Image of a broken home... copied, take a look what makes black Americans bonobos, this is the picture of most of their family toxic environment

The Image of a Broken Home

Look at us. None of us look happy. I thought I was a tad bit older when pops left but as I remember it hit us pretty hard. How do you leave this? Sadly shortly after my dad left is when my life started to go left.

My mom was a homemaker & had no education or skills so we found ourselves on welfare. Went from middle class living to poor overnight. Of course child support would be in order but my dad didn’t do the manly thing and give my mom money to take care of his 4 kids he waited until the courts made him and started garnishing his checks.

My mom didn’t want to stay on welfare so she started going to school to be a nurse. As we got a little older she started going to work & school.

We were missing the hell out of our dad. He’d call and our mom would let us talk to him on the phone. She’d be talking crap about him in the background & my dad would be giving us empty promises. He’d always tell us he was coming to see us and although he did sometimes come, most times he’d never come. I remember waiting for him by the front window. My mom would yell, “Boy get your ass out the window you know damn well your lying ass daddy ain’t coming!”

Moms was verbally abusive & very toxic. These days she’s no longer verbally abusive but she still is toxic. I love her but our relationship is horrible. She wasn’t the build you up type of mom that would tell your kid you can do it. She was the type that would tell you your ideas were stupid would even call us stupid if she was in a bad mood. Moms was born and raised in New Orleans. Not sure if it’s a southern thing but my grandma was toxic too. She used to curse her kids out even us her grand kids. Our home was so toxic & I know that now having a family of my own.

I’ve never ever cursed at my child and I will never curse at my grandchildren. I don’t even curse at my wife, never called her a bitch or argued with her in front our children. I may have raised my voice at my wife early in our marriage like in my twenties but that’s as far as it went.

Just because I came from a toxic home didn’t mean a toxic home had to come out of me.

Who would look at this picture & say 2 of these kids in this picture will go to prison. That they would have horrible relationships as adults. The only one I really got along with was my sister Shanelle, may she rest in peace. Her & I couldn’t stand our dad, not because he left but at the horrible attempts to have a relationship with us as adults. My youngest brother the one my mom is holding is homeless. My sister LaVel, she turned out to be a deadbeat daughter & doesn’t talk to or check our mom ever. Her and I don’t talk at all. Some of the results of a broken home & a father who is absent.

I believe my dad was a coward for what he did to all of us. I can understand if my mom was too toxic but he left us hanging. Out of all the court dates I went to as a juvenile my dad didn’t show up one time, only my mom. Out of all the hospital visits my sister Shanelle had to make to treat her Lupus he was never there only my mom. He tried to establish relationships with us as adults but they failed. I think we had so much hidden resentment for him leaving us that it hindered any effort he put forth. My sister was so sick she could’ve live on her own. She went and stayed with my dad for a few months then left. That negro had the nerve to charge my sister to take her to dialysis! Who charges their sick daughter to get treatment. She would tell me at times he’d go days without speaking to her & the only communication would be hand written note here and there. WTF? So she moved back in with my mom & was reluctant because she knew how toxic my mom was. She had no choice. Cold thing is my mom charged my sister rent but let my dead beat dad brother stay there rent free!?

Thankful to my wife for being a part of us creating a family environment of love, peace & support. Thankful my kids didn’t have a childhood they had to recover from as adults. Thankful to have a great relationship with my adult children. Thankful my kids got to grow up seeing me love their mother. Thankful for breaking many generational curses.