How I evaded a well choreographed trap

Jana being an Arsenal match day nimefika my local kuona ball, a small joint in Nakuru Langa Langa called Eclipse. When I arrived there was a middle aged man who looked like wale wakoraa wa ghetto and was being restrained from visiting the ladies washrooms by a waiter. It later emerged that ninja had brought drinks for a Kunguru and proceeded to book a room then dem aka kata. When the nigger insisted, chiq took refuge in the washroom na akajifungua. Jamaa na ughetto yake akaona kama mbaya mbaya and was almost breaking the door ndo waiter aka intervene. After sometime dem akatoka washroom with another short plump chick who had a nice ass. The girl who had allegedly conned the nigger of his hard earned cash was a brown skin and would give at most a six. Jamaa akajaribu kupush agenda ya kumfunga dem aka anza ku act victim na machozi. Bouncer and other men came to her rescue ikabidi ninja ameuguza blue balls.
From my sitting position I could hear the short plump girl who I would also give a 6/10 rating. She was very vocal and making brags that were utter lies. Me and my boys passed her to be an attention seeking slay queen. Game ya Arsenal imeingia deep in the second half, we are pushing for a winning goal and the concentration was deep. I didn’t see the slay queen moving towards my direction then she sat in the chair next to me. Nika mu ignore for kama three straight minutes making her uncomfortable. Then nikamu uliza “umepotea?”. Aka anza kuoungea very many things at once, telling me she wants to sleep, asking me atalala wapi? and asking me in Wanga accent “Ariena”. I tried to engage her in Luhya but she couldn’t go past that word then claimed ye ni mluhya mtaita. Kiasi akanilalia kwa lap seeming dead drunk. My ninjas were like umepata kitoweo buda, make it rain. All along my instincts zika kata & if there is anything I never want to disagree with when dealing with strangers it’s my instincts. All this time mzee abdala has refused to acknowledge potential prey, nkajua her motive is sinister and immediately switched on alert mode to facilitate my 6th sense. After kitu kama 3 minutes she started talking with my immediate neighbor who encouraged me “kumchota”. I told him blatantly “sitaki kuamka kesho at the same time in a hall”. Dem kuskia hivyo aka kaa chini kwa floor. She then starting claiming anataka mtu wa kusaidia her son and other things that didn’t make sense. We decided to concentrate on the game coz we were almost losing two crucial points. When she realized we were not paying attention to her, akapitia chini ya kiti to the get to the guy who was a bit older and was formally dressed. Huyo msee kuona hivyo akaita bouncer na dem akatupwa nje. Ile ninja ilikuwa imekuwa condemned to blue balls in the first scene alizua wakati aliona anatolewa nje na akamfuata nje before returning after a short while.
After dem ametoka we started discussing her conduct and concluded she had a sinister motive. One she was acting drunk and a luhya imposter to fool our judgment about her. The acting Luhya was to fool us since its known that pishori is synonymous with shiny eyes. Second she was an accomplice to the ghetto riff-raff who was condemned to blue balls and all the drama from the beginning was to fool us into believing they were not together. So plot ilikuwa I get guided by the small head to take her home, niwekewe mchele then nizime and she calls her backup to do the clearing and forwarding. Just after ame enda we managed to squeeze the three points out of Burney courtesy of a late penalty ending the day on a high, double wins. Kuhepa mchele na Burnley.


Atleast ungeshika matiti na rasa kwanza and do her before she did you. Story ni kupreempt hizi vitu na kujinice kwanza ama aje mzito @Ice_Cube


haha Jaro Soja you wanna pat a lioness? bado itaenda na vidole hata kama haitakumaliza


Hiyo sector silali darasa. matako nlishika, matiti nlishika but all in all mjulungbeng amekataa. Na sio ati ni dem amebeat

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Angeshika shika kiasi…ajifanye anaenda kuingia box but is not totally convinced kuingia ndio dame ajiwachilie even more aitikie kushikwa shikwa even more (gather enough material to wank later) alafu ajitoe mwishowe


hapo uliponea sana, hata mimi sikua nimeona vile hiyo game ilikua inachezwa till your last few sentences. So that show was to elicit sympathy and trick some gullible fisi into thinking imeangukia where it has not sowed kumbe ni yeye ameangukiwa


Aah swafi basi!

yenyewe angerusha ma finger na ku explore shida sasa kama mjulubeng angeamka in the process aanze ku entertain thoughts za kucheza Russian Roulete


she had spotted vulnerability in me likewise I had spotted her trap and we ended up setting our bars higher


precaution is my first priority when dealing with strangers


you have to give it to shiny eyes for trying, kuna a friend of mine he was at the Uganda border anasema lazima akamue a Ugandan the chick received a call nje jamaa akaskia dem akiongea kisapere


Lakini thank arsenal for keeping you on the edge of your seat thus making your mind focus on more important matters. Mngekua 3-0 up ungekua party mood uruke kwa shimo head first :smiley:



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:D:D:D rudisha handle ya ruffneck . wenger ni umbwa sanaaa .

@WuTang = @Ice_Cube

@Ruffneck = @Ice_Cube

@Liberty = @The.Black.Templar

@Nattydread = @Atwoli


Hekaya sawa. Paragraphs ni muhimu wa ingho.

Ogopa Mungu, Njaa na shiny eyes

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@uwesmake = @Phenomenal Woman = @Angeline Anyango


mbukusu ya ocha wacha kusumbua, mimi hapana ruffneck


@uwesmake == @Andrew Kibe


@uwesmake =gay