The first one, really is, the simplest and most obvious rule. Men are about 5 times stronger than women if not more, so avoiding direct confrontations with any man. This one rule alone can safe guard you at a level nothing else can. Never,ever be alone with a man if you are not in public places with other people. This means that it can be a public place like a park but if there are no people you are not yet out of the woods , no pun.
Dont go to men’s houses, dont take them to your house, dont go for private house parties, dont use stairwells in places you are not familiar with, dont walk in deserted parking lots, dont sit in your car ,go in and leave immediately.
If you have a boyfriend or husband you are closer to femicide than anyone else. If a relationship is no longer fulfilling, do not cheat - leave. Cheating on a man is extremely dangerous because its a biological threat, another man or other men could impregnate you denying him a chance to have his genes procreated. Its in the lizard brain. If you cant leave and he’s cheating , stop having sex with him or move out of the bed or room. Dont confront him about his affairs or threaten to cheat to revenge. You could get killed. These species are crazy. They will cheat on you, even infect you with a disease but kill you over suspicions that you are cheating.
If you have a man over at your house for some work like a plumber, electrician or painter have an extremely sharp knife concealed on your person,keep some distance if you are in the same room,leave doors that exit and gates open incase you need to flee.
When you are alone with a man and he starts displaying agressive behavior, dont talk back, just look very scared , placating and apologising or asking him to calm down will make him more agressive , keep as much distance from the aggressor as you can. Look around the room for something you can use for self defence. Do not go to bed in the same room with an angry man many women have been killed in the middle of the night when they thought all was well.
Bolt taxi has option of using women driven cabs ,use those, if you cant you can ask someone to follow your journey and to call you if the taxi goes out of the route to your destination. Check the number plates to ensure they match the cab you called via the app, send it to someone so that incase anything happens the car can be traced. If you are taken outside the car, put your phone on silent and throw it anywhere hidden in the car, it can help the police track your abductor.
Avoid being in matatus or places with more men than women. If you enter a matatu and its only men in it alight, you can be gang raped. If you are not driving and going to a place like CBD or any congested areas dont wear suggestive clothes because it draws more attention to you and could cause you to be victimised by men.
If you hit a boda boda and you can drive into a house nearby or a police station do so, dont stop at night on scenes of accidents . You can be car jacked or sexually assaulted. Avoid using boda boda at night. Many women have ended up being raped and killed for doing that. When its dark stay on busy highways where there’s cameras and always look at the car behind and around you just incase you are being followed. If you are , drive as fast as you can into the nearest establishment available. Never be lured out of your house at night by emergency calls, ask the caller to call a man to go where they are .
We live in a very women unfriendly and dangerous environment for women. Its better to be paranoid than be a victim or dead. Let’s keep it real by staying safe. Security starts with you and in Kenya it also ends with you.