How to hit all her right buttons after menopause
Saturday, May 08, 2021
How to hit all her right buttons after menopause Photo | Photosearch
By Joachim Osur
What you need to know:
Menopause is a time when women experience considerable hormonal changes which result in symptoms such as hot flushes, mood swings and sexual problems.
Further still, many men develop sexual problems around this time and this only complicates the situation further.
Preparing for menopause by drawing closer to your spouse when you both pass the age of 40 years is key to what follows when menopause sets in.
Jasper had just fallen in love when I first met him. He was 60 and his new love was 32 years old. They were yet to engage in sex.
“It is exciting but I am worried that I might fail to rise to the occasion like has been happening with my wife,” he explained, “I don’t want to lose this girl so get me medicine before I move to the next level.” He then burst out laughing. He was referring to his tribulations with erection failure when attempting to have sex with his wife. He believed that the strain in his relationship with his wife was the cause of his erection failures and that by getting another woman he would be happier.
“So does this mean that you are divorcing your wife or are you becoming polygamous?” I asked, still trying to fathom this new drive towards a cross-generational relationship. He shook his head and explained that it was too late to divorce and again too late to get into a marriage and be polygamous.
“I will keep the relationship secret,” he said, “Many of my friends are doing this so I am not alone.” I nodded, encouraging him to say more. I needed to understand his sexual values to be able to help him.
Jasper’s troubles started when Mary, his wife, hit 53. She went into menopause and with it came a myriad of problems that Jasper could not cope with.
“The moods are horrible doctor,” he explained, “And she no longer wants sex.”
I could understand where Jasper was coming from. A lot of changes happen in menopause as a result of a drastic fall in sex hormones. Many women get episodes of uncomfortable body hotness and sweating, commonly called hot flashes. Lubrication during sex becomes difficult and sex can be painful. Sex desire also gets to its lowest. Most women tend to have frequent moody moments and can actually slide into depression. Getting sleep becomes difficult. With poor sleep comes chronic fatigue and body pains.
Multiple body changes also happen. Turgidity of the skin is replaced with loosened and wrinkled skin. Hair loss can also happen. The tummy may become bigger than usual. Many women hate these changes and lose self-esteem. Loss of self-esteem further depresses sexual desire.
Many women no longer view their husbands the same way. The original intimate connection may wane. Further still, many men develop sexual problems around this time and this only complicates the situation further. It is bad enough to have erection problems but it can be complicated when your wife is also going through menopause.
“You have hit the nail on the head doctor,” Jasper interjected, “I have suffered and I am still suffering and I now have a solution to this problem once and for all through the new relationship.”
The question, however, remains on how a man should handle his wife’s menopausal problems as well as his own sexual deficiencies. Is getting a new sex partner the solution? “I am yet to experience it doctor so I do not know,” Jasper said throwing his hands in the air. The starting point should be to get professional advice on how to manage menopause. Diet, exercise and self-awareness do help. Get some lessons from a doctor on these. Where the symptoms become unbearable, there is medical treatment that can be prescribed.
Greater investment is for sure needed including giving more attention to your wife at this time. Menopause is a test of your love. If you have had a shaky relationship, it is likely to crumble at this time. Preparing for menopause by drawing closer to your spouse when you both pass the age of 40 years is key to what follows when menopause sets in.
The man should also not forget that their sexual deficiencies complicate things further. Women get irritated by poor sexual performance which may be from age related health problems. If you are not tight in your relationship and you develop erection failure at this time, you can expect a very bad reaction from her.
“You see, my wife became very unreasonable when my erection failed,” Jasper interjected, “She accused me of infidelity and said I no longer loved or cared for her.”
“So should I say that instead of seeking treatment for the problem you decided to get into a relationship with a young girl?” I asked, to which Jasper nodded vigorously in affirmation.
Well, it is better to be realistic. I asked Jasper to do three things: first, he needed to bring the wife to the clinic for menopause treatment; second, he needed to have his erection failure treated; and third he together with his wife needed to have couple therapy to rebuild their intimacy.
“But I already promised the other lady that we will move ahead with the secret affair,” Jasper retorted, “I do not think you are helping me.” And with that he left the clinic in protest.
A few weeks later Jasper was brought to hospital gasping for air. He said he had taken some pills. He had a packet of the pills. They were erection enhancers. Unfortunately he had taken a higher dose than what is medically recommended. Our efforts to resuscitate him failed
Shifo this thread is on the wrong forum. Here we have men who are perenially in their mid twennies and they always remind us. Ati how rich they are, how single mums throwselves at their feet but they can only shag no more than 21y/o etc…so you know where this thread belongs.
Shifo pore Sana ,nakutafutia a young nubile prolific ghel from mayakos ama namna gani?I hear wen a women hits menopause,the poosie becomes as cold as ice,inshort ukiweka kuni moto inajizima tu Kama gari imeisha fuel