Honeymoon before marriage

001 is an amazing county. Tembelea jiji na tafasali kama unatoka kisii, ama kokote kule bara,usije na kiswahili chako malenge huku trying to immitate the swahilis. The natives here have drank enough of salty ocean water to add flavour into each sentence they vommit. Quite bold and enough to knock down your dumbass crooked and rugged croaks from your mouth down your throat until you choke on them. Huo ni opus. Utajihaibisha bure. Anyway, Swahilis are very friendly and welcoming. They aren’t hostile as u think.

Wewe tembea ukunywe maji ya madafu, kula nazi, pigwa picha Kwa pembe za ndovu pale moi avenue. Hapo next kuna a very beautiful Uhuru gardens. Tembeza rafiki au watu wako hapo. Kama ni malair ya bara au nrb wacha ipige maselfie za instagram na snapchat. Kutembea kwingi kuona mengi. Aliyesema kuishi kwingi just lied.

Ingia hapo Casablanca nyonya ile chupa unapenda na uchunge slices za Hapo. By the way Pasta wetu aliingia hapo na pesa ya gari ya kanisa. Ilimalysia kidesign illuminated. Na vile tulichanga hiyo doo haki. Nitawaletea hiyo hekaya. fika pale likoni. Enjoy crossing on a ferry. Hapo likoni juu itisha aina yeyote wa samaki, juice ya ukwaju ni mbao tu. Enjoy a ride by tuktuk towards shelly beach. Oga na mchanga wa baharini. Collect some sea shells there. Rudi town utembee old 001 uone manyumba za enzi ya ancestors wako. fort Jesus, vasco da gamma pillar and much more. fika nyali bridge. Go towards nyali beach, Kenyatta public beach or even Pirates beach at Mtwapa.

Ask for mnazi(fombe always served in that mzinga of bluemoon ama Kenya cane plus “mboko”
and a straw.) Mboko ni kachupa kadogo capacity ya ile water glass. Mnazi is a nice pure fombe harvested directly from minazi trees. Lakini hii liquor hunuka meffi. This place is incredibly awesome and beautiful. Visit and thank Captain later.

Kama hujamaliza ya Kaisari tembea pale Tudor.
Kuna hii base inaitwa Tudor Water Sports. Walami na wakenya adventurous kama mimi hukam hapa kujiburudisha. I remember kuna jamaa aliandika hekaya bibi yake alimalysia na mjerumani hii base akarudi after 6yrs.

As a captain i like riding over the waters using motor driven water bikes. Pale Tudor zipo.

From Mombasa rd around junction ya Makupa. Turn towards Tom mboya rd upite chrch ya pcea then stage ya Kaa Chojo next ni mtaa wa Tudor. On your way to Mombasa Technical University kuna St Augustine preparatory school next like 200m utapata on the left Tudor Water Sports.

Sasa huku kwa Hoho niko na neiba beshte anaitwa Ken. A very charming, social and well outspoken guy. He’s one of those Mr Right every chick dreams of. Tall dark and awesome. He has nice haircut and an excellent swimming complexion. He loves those tight tops thats leaves his “unitary” pack from chest to abdomen exposed plus that kijeshi short esp on weekends. Hes not much masculined but any serious garagaria that has ‘discoved’ herself can feel much secure under his forelimbs. He loves swimming. He is around 30.

Now, Ken has a good white colar hustle. He recently purchased a braryfakin black Toyota crown athlete worth 4point9five zero digits.

There is this joint called Makande frequented by white haired pot bellied KPA grandpas to quench their deadly thirst. We usually meet here with Ken to enjoy some Rhumba then futa esp on weekends. Though we felt odd amidst these homosapiens, KPLC decided to 'show us news and lefted itself". Black out. Our Saturday afty had been forcifully made boring. We decided go do some swimming. Good idea to kill time.

"Wapi karibu." Obvious Tudor water Sports. Ken akanishow hii base unaweza pata slices rahisi. Since nilikuwa dryspell kwa muda nikaona its a good idea.

Ile taswira nilichora ni ya wale maslice hudancia Diamond Salome. Totoise blessed with very very juicy seatpots. Hawa waswahili huwa wameubwa kweli.
To spice up our picknique we had to carry macans pilsner na Guinness take-away. Plus makonkod incase tupate slice. Tools of work. We go to war armed.

Captain turned into a pilot. I sat behind the steering. In a blink of an eye tulikuwa pale water sports. tukapewa charges za boats tofauti kisha tukachagua Base boat. sisi hao ndani ya maji. Boats ni kibao na hakukuwa watu wengi. Ken akanishow ni vile tumekam mapema. In one or 2 hrs watu watakuwa wamejaa.

Ndani ya base boat kila mtu ni kadere. It has a capacity of two. kila side iko na pedals kama za baiskeli.

Kando na sisi like 50m from the shores walikuwa wavuvi wawili na kiboat cha mbao tukawaacha wacross.

Huko mbele yetu kiasi couple ya wazungu na baseboat pia. Jamaa mmoja naye alikuwa anachapa maji na motor powered bike. Tukasonga ndani tu kwa maji tukipita katikati ya boats zingine na watu tofauti tofauti. Wengine mashosh wazungu na vijana. Madame wengine wawili na kamzee kamlami kwa maji walikuwa wakiswim. Hao labda walikuwa wananyanduana underwater. Unapyseal.

Tukaendelea kujiburudisha na macans zetu though tulikuwa tumekatazwa kuingia nazo pale. Tukangoja tu maslice za kuchokoza. Mastory nazo zikaanza kubamba. Sasa ken ananipea story ya dem fulani anamstress.

Ken ni wale majamaa huwa na metallic voice. Akanishow dem wake ako job nrb na anataka kusare hiyo waks ajilete 001. Ken though ako job poa anawes manage hata kama ni “kuexchange hands” anywhere huyu dem aget job ingine. Shida ni kuwa anafeel hayuko ready kumove in. Its like kuna some elements of a relationship zinakosa kwa mapenzi yao.

I decided to help as we wait for any potential slice. Githaa ikasonga tu huku mafisi in waiting wakirelax. Its around 3pm.
[I]
Me: Ken kila relationship sharti ikuwe na five elements that determine weather uko in a serious one ama mnapotezeana wakati. Bladder ni kuingia kwa marriage when these five are out.

Ken; Unamaanisha?

Me: If something isn’t working in a relationship, even in marriage haiwes work. First kuna Attraction, Interest, SPR affiliations Kuna Intimacy, mwisho ni Chemistry. Lemmi explain.[/I]

Kidogo nikaskia kurusugushu ku! boat yetu ikagongwa from behind. “Hey sorry guys sorry sorry!!” Kumbe ni tufislet tuwili twa kichinku. Time to throw the bait. Rule number seven ya mafisi Commandments.

(Dont judge a fisilet by its skin, colour, race, age or origin. If its too Bifwolid, close your eyes and fire the base)

Hii hata kama ni ya kichina lazima ningechokoza niguthe urur. I like trying things out. Hakuna kutambua ni ya kichinku ama ni ya kihindi. Vybes za ufisi nikapanga faster faster. Unaona ukiwa dryspell vile unakuwanga aggressive.

[I]Me: We are okay. We are just fine. Your boat is leaking. Join us before u drown. ( I lied)

Ken:([/I]akainturrupt) "Ni hao piaoliang de nushìmen ma. Women kěyi hé ni zài yiqi ma.

Kumbe ken alikuwa amesoma kichinku sasa alikuwa anawauliza.(how are you beautiful ladies. Can we join you there)

Waliposkia kichinku kamoja kakasema.

" Women de nan peng you zhengzai yong zhè tiáo dàchuán la women. Bye bye buddies.
Ken; Mei wèntí. Women yeshì nanrén.

(Wakawave bye wakichomoka.)

Me: (
pissed off[I]) Ken unaachilia nyama nikiwa hapa na ubambe wako wa kichinku. Kwani umeomba ikus moja kwa moja. Ulienda chuo kuuza thong ama ulikojolea doh za fee. Bure kabisa.

Ken: Hey. Calm down. Wamesema boyfriends wao wanawavuta na ile boat kubwa huoni. Najaribu kuwashow ata sisi ni wanaume buana.[/I]

Nyake zilienda hivyo tu. Tulitolewa kwa mdomo. Waikiumbuka iri mbute. (Our birds flied featherless),. Tukajipea hopes wengine watakam. Mawaidha ikaendelea.

[I]Me: oooh. I was saying Attraction. You can be attracted to anything. Be it clothes, cars, a good house, or even a kid. Umewahi ona katoto kadogo kasupu mpaka unaskia kukapiga kiss. Or a beatiful car just like that toyota crown new shape model you just bought. Ama nyumba poa ama anything. Rem this must be a two way traffick. Look at your girlfriend. Are you attracted to one another.

Ken: I see. She is beautiful. She has everything i need. In short she’s my angel. But sijui kama ananipenda ile true.

Me: Kuna Interest. Ukiona kitu attractive unapata interest. Kama vile tu nimekushow. Kuna Madem na machali wengi attractive. Just the way u got interested kudrive ile dae yako…kama ni kuishi hao smart…or else kuwa na dem ama chali mpoa. Unapata interest ile viserious. Hiyo element kama iko. Go for her?

Ken: Hizi maslices leo tutaget bradha. Cheki watu wameanza kuwa mob. Go on.

Me: Haya SPR affiliations inamaanisha. Sociol Political and Religious elements. Unacheki background yake na yako kama inaweza skizana. Dini. labda yeye ni Budhist na wewe ni m-Artheist ama pagan. Then ucheki ako Jubilated ama ako ndaani ya NASA. Unaeza mpeleka kwenu asikuwe comfortable all she wants to hear around ni story za Tinga(Joshua) na caleb, ama story za unye pekee ama za church tu. Anaweza turn kuwa corinthian uskiange madrums ama ngwataniro(communal prayers) kwako kila time. Ni vibaya sana kama couple haiskizani hapa. Pia kuna…

Ken: Unajua nikimuoa Mimi ndiye kusema.

Me: Sawa. sasa intimacy inadepend na efforts zako ki mwanaume. U need to keep yourselves open to one another.Even without embarrasment you should be able to share anything including phone passwords, bank transactions or open to try anything crazy without fear. Wife anafaa kuwa open kwako pia sio kwa watu wengine. Its all about trust. Opennes improves sexual intimacy. trying kitu kama anal sex na wife that is intimacy. Meaning you are too close to one another. If she can go down on you without being embarrassed or you go down there to suck her poosay bila shame simply means you are more intimate to each.

Ken: Hahah. Ati going anal. Captain wimuguruki.(you are mad)
Me: No way. Ken is out of sanity. Si umeachilia madem hapa tu saa hii. Kwanza hao machinku ndio hupenda mcooudu. Mwisho ni chemistry. Chemistry is just bonding. The actual mating. Hapa jielezee. Itadepend na experience yako ama how long you can satisfy her. Kama mashine ni yako ni tractor za kugurumisha na wire ole wako my fren…huyo msupa wako akikosa hizi hapa 001 hutamuona.[/I]

FFWD:
Kitu 5pm tulikuwa tumechoka kuswim, kuride,…na nikapata slice ya kispanish. Dem design ya sidika. Kalikuwa na blue eyes na plastic nose. Figure ni ya Liliun Muli. She has been in Kenya for one year now working with an environmental NGO. Ken na ujinga wake woote wa UoN, gari mzuri na pesa hata mzoga hakuget. I assumed it was intentional.

We left Tudor then drove past Mombasa technical University along the same Tom mboya rd towards Ndarajani then connected Nyali rd. We spent our night at Nyali. Sema kukamuana usiku kucha. Kenyan spanish style. Nikianza kueleza wat transpired here itakuwa movie. Just know tulifika threshold. I pitied Ken alidoz lodgoh kama amehug pillows.

Sunday morning slice ilikuwa na doh kuruka. She catered for everything even breakfast. Akatuwekea gari full tank and suggested tukatembee south coast. Alafu hiyo NGO yao imerent nyumba ndiani. Huko ndo kana park

Ken kadere Captain na slice nyuma. Like a couple in honeymoon. Crown ikatembea hadi ukunda huko Ndiani. We spent our sunday there. Unfortunitely hatungekaa na haka kamhispania forever. We had enough fun. Quite lots of excitement and a good experience of new adventures. At 18hrs i was very tired
We had to part. We hugged, we kissed and waved goodbye.

We left towards home. This time round hatukuongea sana na ken hadi ‘home’. Giza ilikuwa ishaaingia. Sasa Tunakaa na Ken apartment moja. Mimi niko 2ndfloor ken ako 3rd. Akaniuliza.

“Sasa zile five elements zako. Attraction, Interest, social political and religious whatever intimacy na Chemistry…si unaweza pata madem wawili ama chali kama mimi na wewe with all the above elements?.”

Nilifungua mlango kwangu mbio na nikafungia ken nje. Sasa nilikaa kwa kiti nikijaribu kufikiria ken anamaanisha nini. Sikupata jibu.

Hiyo Chemistry kwanza ati jamaa anakuingia mcoondu jameni. Atleast malessy hutumia dildos ama ata finger.

Watu wa Mungu. Kwani ken anatafuta njia ya kunipiga kuni manyungurus ama?

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Boss this is torture, summary hukuanga muhimu. Just delve in to the main story. Kuanga serious saa zingine

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Aaai…uncle @vuja de kuom kiasi…sijui hii yoote tusome ama nini

Very overated place

[ATTACH=full]101116[/ATTACH]

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http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/566/602/534.gif

Shocking this is that i read this whole thing!

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Good hekaya but your description of a fellow man is not straight… from his body, voice:eek::eek::eek:… had me questioning your sexual affiliation… why not talk about the bodies n assess of the Chinese girls? or more about that phantom Spaniard girl??

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Nefa efa. By the time namaliza kusoma, weekend itakuwa imeisha

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kwani hujui @tommy le sparta huwa shoga?

:D:D:D

Hekaya iko sawa, One of my fave Ktalk authors. wachana na hawa wankers wa kulia too long

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Excellent hekaya captain284

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Enyewe amigo it could be nice hekaya but some of us can’t stand too long read . Our concentration span is so limited with much going on.

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Hekaya iko fiti.

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fuck sijasomA kama kuna msamaria mwema anaeza sema kenye ndugu yetu anasema kwa ufupi

sasa tuletee description ya movie ukikamua muspanyola

Watu wa Mungu. Kwani ken anatafuta njia ya kunipiga kuni manyungurus ama?

:D:D:D:D:p

Hii maneno ya manyungurus naona parapanda ikilia watu watasaga meno sana

hehehe