https://www.kenyatalk.com/index.php?threads/hotel-receptionist.91934/
i tried a one liner on a hotel receptionist once.
nilimuambiakho ati “ni baridi sana. si uniongezee blangeti… ama pia kama unajua njia ingine ya kupea mtu joto ni sawa.”
akacheka tu “aki wewe…”
video assistant Referee akasema play on.
akaandika number yake nyuma ya receipt na kunipea.
asubuhi nikampata kwa front desk.
“usiku ilikuwa baridi sana”
“usijali… leo usiku haitakuwa baridi hivyo”
nikashangaa nimepewa invitation to the grand opening kimala mala tu.
nikaanza small talk za ufala hapo. i even enabled auto time update kwa simu yake (a counterfeit beat-up tecno) yenye ilikuwa ikilose time ovyo ovyo.
hiyo siku nilichapa kazi yenye ilikuwa imenipeleka huko kama mwenda, mpaka nachukuwa makazi za team members nazing’aria. Hadi wakauliza kama mshahara ni fixed rate ama on commission.
Pre-nut focus
1830h nikatwanga simu “sasa leo utacome tushughulikie baridi?”
“sawa”
“ni room B03”
“Najua. si ni mimi ndio nilikuregister”( i booked 4 nights nikapewa a discount + someone to wash clothes)
“oooh… hehe by the way. ok sawa”
nikaingia hoteli 1849h nikapata manager kwa front desk akicheza playstation.
“Cele ameingia?”
“bado. Anafaa kuja six thirty anirelease sijui mbona amechelewa”
kidogo, hotel owner akatokelezea na kilanye kizee. Looks OK but sura na mikono inaonyesha uzee.
“habari yako kijana?”
Both manager and I tukajibu in unison kama mafala. kumbe alikuwa anagotea manager.
“cele ako wapi?”
“bado hajaingia”
“anacheza na kazi?”
akachukua key ya room yake na kujipa shughuli.
lanye mwingine sampuli ya wale wa goodhope akaingia na mteja alikuwa amelewa chakari. wakachukua key na kuishia.
manager anasema nonchalantly “huyo ni kama amewekewa mchele anaenda kuporwa”
hapo ndio pre nut jitters ikaingia. nikadhania cele anaenda kunifanyia the same.
hapo ndio msee hukumbuka vile asubuhi alikuwa akifanya data entry za questionnaires za wasee wako na AIDS. Unasikia ni kama commentator wa FIFA anaongelea AIDS.
Ama wasee ni wachache hii hoteli juu watu huporwa kiplani? and management condones it?
Unaanza kurecall kama Cele alikuwa akionyesha symptoms za early onset. Alikuwa akijikuna elbow sana…
“brathe! umezubaa nini?”
“ooh! eeeh?”
“imefika 7 30 na hajakuja bado? na penye na stay wananyonganga wasee usiku.”
akawachia watchman keys na kujikata.
I also followed suit na kuingia room kuwatch series kwa simu.
At 2352h SMS ikaingia.
“niko kwa mlango”
Ai! nikaona hapa niko kwa naswa nikalenga. mlango ikibishwa.
nikajua hapa sasa, Cele amekuja na wasee wa nduthi wanikate shingo waniibie simu.
Nikaona hio ni irrational, nikaamua kufungua.
Alikuwa ameweka blowout na amevaa skirt suit ya kitenge. Amekaa tofauti nikachanganyikiwa nikasema “Welcome” and immediately cringed mpaka akafikiria nimejiuma.
Small talk na kudara kiasi. No kissing. Ain’t nobody got time for swallowing msee wa nduthi semen.
Nikamshika upside down kama bully mwenye anatafuta loose coins
https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2016/04/19/22/13/shakedown-1340048_960_720.png
na kupeel skirt kama mwenye anapeel ndizi.
Ngotha yake looked and smelled (I know i’m setting myself up for a sweep) new. nikahook vidole na kuchomoa hio kitu na kuirusha chini na kuchapa chapa clit na msendez, kuingisha na kisha kumwaga ndani after a respectable ammount of time.
Akafungua zip ya skirt na kuichomoa over the head
“hii nitarudi kuvaa”
akafunga towel na kupanua mguu na
kushika senyeste through the towel. I made a mental note to never use taulo ya lodging. Akachukua skirt na kuenda
“narudi saa hii”.
After a short while, akarudi kama ananuka sabuni ya lodging
“kwani umeoga na maji baridi?”
“apana. tuko na instant shower kwa room”
i thought atalala ndethe but akaingia na kitenge yake.
“unaogopa nini? si unishike?”
hapa lazima nijitoe kwa hio story ya cuddling liwe liwalo, juu chini, kwa amani au kwa vita, kwa ghafla bin vuu, kwa udi na umbani.
I know that we all know that cuddling is for losers and zeta-male yes-men who don’t like disappointing others, and do anything, even to the detriment of either their reputation or well-being to gain others’ approval.
/**************************/
So, baada ya ku cuddle for a bit, akaanza kung’orota. Nikapenduka pia mimi nilale.
Kidogo, main door ikafunguliwa.
“Cele! Cele! … Ai! kwani ako wapi?”
I assumed ni wateja wanataka room.
Nikasikia jamaa na sauti kubwa “kuna mtu B03? hiyo ndio tunatafuta”
kusikia hivyo, nikaona hii ni set up nimeingizwa. Huyo ni ‘bwana’ ya cele amekuja na wasee wa nduthi kunitoza faini au kunikata markende juu ya kunyemelea bibi za wenyewe.
Saa hio huwezi ng’oa mguu ya bed ndio utumie kama weapon, juu bed ni some weird cement platform alafu iko na ile mbao ya aeration chini ya mattress.
Heri kufungua Google map na kuchomoka teke teke uone penye unaezaenda kujificha.
Kabla nianze mbio, nikajiuliza kama niwekele cele two good ngotos juu ya kuniseti . While i was contemplating, jamaa mwingine akasema “kwani umesahau? sio B03 ndio iko na maji moto. Ni B04 ndio iko nayo”
relief ikaniingia ingawa magoti ilikuwa ikitetemeka like a nonsense my guy.Nikajukunja kwa bed na kufunga macho mpaka kuamuka 0553h to an empty bed, although Simu na wallet bado zko.
Kufika front desk, napatana na Cele. Venye tuko kwa small talk, night watchman akacome na doh za wale wasee wenye waliingia 2am wakitafuta room.
manager naye akafuata na kuuliza kama iko mwenye aliingia usiku. akapewa doh na marisiti akaishia.
Nikashangaa jamaa ameingia job 6 na kwao wananyonganga watu kwa giza, kumbe hata hakuishia home.
alibaki kwa room na kudinya cook(female cook) overnight.
Tukapanda stairs, cook akatupikia brekko. Nikalipa alafu change ya 780 nikawaachia cele na kumshow tutaongea baadaye. Akaingisha doh kwa bra, nami nikajikata kuenda kujaza questionnaires za watu wa AIDS
