How I learnt kupika ugali Final part

That night I had horrible nightmares, I dreamt trying to look at the thing behind me in the car, “wewe…” It had said. I couldn’t figure out if it was a warning or a getting my attention wewe. In the dreams it only seemed like a shadow. But it didn’t matter much, my paella had come home so eventually I’d stop being insane once we were in love again. She agreed to stop going to her cousins and I agreed to be more compassionate and attentive. We tried to get back to life as it was before everything. But we couldn’t. She was always sick, one time it got so bad she had to be admitted for like a week. I on the other hand was drowning in the voice, every night when I went to bed it would speak to me. Softly but clearly next to my ear, sometimes in Swahili, sometimes English others no idea, but they were words. One day Jane asked me to drive her to go visit her mom back home. I was still an unacceptable inconvenience for her family so the plan was that day we’d spend together at a hotel in town then she’d go home to her folks the following morning spend the day there and come back to me in the evening. She was on her cycle that night so we couldn’t do it. We slept spooning with me behind her. Sometime in the night the familiar breath predictably blew on my neck, “haniafu, I want you.” It said. I opened my eyes but as usual there was nothing there. Jane was fast asleep in my arms. I closed my eyes thinking the words in my head “just leave me alone.” Fell asleep and abit later the same voice, “wake up” it said. Then nothing.
The next morning I dropped her home and went loitering around town to kill time. I found a cyber cafe and started Googling for stuff, voices in the night,psychosis, schizophrenia, hauntings, demonology… Anything I could think of I read about. Then I came across this forum on darknessembraced.com. There was a girl on there who’d posted stuff about Wicca, spells, rituals basically a lot of weird shit. On there she talked about how most spirits are subject to our(humans) will, that except in summoning instances most malevolent beings can be repelled mainly by will. I figured if my condition was psychosomatic then will would have to work. So I left the cyber confident I had a handle on it. I dedicated all my thoughts and energy to repel whatever it was that was haunting/ driving me insane. That evening Jane called and said she wouldn’t be coming back to the hotel. I was on my own.
After dinner I went out strolling in town had a few beers, got hit on by some hookers and went back to the hotel got into bed. Later that night I felt a very soft touch stroking my hair. Fear crept in. I began reciting words I read from the forum, “I am a sentient autonomous entity and I will you away from my being” over and over. The stroking stopped. I fell asleep. Then in the silence, a hiss, like the sound a pissed off cat makes. My heart was racing when I came to, I could feel menacing dread in the room, the little hairs all over my body were crackling with static. I knew I’d heard the hissing. Involuntarily I thought the words “release her and I am yours”. Then there was calm. I slept. Better that night than I had in months. Woke up at almost ten barely catching breakfast. Walked around town waiting for Jane to be done with her mom which she was around 1600 and then we drove back home. The nights after that were calm, quiet. Jane’s health sprang back. She was eating well, laughing, cooking like she used to. Everything was perfect except for one thing, the sex. We both didn’t want it. Eventually we both agreed to take a break from each other, got her a house stuffed it up an she moved. We’d meet up once in a while to do it but before long even that became redundant. So we started drifting apart.
I couldn’t be in that house any more so I moved as well. Then I met a cute Kamba girl whom we’ll call Liz. I wasn’t into dating but this girl was persistent. Anytime she’d get the chance she’d come crash at my place for days on end. I always assumed it was for the media cause I still wasn’t all that sexual. Months into our friendship she started getting clingy, demanding I recognize her as my legitimate girlfriend. She was a handful so I always said no, then it started, itching, all night I’d be scratching my whole body till I’d bleed. One night when the itching had gotten so bad I got up and went to the sitting room to do abit of Xbox. After abit I went to the kitchen to get some water and there Liz was standing there head tilted to the side not saying or doing anything. Her feet were apart and a polyethylene bag on the floor between them. Then she started to pee into the bag right there in the middle of the kitchen. “Liz are you okay?” I asked nervously, she looked up at me with this blank expression for a second then started convulsing, her hands moving all over her body like she was brushing off invisible cobwebs or ants or something. “Liz wtf, what is it?!” I asked. “It’s my grandfather” she replied still doing the hands thing. Scared out of my mind I grabbed and shook her, “stop it!” She stopped convulsing and turned walking past me into the bedroom her head still tilted to the side and got into bed. I didn’t sleep another wink that night. Next morning she had no idea wtf I was talking about. Every time I’d try to tell her what happened she’d tell me to shut up. At this point my health was in the pit from lack of sleep due to the rotten itching. Then one night when I got up as usual turning on the light I saw a little critter scrambling for cover under the pillow. Lifting it up, there they were, an infestation, bed fucking bugs. Hundreds of them. So this was why I was itching. I called the fumigator the next morning and had to move out for a few days. Then I could sleep again, then one night as I lay there I heard voices, coarse rough voices chanting something behind me. I tried to get up but I couldn’t move. I could feel my body, felt like it weighed tonnes but I couldn’t move. The voices kept on chanting louder and louder and just as suddenly as they had began they stopped. I could move. I wasn’t even sure if I was really awake or that was a dream, but it started happening almost every night. One night I had this very vivid dream of men in lab coats taking me and injecting an orange glittery liquid into my chest, my heart. Another dream was of the same men injecting something into my left arm right above the elbow, except in this instance I woke with a black spot where I saw them inject it. Under the spot is a hard mass, just under the skin about the size of a pea. Been there since and still there even now as I’m writing this.

The sleep paralysis had become a constant in my life, the feeling of fingers touching me as I slept. And headaches, debilitating recurring headaches. Sometimes I’d feel like a dog had jumped onto my bed, as soon as I’d break the paralysis and swing my arm to whack the fucker, nothing there. This continued for a while till I had to just go away. I sold my business and went to stay with my sister for a while. Spoke to a shrink who couldn’t understand how I’d be insane and aware of it. According to the psych a broken mind couldn’t tell it was broken so that meant I hadn’t lost it I just needed rest and to avoid stress. And I was at peace while there, but after a couple of months I started feeling like a leech and came back home. I had left Liz to house sit for me. She was ecstatic when I got back, like a wife welcoming her husband from a trip. I let her stay with me for about a year before I got sick of her and asked her to leave. The hauntings never stopped, in 2015 about November I think was the cataclysmic shift of my existence. I was out visiting a mate of mine, let’s call him Pete, we were having a joint outside his house when I noticed a figtree fullback of fruits. “Do you eat those?” I asked him. “Nah, not since we were kids” he said. See at this point I was already reassessing my atheist perspective, I believed mostly I was insane but had a handle on it. But also there may have been a chance that it was happening because my insanity logically shouldn’t affect other people’s reality. I remembered the story in the bible about Yeshua and the figtree and how he’d wanted fruit from it and when he got mad from not getting any he’d cursed it and dried it up.
Here they were, crimson ripe, if Yeshua liked them I figured they must be good. So I walked up to the tree and grabbed at one of the fruits. The minute I plucked it my hand was crawling with ants to my shoulder. A second ago there was nothing there and now they were everywhere, all over the tree, even crawling out the little hole left on the fruit after I pulled it from its stub. I never thought anything of it at the time I just brushed em off as they came, Pete just silently watching smoking the joint. I picked a second one and took them home with me to have with my salad. It tasted bland, not sweet not bad just a fruity tastelessness. I told myself that those hadn’t fully ripened and the next day I went back and picked more this time choosing the most Crimson I could find. Same routine with the salad. That morning out on a stroll I came across a kitten, it looked like it was in distress. It had an infection in one eye. It was meowing at me trying to come towards me but kept on falling. It’s like it was bumping into an invisible wall around me. That night thoughts tortured me telling me what a useless terrible waste of a being I was that I couldn’t even help a poor cat. At some point around midnight it felt like there was an override of my will, I started changing from my pjs, I had to go save that poor cat. All the while conflicting intents in my mind, some didn’t want me to others did. Then one loud instruction in my head said “Stop!” I took off my clothes put on my pjs again and sat down to watch tv.
the following day on my way to work on a quiet estate road I used as a shortcut around 1000 I saw them, eyes, it’s like my sight was overriden and all I could see were the eyes, brownish yellow disembodied eyes with black throbbing veins trailing into them. They looked sad I remember thinking. For those few seconds they were there I couldn’t see anything else, it’s just lucky the road was straight I never crashed. When the ‘attention lock’ was released and I was in normal space again I heard this scream in the distance, like the scream a dying pig makes when being slaughtered. Real as anything. Confused I just kept on driving, checking the rear view wondering wtf that was. Got to work fine that day. The following morning as I was driving to work getting into a roundabout I for some reason believed I could go through these two cars if I accelerated hard enough. The timing was perfect, as the first car passed I floored it, I turned to check the second car was still some distance off and as I turned again the idiot who was supposed to have gone past had come to a complete stop right in front of me. Too late to react I T-boned the shit out of him. Some cop showed up said it was my fault and told us tuskizane. Guy called his mechanic, gave a quote, 13 gs I think. I went to the atm got the cash and paid them and went on to work with my busted up ride. By evening my head was pounding. I got home and went to bed. Nightmares that night, also the voices were not next to my ear, they were in my head. “Useless piece of shit you are, the only reason you’re even alive is for you to suffer, God doesn’t care for you he hates you, why do you think he gave you to us?” “You’re ours now you useless piece of filth!” They went on and on like that for days, I was debilitated, all I could do was stay crouched up in my bed. All the while my head felt like it would split in two. This was it, my punishment for a rotten life I’d lived. The pounding in me head got worse, i was certain I was going to die. Finally I lay back stretched out my hand straight up with my palm open and said, “please help me.” Don’t know who I was talking to, I hoped it would be God who heard me. Just then in a matter of seconds my head stopped hurting. Then my phone rang, it was my sister. “What are you doing?” She asked. “I’m loosing my mind sis, God’s angry with me and he’s come to collect.” I sobbed barely coherent. “Shut up, those are not your thoughts. They’re trying to destroy you from within. God is listening, he’s always listening, pray. Recite psalms 23 over and over right now.” And then she hanged up. I didn’t have a bible so I googled it and started reading it out loud. Over and over. The more I read the more the voices in my head started going quiet. Then a new voice became audible, a deep electronic voice sort of robotic, over and over it kept saying “I curse you Satan, I curse you Satan, I banish and bind you to the pits you belong.” It kept on repeating those words till I couldn’t hear or feel the thoughts in my head anymore. I could finally think, my mind was quiet again. I slept. At 0400 I just couldn’t sleep anymore, it was too hot. I needed some cold on me. I got up and went outside. Looking up at the stars I noticed these two huge balls of light up in the sky, weird looking stars I remember thinking, then the feeling of being watched. Then right before my eyes they dimmed out and disappeared. I’m hungry I remember thinking. Raided the fridge, don’t remember what I had. After breakfast I started cleaning, the sitting, kitchen bathroom bedroom, I even washed the balcony which I never do. All the while my brain felt like it was warping or some shit like that, then understanding, it’s the only way I can describe it cause saying I was spoken to wouldn’t really give you the idea. It’s like every question I thought of would immediately be replaced with knowing of the answer, and not just the answer, fundamentals of the reality the answer was based upon. Anything from biomechanics to food recipes to etheric sciences… I just knew stuff. There was something there with me, in me and around me. I want to say it was God but I don’t believe I’m that important. What I know is whatever it was it was from Him. I learned, I saw, for days it was in my mind, it showed me what they are, what they do, why they do the things they do. I passed by Pete’s to have a look at that miserable tree an there it was, all dried up full of cobwebs. Like it had been dried up for years but the fruits were still on it. Pete saw it too and now stays clear of me. Doesn’t even pick my calls. The one thing, statement from this event I remember clearly was “this reality is a lie.” I understood that the sky is blue because of an ocean above the translucent dome covering our world. I understood that form is made of these little particles darting around the place weaving all of reality together, that the nonsense gravity was electromagnetic energy going through us into the ground. That sound is the creative force used to make reality. That stars are living beings. It was overwhelming, I could feel my psyche overloading, begin to crumble and fall apart. And then it stopped. I had my mind back, I was stupid again. Then came despair. I have never felt as alone as I did the moment the force left me. I was burning out with it but I didn’t care, I wanted it back. I couldn’t live another day without it, after knowing it, being one with it. I started to pray, everyday I prayed dozens of times. I begged God to send it back, but the truth is I couldn’t handle it and he knew it. Even today, a year and a half later, I still miss it terribly. I feel so stupid everyday when I remember what it felt like. I guess whatever it was it had done its job, I now know how to defend myself from the dark ones, the principalities of corruption. I’m still a weak feeble human with depravities and impressionable but atleast I now know, the Creator is here, close to us always watching, listening, saving us even from ourselves. His providence is all around us. But most of all I know that I love him, not because he rescued me from them, not because I live a relatively comfortable life now, I love him because it is my design, it is my only purpose to exist, to know and love him.
I now live a modest life in a modest neighborhood, my flat is haunted, the traditional way, lights flickering on when they’re off, things moving, the whispers are gone thank The Creator for that, the two houses across from mine have been mostly empty since I moved in. Any new tenants that move in never last more than a month. The last one left barely two weeks after they moved in. I think it’s cause they didn’t have kids, the families that have kids seem just fine. Someone new has moved in. Just noticed yesterday curtains have been put up. Waiting to see how long they’ll last. A couple of weeks ago Liz came to visit, she’s insisted in the past she’s atheist, but after the night she had I don’t think so. She kinda got pissed at me for not getting her off, it’s been a while and I’m out of practice, so she went to sleep on the couch. She woke me later telling me something was touching her all over, crushing on her chest, her heart felt like it was being squeezed in there. And she couldn’t move. I found it hilarious. Poor girl was petrified. The bad ones still try to play their stupid tricks but I know how to defend myself now and I am not afraid of them anymore. Once in a while when I start to loose my way the force from that day finds a way to remind me that it’s all just a lie. I know that I will never really be rid of them but I am safe, the Creator affords me this safety.
Also my sister has no memory of calling me that day, or a bunch of other times when she’d be telling me details about my circumstances she couldn’t possibly know about. Once I tried to tell her of what was happening. She had just told me of a dream she’d had that was about the stuff happening to me. Freaking out I was about to tell her everything, “siz you’re gonna think I’m nuts,” I said. "Just say it " she’d insisted. “Okay,” I said, “I have been…” click. The line went dead. I never did tell her what I wanted to say.

So that is my story, as I said before my intention is to just tell it to someone, whether you believe it or not doesn’t matter as long as it’s out there. Hello dear reader, my name is Haniafu, and I’m an empath. I think. And I now know how to make ugali.

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So much text. Could not finish.

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Is there an axam after this and thereafter a graduation with certificates:rolleyes:

Wow we live in an interesting world

intresting!!!

Okay, good stuff, long, but too much westernized form of writing, sounds like an extract from a thriller book by this jungus

If ugali requires such a hekaya ,na ikiwa ni marinated chicken ? cc @Gio

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