There is a certain rela of mine i have helped several times with several favours. I even paid his rent for one month. But he has been going around saying bad things about me. Today i have been told what he has been saying. Man it was painful to hear what he has been saying. Most of them exaggerations. I don’t know what to do but one thing i have decided is that i will no longer be reluctant to say no when someone asks for a favour. I was always the good guy, always afraid to say no, always helping people. Man, this is a big lesson for me. I will not be afraid to be a bad boogeyman. Wacha marela waongee. What are your experiences guys with relas or friends whom you helped and later on turned on you?
He is gossiping coz you are a better man than he ever will. Plus your good deeds will speak for you.
Immediate family that is bro,siz,matha,nephew na nieces saidia. Uncles,aunties na cuzo wachanganye matako kama wamesonga.
Call him and ask him if what you heard is true. Someone could also be trying to drive a wedge between family. Be careful of people who bring you gossip about you. Ask yourself what they stand to gain by making enmity between family. Clearly the stories he was saying were not meant for you. That means he does not wish you any harm. Jiulize maswali mingi sana kabla ukosane na damu juu ya mtu hujui. The same person will go around saying that family has no friendship between them.
Did you ask your informer what he told your relative about you? A conversation is two-way
Ni uncle yangu man. Na ni mtu nilikuwa nimemrespect sana. Hao nitapuuza kama ghasia.
Ambia yeye face to face. He is related to your mother not your money. Hii entitled apelekee dadake.
Mimi kuna mwingine alikuwa ananipresha ATI nimnunulie fertilizer gunia mbili. I asked him akivuna auze waru zake hukula na hawara wake.
Hii nimeambiwa na my relative mwenye niko close na yeye hata kushinda huyo uncle yangu.
Is the close relative also dependent on you for finances or are they well off. Maybe he is just trying to eliminate the competition. Kama ni filenja ujue anapunguza compee tu, take itlike a learned person and conduct your own inquiry
ungemwambia ukweli,huna any, poverty is not a crime
I will do my investigation. But ile pain nimefeel si kidogo. I just hope it is not true.
Huyo jamaa ni ghasia brathake aligonjeka na hawezi hata mtembelea. Sisi ndio tuna struggle na mzae. Na hio chieth hapa ni kusumbua na simu. I asked him a frank question ni wewe nitasaidia ama ni babangu. Kwanza yeye ni bachelor MGTOW 50 years na tumbo yake imemshinda. Hana majukumu.
Toboa hapa vyenye amesema
In short, the guy anajaribu kusema ati sijawahi kumsaidia. Then anasema ati whenever i am in town halafu akuje kunitembelea huwa namnyima chakula. Ata chai tu hawezi pikiwa. Hizo zote ni uongo. Huyu jamaa nimeng’ang’ana kumsaidia but ni mtu tu ungrateful. Niko hadi na Mpesa text ya rent nilimlipia.
Kata links na yeye. Unasaidia punda, asande ni mateke. wacha asaidiwe na mungu. People will talk but yeye mwenyewe anajua ukweli alipata msaada kwako
There are things you can’t control. One of them is gossips and bad-mouthing. You are hurt by what he said because your mind has absorbed it and your mind interprets it as your fault.
In stoicism, you know who you are. You are an altruist who is ready to help. Look at the positive side, you helped him and the gods are pleased. You have no control over what he will say to others but you can control yourself by stopping helping him.
but what if… your nephew and niece do you like this → “achanganye matako kama amesonga” one day?. 
Kama umeoa chunguza that uncle might have even slept with your wife already
One thing I discovered is that you should never try to be so generous or get too close to two groups of people:
- Members of the extended family mostly uncles, aunts, cousins, in-laws.
- Village/estate folks from your birthplace.
Forward and change the date, umshow umemlipia mwezi ingine