A friend of mine (trully asking for a friend) is a single mum. She has a beautiful 5 year old baby girl. She has a boyfriend who isnt the father of the little angel. This boyfie want to marry her under one condition. He meets the biological dad of her kid and talk it out with him that he (the biological dad) will forever hold his peace and will NEVER come near his daughter after he tied the knot with the mum.
My friend is hesitant coz she believes that the kid should make that decision when she reaches 18 years of meeting the real dad or not.
Swali to blue handles here —> Why wouldnt you not ever want to see the father of your adopted kid? Why is it soo hard to have a kid in your house sired by another man? Isnt it selfish for this man to cut the blood ties of a father and daughter?
Maoni tafasari!
Lions kill cubs of lionesses of new conquered prides, there are similarities. I have a buddy and your story is similar in so many ways. The baby daddy have been using the small boy to demean him, he is not even called ‘dad’ but by his second name.
NEVER EVER MARRY A WOMAN WITH ANOTHER MANS KID. Even lions when they concure the pride of another male they kill all the kids and bring in their own. Then no woman will accept another womans kids in her family so why should men accept?
It’s all about the African culture, men tend to see women who have born them children as their’s to keep forever. And when a new man comes in to her life even when they are no speaking terms atamuona kama intruder tu. They feel the need to protect their possessions ndio wasiambiwe wanalelewa mtoto na mwanaume mwingine.I do not believe this personally lakini haya maisha ni kujipa raha mwenyewe, if the two of them can not be civil about it then sioni kwanini mimi nijihusishe nao. I hate drama IRL na siwezi ishi maisha ya kushinda nikibishana na mtu kuhusu mtoto wake… juu no matter what, the mother hawezi cut all ties with the biological father unless he is an absolute monster.
Tell your friend to negotiate a way which the biological father can be seing the child once in a while juu hata mimi siwezi kubali nikose kuona mtoto wangu hata kama hatuelewani na mamake.
People are born as individuals and sex education (family planning) is all over the place mpaka watoto wa primary wanafunzwa so mwanamke akienda kupanua miguu akijua hakuna CD ama morning after… asijifanye victim hapa.
it always that complex.
tell your friend that solange will be a bone of contention between the two fathers.
she can only have one father(in a family set up).
the bond between the biological father and the kid should be cut as early as possible(it is of no use to the kid) and she should start bonding with the foster dad.
his real dad was a sperm donor
Personally i preffer marrying a single mum,then i’ll make sure we dont have any kids together. Incase it doesnt work out,she wont use the kid as leverage or to extort me since that kid isnt my responsibilty as i am not the dad
Wewe uanjindanganya. Maybe you do a prenup then you will not be responsible but if you start taking care of the bastard for some time then you will do so until it gets to 18 years