SAD POST ALERT! 
Today marks exactly 6 years since my girlfriend(let’s call her Caroh) from the school of pharmacy pale KU, college of traditional medicine introduced me to her Fiancee… You see I had dated myself for a whooping 8 months before this day, celebrating monthly anniversaries like a mad man in the process…
Those days I believed that patience was a good virtue, that ladies appreciated patient men…I thought we had a connection…I thought there was love …Once in a while she would even hold my hand and make me smile like a goat . Such signals, as my brother Thaddeaus Ogato will tell you, really confused us village boys… Things like being hugged by a woman that was not your wife, sijui holding hands during the day…Eiii… We came to learn them hapa Nairobi tu in campus…Down there in the village, bad manners are taken very seriously.
Anyway,mimi sikujua ni jokes… Sometimes we sat outside the library and read books, then she would get tired and just sleep on my chest like I was her husband… I almost edited my CV from ‘single’ to ‘In a very very serious relationship’ but Duncan Wanyonyi, Matheaus Lothar Marcus and Asuman Moirongo adviced me to hold on a little longer, saying the lady was not going anywhere… But she was going!!
So this day she calls me and says there’s someone I should meet…In my excitement, I put on some coat that I had… Only My cousin Clive Ramond has a picture of me in that coat and the day he unleashes that image on social media, my career is over… That image is the reason I send him money every month without him asking for it… I looked ridiculous in it!!.. I find Caroh with some guy near the tuckshop and I’m thinking she’s already taking the relationship to the next level by introducing me to her brothers…next ni kushona tu vitenge halafu tunaanza kuheshimu ndowa . She hugs me mercilessly before dropping it… “Sir-Lucky, meet my Fiancee Lukas!!”
I was not seeing Lukas, his image was suddenly blurry…I wanted to cough and scream at the same time… I wanted to remind Caroh that it was impossible to have both a boyfriend and Fiancee at the same time but all I ended up saying was “Oooo nice”… She introduced me as “The funny friend I’ve been telling you about”… The audacity!!! What nonsense!.. Funny friend?, well played Caroh, well played… Yesu!! Who even dates people called Lukas in this century?? Dumping Lucky for Lukas is like turning down an offer for fried chicken and ugali in town and running home only to find your wife has cooked njahi and mashed potatoes…Jan Maina will not like this comparison…
Anyway Lukas had a car…It was old and ugly but was still a car…He took us to the nearby ‘KM’ cafeteria and bought us food…I ate matumbo and cabbage plus Fanta orange…He said my coat looked funny and I just said thanks… Damn!!.I was participating so much in my own humiliation!.. Then he drove us back to the hostel and gave Caroh some money…I went to my room to pack a few clothes and go back to my Matunwa Village in Gesima ward Nyamira county, and Mourn there for 40 days and 40 nights but I realized I didn’t even have fare…
They got Married soon after graduation and she now has to sadly deal with the dry jokes of Lukas for the rest of her life…
Hebu Wana choir wanipatie wimbo moja ya huzuni ndio nipate nguvu ya kumaliza hii story siku ingine
Likes of Getty Mush, Terry Juma, Melodias Momanyi, Brenda Evans, @Chebet, Zakayo Mungai, Kemunto Nyakeh, Tyrus Onyango can confidently affirm this
The take home message from this post:
- It is possible to date yourself for 8 months… Awuoro!!
- Respect women from the school of pharmacy
3.“Do you have a Fiancee?” is a question you must ask on the first date… These daughters of Jezzebel will never tell you… One day you wake up and realize she has a husband and 3 kids… You confront her and she calmly says “But you never asked”… Then you come here and start making long posts like this one…
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#stayhome
© By Aloyce Rieko
Edited by @sir-LuckySamuelMang’era
To suit one’s self
#SirLuckySpeaks