Homeward-bound

My father is a mean, old, grumpy mister. Nobody likes being around him –not even my mother. He does not drink or smoke –he despises drinkers and smokers. He believes he’s always right and does not tolerate mistakes. My childhood memories is full of endless insults, scolding and caning by the old man; sometimes from simple things as coughing during news broadcast. Now in old age, almost eighty years, he sits on his favourite chair by the window, next to his pile of newspapers, lonely and alone. This man has such a vile temper and unpleasant personality, as soon as any of his children was able to support themselves they left each promising to never come back. I, being the lastborn, witnessed it all. To me he is a lesson of how not to live my life.

I haven’t talked to my father in years. Just like all my siblings, my last conversation with him was a temper filled, emotional beat down. He’s a kind of man you cannot tolerate forever and knows what buttons to press to really get to you… and he never apologises because he’s never wrong.

This Father’s Day bs got me thinking. Right now, am sitting in a ma3 along Busia – Kisumu road, heading back to my home town. [ATTACH=full]45125[/ATTACH] I would be lying if I said am not terrified of meeting this old man. I am going back to try to reconnect with him. I have no idea what to say to him.

This will either be a long wierd week or a very short disappointing day.

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all the best man.

Is that why you call yourself @TerribleWaste ?

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Waah!!! that’s sad I pray & hop everything goes according to plan…have a blessed day.

[SIZE=4]The poorest way to face life is to face it with a sneer. I just pray that you didn’t pick any of those undesirable traits from your old man but remember at the end of the day that he’s your dad despite all his flaws and warts. Maybe the way he treats his kids is the best he knows how to.[/SIZE]

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Its a good thing to give him another chance brother.

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all the best man but this is too sad

WOTE TULIZALIWA 80’S MAMBUYU WALIKUWA HIVO , before the age of 10 KWANZA MIMI NILIKUWA NASKIA ‘UWES’ na reply ‘YES PAPA’ kama nimetoka bolt mpaka pahali ako hata kama ni juu ya ceiling board . itwa mara mbili bila ku appear uone vita utakutwa . the only refuge ukionwa vita ni kuenda kujificha nyuma ya madhe .

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I’ll challenge you son. I would like you to objectively look at the people who followed your father’s advice and prescriptions on life. I am willing to bet wako mbali in life. We call that a regimen. Survive a regimen and trust you me utaenda mbali in life. Regimens operate to harden us and prepare us for what life throws at us. It is more like living in a military camp.
Why do you think majority ya wale walipitia NYS before proceeding to campus are very successful in what they are doing now? Ama wale walikuwa jeshi ama police then resigned to pursue other interests.
Make peace with your dad. he meant well for you guys.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z1aRS1kY6CA

really sad! I give my kids the best of everything because I know how having a know it all, vile and hot tempered dad feels like. I remember loosing my bro in 2009 and learning that they had an argument the previous night and my dad in his temper told him he can die if he wanted to! true to his word, my bro never woke up the next morning.
take it easy @TerribleWaste and learn to let go.

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No. That’s not it.

Sio uongo. Mine was feared even by the neighbours and their kids.

My father wasn’t big on advice. More like insults and pulling your hair when you do something that ticks him off and there’s nothing nearby that can inflict more pain. I do not hate him though. He is what he is. Maybe he did not know how to show love or had other hard issues in his head.

Tragic. Sorry to hear that. I have learnt to let things go.

It can really be difficult but remember this could have been caused by his upbringing in his childhood too and probably he still feels he has made it because of the under goings back then. people too are different I terms of behavior that’s why we have psychopaths to which that’s their nature and nothing can change them. the little thing you can do is create peace with him and appreciate him as long as he will be living. I lost my dad years back and I really miss him especially if I meet someone who resembles him or an elderly man of such an age , how I would have liked him to meet his grand son that I named after him soon after his demise . Am sure now you know how you will relate with your kids once you have them.

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Man! All the best

The moment we begin to realise how right our fathers were, our kids begin to ignorantly prove to us how wrong we are…
Make peace with your father coz carma is a biach.

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You have no idea how close to the mark you hit. My grand dad was a drunk and my dad loathed him. He did not even go to his funeral.

I wanna befriend him. I know he wanted the best for us. Just the way he did his things…

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All the best. But I wish all if you can love him now that he is aging. He needs love now more than anything else. Go and make peace.

At least you don’t expect any surprises. All the best.

Hope it goes well for you bro.

Well, when that old man you so loathe now kicks the bucket, you will begin to understand his actions slowly by slowly. You will begin to realize his invaluable contributions to the man you are now. You will seriously appreciate his point of view and begin wishing he is alive so you thank him. Most of us older guys have gone through the same, and can’t stop praising our long dead dad’s. Do it when he is alive.

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