So I have been in those situations where a friend or relative passes and their spouse usually male remarried. It then becomes a huge debate about how wrong it is to remarry so soon after the death of their spouse. I just wonder how idealistic people are about marriage to think that a partner is irreplaceable. Marriage is about utility. That’s why if your husband is broke you leave him for a mubaba who isn’t even able to marry you because he’s not your child so your commitment is predicated on performance . Marriage is work, if there’s work to be done and the person who was doing the work died what do you want their former partner to do? But for some reason people really catch feelings when this happens including men, who’d do the same if their wives died or even fell ill but get mad if their late sister’s husband does it. Human beings over romanticise marriage. Btw back in the day our parents time people didn’t remarry quickly or even at all but nowadays before your body is even cold it’s your own relatives and friends making moves on your poor widow. I received a wedding card from a spouse to a late relative, I was thinking of going but it’s now become an act of betrayal to attend. All because people believe that because they loved someone and they’re irreplaceable to them the spouse should feel the same way. But marriage isn’t that kind of relationship, marriage is a utility relationship, like the one you have with your plumber if he dies you get another one. You are irreplaceable to your mother and maybe your siblings and kids but that’s just about it. Don’t be so hard on people who remarry after a month how else do you want them to heal other than by getting a replacement? It’s just reality and common sense. Tuwache kucatch feelings. If you can’t move on how about the kids who are getting a new mother who may favour her own kids over them but si ni life? Life has to go on .
Why should you care when adults decide to touch their genital with consent forever? They lives, they business, kapotty look for something to focus your energy. Kam calabash
You have bundled a number of issues together …
- How soon depends entirely on You …
Death of a Spouse ends all emotional and contractual attachments. - The issue of the welfare ,wellbeing and security of minors is something that must be discussed and agreed upon beforehand.
Jumping into situations that create misery for minors is unacceptable.
There will always be those who have a contrary opinion or who will disapprove of your new status or relationship.
Tell them to mind their own business…!!
1 Like