My life has stagnated,
1.my business is slow, i quit formal employment to run my own consultancy but i think i have come to a plateau,
People we graduated the same degree and that stuck in employment are making double what am making and without as much struggle and un-certainty.
2.I have lived in the same estate for 4 years and driving the same 13yr old car.
3.The bitches am seeing cannot be called wife/relationship material… yet i feel i need to have a happy family.
4.I have fake friends who seem not to add any value in my life and need to break away from them
I need to reset everything and in the next 6-months be on the right track.
Anyone who has or is in a similar situation and how did you handle it.?? please share and help a brother.
The feeling of stagnation is often an internal perception that does not necessarily have to be real. Sometimes our circumstances make us feel stuck, even when we are actually at the apex. Your business may be slow, but am sure you are getting by somehow. Sometimes we make the folly of comparing our fortunes with those of others, ignoring the fact that opportunities are never equally available. Worse still, when making comparisons, we tend to do so with those doing better than us. In your case, for every person earning more than you, there will be several people earning less than you, and who are not exactly less happy than you. Therefore, that should not be a reason to feel depressed.
As for the residence, maybe your current location is sucking too much energy from you. In this case you do have the option to move to a different place with a different environment. Apart from changing the general atmosphere, moving to a place you have always dreamed about could help separate you from the friends whose value you are beginning to question. With the improving infrastructure,it is possible to live in attractive green places but still be an hour away from the city. And one other thing, that 13yr-old car becomes new when you move to outer Nairobi.
As for women, I would advice that you stop looking for one consciously. Just lead your life and a right one will appear at the appropriate moment. Most of the species you encounter in facebook and the like are too shallow to sustain a sensible chat for even a few minutes.This can be frustrating especially when you are looking for substance. I might advice you to try hanging around teachers’ groups and you could get lucky.
Good luck and don’t hesitate to ask for my mpesa number should you find this advice useful.
About business, that happens at times. Hang in there if you can. Exert yourself and it’ll pay off eventually.
I quit my job an year in August. Business has been trash, I’m looking to start a new job in September. I accepted that sometimes business works, sometimes it doesn’t. Mine sorta flopped plus due to family emergencies in December and March a huge chunk of my savings was eaten up.
Don’t compare with what your colleagues are doing. When your biz opens up you’ll be fine and will have time to carry out several endeavours at once due to the time on your hands.
Does the car work fine? Is the house in good condition? Relax then.
About the lady, end that ‘relationship’, take some time alone and figure out what your priorities are and what you are looking for in a lady.
Just cut off the fake friends. Brutal and hard I know.
I’m in the same process currently. Had to literally delete my social media accounts. (That’s why I’m on here a lot :D:D:D… No Twitter, FB, IG, Whatsapp for a month now. When I get back I’ll just connect with family and the 2-3 real friends) I realized it’s “out of sight, out of mind” for most of the “friends” we have. Thought of changing my number but was told thats a bit radical (Business contacts may look for you etc).
I have liked some of what you were told. However note the following:
Your business might not be working right now. Do you have a good long time direction (5-10yrs)? If you don’t have, you need to do one ASAP. I failed in my business because I expected to break even within a short time. I failed. Guys who came after me are doing better.
Never ever measure your success by earnings of your peers, measure your earning potential. Look at the long term prospects and viability. For example, If I were 26 years old and earning xK on self employment, and my colleagues were earning 2xK, I would feel proud of myself. You can develop hiyo biashara. I wish I knew that.
Look for your dream girl in the right places. It amazes me that we are willing to Look everywhere and ask for advice (sic) about the right car yet we can’t ask from our close acquintances about the right girl to marry. Ask bro ask. There are very many good girls around seeking to be asked out by a good guy. Use your networks, date and choose wisely.
Friends. They are going to come and go. In 10 years, you won’t be hanging around the same group of friends. Some will develop different interests, some will go to far away lands while some will be around and avoid you. Some might even die. Avail yourself an opportunity to make new friends.
Finally, a car is just a car. It’s a liability, it doesn’t earn you any money. If you don’t need it, you don’t have to have it. I drive a 14 year old car na sijali. I don’t care because I can invest cash in a better way. If your boat sails better with a newer car, so be it.
Start having bigger goals of what you want that take you out of your comfort zone, and align all your actions to achieve those goals,if you ever find yourself stagnating it is because you have become comfortable,the only things you can work on are your business, where you live,car and friends etc. stop putting women as an achievement, relationships are a by the way, that side is a hit or miss and you will find yourself spending a lot of money and wit in a tunnel and the road will be disappointing
My friend you are doing just fine…keep working harder and stop comparing yourself with people and you will be fine…I don’t see any reason why you should move houses…unless you have bought your own house…
And I don’t see why you need another jalopy unless the current one is costing you more in terms of maintenence…
Na bibi unaeza oa hata ukiwa 40
Your problems are what most 25-35yr olds go thru…vumilia
You are fine. You might find out that your friends envy your life. No boss , you eat what you kill. Look for an alternative business channel if income stagnates. Or sell and start afresh. Old car old house. No big deal. As long as you are comfy- especially in the pocket. I drove a 20 yr old junk until last year and although my new feels good, it is not that much better.
Setting new goals is key to life.
In this life it is all about competition. life is a race you either compete with yourself or with others & in both situations stagnation feeling will be there so learn how to deal with it.
Business is cyclic with lows and highs. Learn to take advantage of both cycles rather than riding the high and hiding the low. I sympathise with all business guys here. The last year and a half have not been good.
