Hua sipendangi ujinga

Back in the day, nilipata kakazi nairofi nikaamua kujitoa gichagi. Moved to some estate on the outskirts of nairofi (read kitengela ) na maisha ikaanza.
Though sikua na kakitu vile the struggle was sweet. The indecision on whether to buy food or alcohol na kuimport bush-meat (kunguru) end month then getting flat broke tarehe mbili was the norm for the first few months. But after taking an impromptu leave due to the fact I was flat broke and imbibing myself on half-cooked beans na sembe for around 17 days, i learnt to manage my finances better and coincidentally during this time, that’s when I met her.
Mama mwingine jirani mmeru alifungua shop chini ya building and brought in some wonderful lady kutoka ocha, spring-chicken kitu ukipewa unatafuna hadi mifupa. Mi na bidii yangu hapo ndo nilianza kupiga kambi in the hopes ya kupewa slices. Mashimo niliwacha kuenda jioni and used to spend time kwa Duka nikitupa vyb nimenunua Mayai mbili ndo nisikae kama mjinga. Saa ya kufunga was there daily kusaidiana kuingisha vitu nani. Then it happened!! mwanamke akaniuliza ‘’ kwani Stani anapoteleanga wapi’’
Stani better known as Stan was the typical nairofi guy. The guy was my immmedeate next door neighbor and used to drive a Nissan sylphy with mufflers. As a norm, alikua anaingia kwa nyumba earliest saa saba usiku na anatoka 6. Weekend ni mabash kwake with a lot of noise upto late in the night. We did not relate much with him except in the few times I used to find his keys on my kitchen sink wakati ameleta Malaya na hataki kubebewa vitu kwa nyumba: alikua anazirusha kutoka kwake. I later came to learn that yeye ndo alikua anakamua hii nyama. How they came to meet sijawaielewa… Coz he was never around. But on asking the caretaker aliniambia huyo dame hua anahepa kwa usiku anaenda kwa huyo jamaa. Didn’t believe this until a few days later niliona na macho yangu…
The pain I felt was indescribable, hii kupigwa na baridi usiku kwa Duka na kununulia dame maziwa alafu anakamuliwa na mangaa! Nikawacha kwenda uko mrembo ananitext Kam unikalishe nikaona hii ni ujinga nakalisha mtu no slices anangoja Stan akuje saa Sita usiku asneak aende kukamuliwa. The last nail on the coffin is when I realized the guy did not even know my name alikua ananiita 2 buda. Nikasema Ata mimi sipendangi ujinga…
The building I was staying in had limited parking space and as a norm, raia zilikua zina park inje especially during end month when some fool anafungua gate ka amelewa na kuweka Gari vibaya. The building was 4 storey with hanging lines at the top so ukiangalia chini unaona magari vile zimeparkiwa inje ya mbuloti. Nikasema hii madharau yote lazima the Subaru wannabe Nissan sylphy ya mwanaume lazima iumie… Wanaume lazima watoe machozi, apantaka ujinga…
Nilikua na some big canvas bag ni ka enda nikatafuta mawe Kubwa msuuriii… Ile ya mjengo nikaieleta kwa nyumba. Kila siku Napangusa mawe yangu polepole nikingoja sylphy iparkiwe inje ya mbuloti. Nikaipata siku moja but nyangau ilikua imeiweka mbali sana mawe ingifikia ama Ningemiss nikaona sitaki kugamble. Kesho yake nikatafutia mawe yangu rafiki yake… Sasa nilikua napangusa mbili polepole kwa nyumba.

The D-day arrived, to cut a long story short, sylphy si Gari ni kama imetengeneswa na makaratasi…

Na hiyo kazi sikufanya peke yangu, caretaker aliniona nikingangana na kitu usiku akanifuata polepole. Ile mawe yangu ya kwanza iligonga ukuta ikamiss… Nikashtuka mtu inaulisa kando yangu ‘uko na ingine’…

Tulirusha ile rafiki yake na yeye…

Sipendangi ujinga!!!

nimeona huwa hutaki ujinga ingine juu yako ni inborn

:D:D:D:D pole sana buda

Lakini ukichengwa tulia.

unacheka nini ngombe hii?

ukinisumbua sana nitaongelesha Randy ahamie Dagoretti kitunguu iungue kabisa

Niaje @stan ,rafiki ya mawe yako,iligonga subaru wannabe, windscreen,mgongo ama boneti ??

:D:D:D:D:D

Zingine ni ujinga Reloaded, unaaribia mtu gari yake juu alikua hapo mbele yako?? Ndo maana hutawahi buy ata baikolo

[ATTACH=full]162679[/ATTACH]

Kunguru akiwa ocha na fala wake…hehehe

Bomoa kabati pole pole nanii.

buda inakaa game yako ilikuwa chini. ukipigwa chenga kubali tu…there was no need kuharibia mtu gari. kunguru ni wengi ulisa ango

Typical Beta male. :D:D:D Unabebwa ujinga by both the dude and chic. Kuteseka ni kwa muda lakini kubali tu Stan ni alpha male who has better game than you and who is richer than you. Wivu ya nini?? Hahah

Ujinga ni mbaya sana. Sasa unaharibu gari ya mtu juu amekutangulia slices mbele yako??
Niko very sure hata after kuharibu iyo gari ulibaki umekufa na dry spell

11 jungle green emojis.
Hekaya fit lakini akili pungwani.

Kila siku Napangusa mawe yangu polepole nikingoja sylphy
Sasa nilikua napangusa mbili polepole kwa nyumba.

Nisiokotwe pliss

ukichezwa kubali accept and move on

kuna mzoga ililetwa kwa duka karibu na keja
alikuwa mizoga ile ya kumezea mate
kila fisi ilikuwa inasumbua nikasema hii siwezani na hawa mafisi wote
nilikuwa naenda nabuy nachomoka

one day akaniuliza mbona tommy unakuwaga ivo
nikamuliza hadi unajuwa jina yangu?
akadaii eeh kwani ni nini nilikufanya
nikauliza mbona? juu naonagaa unanichukia
nikadai apana niko poa

nikaendelea na shuguli zangu
mzoga next niliona text hey there?
apo nikaenda true caller ikatoa picha ya mzoga
nikadai who is this?
mzoga ika-anza kuexplain
to cut the long story short told her ile siku utatakaa kuongea kuja home
one sunday ring ring uko home nikuje leo

she came told me nafaa kufungua shop 2pm we only have 2 hours
hakuna kurusha kiswahili ni kukamua tu

sometimes lenga ile mzoga unatakaa itakutafutaa mwenyewe

hio ngombe ya anthrax nitaitupa kwa condemned pit,uliza musub county @Meria Mata hio ni nini

av not laughed like that for a looong time

Aki ya Ngai nimeangua kicheko vile tu huyu jamaa ametaja mawe.

enyewe iyo ujinga uko nayo haupendi:D:D:D:D. nway nice script