Back in 2011 when i decided to move to nairobi (ile ya kuhamisha keja though i still worked in nanyuki upto 2014) I so happened to get a bedsitter in newly under construction units ile design ground floor imeisha but landlord hakua na pesa ya kuendelea na first floor. Now this plot was what i would call the “the gift from the gods themselves” it had five units ie my one bedsitter and four one bedroom units. They were excellently finished ie tiles, hot shower, spacious kitchens, walldrobes, individual electricity meters and above all plenty of water round the year hell i didnt even see the need to buy a super drum. It was quiet and neighbours went about their business without disturbing anyone. We paid the landlord directly via mpesa or his bank account hence we never had the nasty encounters with agents that is the norm today. He in turn would never knock on your door and deadline for rent was 10th, how i miss the old days…
I will introduce you to the tenants…
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Yours truly @imei2012 in a bedsitter next to the gate, bachelor,plays loud music when he has friends over during the weekend, drinks alot, only one with dstv and watches soccer from the comfort of his room, most efficient utiliser of electricity and water and his prompt payment of rent has him in good books with the landlord…
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On my left is a mysterious luhya dude called wanjala, nobody knows what he does for a living since he leaves early and comes late in the night, claims to be the son of former police commandant and every time he has quarels with the landlord over late rent payments , never buys a mzinga but gladly takes when he finds you drinking on the roof, electricity disconnections is his second name and the women he brings in are brought in the dead of night and by 5am they are kicked out the less said about him the better…
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In the center of the plot is one calvo…now talkers this dude was a piece of work, claims to work with the UN and boosts of having visited the whole of africa except siera leone in the course of his work. Introduce any topic and he will claim to have been personally there from the bull running festival in spain to the champions league finals in germany’s alianz arena. Claims to be a telecommunications engineer and studied at UoN before proceeding for a masters in south africa.He is kisii and phusically assaults his many and uncountable women he has. Gets loud when drunk and can really buy booze when he is in the mood. His whatsapp is full of over 250 women and claims he is a train yaani he never beds a woman more than once yeye husema gari la moshi likitoka stage hakuna reverse mpaka next stage. Remember how i put up a thread about dollar bills marked UN? You guessed right he had them…never believed him for a second. A staunch arsenal fan .
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Opposite extreme left and behind calvo lived a mkorino woman with one kid. Now i dont know much about wakorino but my guess is that she was a side dish or mpango wa kando since a mysterious dude would show up once in a while with a big car say a range or v8 and would never spend a night. They would lock the poor boy out as they lets speculate dry fried each other as the boy would be crying at the door mpaka namuita akae kwangu. Never gotead each other but would blast the whole plot on sunday morning playing those akorino songs while washing her clothes saa hizo niko na a terrible hangover. She would be wearing a short skirt with a slit that exposed those kikuyu legs yellow yellow na momorish hivi. I once chocked my shaft wanking to them in the kitchen as i peeped in the window when she had bend over washing…
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Finally ladies and gentlemen on the mkorinos right and directly opposite my door live wa kina priscila…
To be continued wacha niingie shift