy. It’s not like she went to his house. She just went to town from Kiambu. She went to meet him in a public place and maybe she thought they were meeting at his workplace then they go on a real date. She is relatively young so she didn’t want to rock the boat when the guy ordered take out from wereva. Maybe she thought it looked materialistic to insist on going to a real restaurant. With this Covid manenos maybe there was only take out available. I don’t know but it seems like on the dating scene nowadays a woman can’t win. You meet online on FB or wakina the dating sites you are desperate, you are cheap and you are a woman of loose morals.
So for those like our friends abroad who are working 3 jobs like our women’s rep Mrs purple where’s the time to even date? Life is too busy and demanding to meet people IRL. So I am still struggling to understand why it is desperate, loose and cheap if you have been chatting with someone on FB then you go to town or their office to meet them.
OK. Personally I can’t bcz as a true crime junkie social media is a fertile hunting ground for a lot of Predators both male and female. I will copy paste some horrific stories. Serial killers now capitalise on social media. All kinds of evil people like yahoo Boys. In fact I have a phobia after watching the horror stories. I love my life too much.
Truman can you pls tag me properly. I keep missing them. Separate my names. Ist of all she is 20 y/o. This right here has always been a big bone of contention for me. These young girls meeting older guys online and falling for their suruali removal antics. Quick question…if she was dating a fellow 20 year old would he have been able to ply her with alcohol…prolly not. It would have been an innocent date huko Karura kwao na aende nyumbani.
Yes I stand by what I said..she should not have been there. But she is lucky to be alive. Wengine wataogopa sasa. Now that schools are closed.
Or she could have asked this guy to come to her neck of the woods. Empowerment!!
They met in broad daylight and she was not drinking and that’s why by 7.30pm she was still lucid to say no to having sex in his office on a first date, the person who was clearly intoxicated was the man from his actions. I believe she felt very safe in an office say she arrived in town by 5pm.
As for dating broke people. Broke men are not paragons of virtue. That’s why rape is so rampant in slums. Personally I never dated a broke man. In campus I dated my classmate, who used to give me pocket money, take me out on weekends for nyamchom and do shopping for me. His dad was wealthy enough to gamble 200 k every week at the Intercontinental casino. He was a last born so he was spoilt rotten but I was not broke bcz my dad always gave me money. There were people who drove Range Rovers and benzes to school and there were women who dated working class men who did not drive luxury cars like some students but to me those older men girls dated were a tad too controlling they were violent and abusive so I was apprehensive about older men but few years later, I dated a man who was 11 years older than me and he was actually more respectful than my overpossesive bf from school. I went out on dates with I think 2 older guys who I was introduced to by my school mates who were dating older men. I am very sensitive to people’s aura. They were not exactly fun to be with, they were too serious and not soft and child like so I promptly ditched them. I always prefer men who have a soft aura. To date. The older guy was like that, he was light hearted and funny, it felt like being with another kid. What can I say I’m a big baby. I am fun loving and very child like. Kids gravitate towards me like magnets even very antisocial kids, they’re good at reading auras like animals. So those are the kind of man I like. My school bf was 3 years older than me but he was not childlike, he was abused physically and emotionally as a child so he had lost his innocence. The older guy was more child like than him in spite of being much older. I have a life long friend who is older than my dad he never married and had children. He has such a pure aura. He’s wonderful. So it’s not really a money thing or an age thing maybe it’s the experiences someone has been through. I’ve met single dads who are my age and after spending 30 minutes with them you can feel the baggage they carry with them and I am those people who get tired of stress very quickly so I can’t be with a man who is jaded and bitter towards women and has lost their childlike qualities of being curious and adventurous and silly and funny. I can’t do it bcz it’s antithetical to who I am. Even my best friend is like that she’s fun loving and adventurous and when we are together we can laugh 3 hours straight just goofing around, imitating people. My work friends are also like that.
Personally I don’t see what makosa she did bcz the age difference between the. is not even big. To me the crazy psycho of a man is to blame 300% but I am an open minded person I want to understand the other side of the argument. Though I know that men are also more respectful when they see that you are spoilt and you are not exactly poor or from a poor family, like my male workmates are nasty to other single women especially single Moms but to me they are very respectful even the rudest ones who just love talking shit to women respect me. One of them recently told me that they have never met a woman who loves herself like me, so I asked who did you want me to love? I am also extremely feminine and extremely conservative in how I dress and carry myself and I get preferential treatment every where because I am different, I say good morning to the guards, I smile and talk kindly to waiters, I give out onions and mangoes and potatoes to people like if you help me carry a heavy thing I give you something which isn’t how most people behave especially to people who are lower than them and when I go to see the doctor, I ask them if they have been vaccinated, how they doing, how many people will ask their doctor how they are doing, they end up telling me about their kids and about so many things like yesterday I was with this doctor who enjoyed conversing with me so much he did not even want to pick his phone . I just asked him if the Astrazeneca causes blood clots and it was off to the races, he told me about trials in Kilifi, business rivalry between Pfizer and the other vaccine, how vaccines have never been this profitable. It makes me memorable. The other clients weren’t too happy for me hogging the doctor’s but I guess no one had asked him about something he was interested in all day and it was towards the evening. So I think men also kind of pima you and decide how much respect to give you as a woman . Depending on how you carry yourself. How you speak, how you dress, how content or needy you appear.What is a woman with out social graces?
He did not ply her with alcohol, that’s why he threw her out the window. She said no to sex. When I was 20 years old I dated a guy who was 31, and I have never that in love with anyone there after, so it’s not a sin to date an older, as long as he isn’t married. I have dated a widower who was 20 years older than me. Women date older men. I have dated younger people and older people but I agree that more than a 5 year difference is not a good idea, but I know that bcz I have dated both older and younger but sometimes there are exceptions you can meet a young person who is wise beyond his years or an older person who is young at heart, maybe led a very sheltered life so he’s not jaded or having alot of emotional baggage.
Warunge was drinking, doing weed, his poor egg and smoky selling girlfriend was not like him and that goes to show that virtue doesn’t come with money bcz she was from a poor family but she was more virtuos than him probably why he fell in love with her to begin with.
Okiiii. If you want my opinion, then don’t bring in your experiences. That was then. This is another generation altogether that we need to save from such situations. They have a whole new world in front of them which is the internet.
Ke
Keep the focus on the 20 yr old. From Karura and in an office to meet bae…and let us go from there…pls.
You missed my point totally. Ni sawa.
Online folks are the same jamaas in suits - your colleagues/relatives etc. With social media today, a lot of relationships are formed online, business, friendship or otherwise.
In the dating world, it’s where you firstly meet these folks that matter, (has to be in a public place) and ability to discern between a genuinely nice person, or a creep. They’re the same people that we interact with in offices and the streets anyway.
Exactly my point. But an office on a week day is not a public place? Some people are good at pretending what can I say, he was nice enough to lure her from Kiambu to CBD and I’m certain hakutuma fare.
OK. I have never met anyone in an office but I thought an office is a public place during weekdays?
BTW I can tell you alot of hekayas about offices. I had this stingy boss who would bring MWK after office hours and feed them Chapo and office tea.
Another one was caught doing the deed with a MWK in the office on a Sunday afternoon. He was the CU chair.
I had this boss who was sexually harassing me, he told me to go to the office on Saturday, when they’d be nobody to do some work I said yes but was a no show I was given a warning for absconding duty. LOL. More like absconding rape.
In her defense, she just landed on the wrong person - a sadist and she was too naive and trusting to see it or read in between the lines. That’s someone who is likely to attempt rape or something similar in private spaces.
There are other similar henous stories of people getting conned, sexually abused and duped in relationships everyday, although they met offline. It all boils down to discernment and being a little stubborn too.
I think the only salvation remaining is to carry a weapon. I keep a very sharp knife at work which can slice quickly. Aim for the jugular. Anyway I am sure the poor girl now fears even standing near a man. What a rude awakening. Hope it wasn’t her first date. How old is the guy?
BTW you must be having a serious problem to push some one from 12th floor. What if she had died? That guy actually is a danger bcz I don’t know what kind of anger that is. He is a danger and don’t be surprised to hear he has killed someone soon.
I guess he inspired trust in her maybe they had even video called, in fact most men do not even want casual partners to know where they work. You would think an office would be a safe place but no. It’s even more dangerous than the house.
She was stubborn and look what it got her. She should have pretended to go to the bathroom to freshen up then disappeared. Stubbornness and defiance will get you killed in these streets. Apparently it’s the worst thing you can do as it aggravates the rapist.