Hekaya from the legend

Borrowed from the legendary story teller…Dagitari Wanjohi wa Kigogoine

"The things Theuri has shown me, some I will talk during old age.

One time, we had gone to Nakuru to help a friend buy a PM. Theuri had carried Kiranga and I in his car.

After the ceremony was over, Theuri asked us why we should go back to Nairobi same day yet we had a visa to sleep out, by the virtue of going to take a friend to buy a PM. It is generally accepted that it is wrong to drive at night after boozing small far distance.

Theuri suggested since we cant sleep out and fail to dangle, the best option was we import persons from Nairobi and since I was the one with the largest database, I was tasked. I went through my phonebook and convinced two MKUs to come over.

Between me and poverty, I had 4500. Kiranga had 4k. Theuri had money like of thief. We agreed since what we had was not enough, he stands for us. He agreed. He then instructed me to send them fare of 1k since my money was the one that was not yet removed from mpesa.

After the occasion, the buyer of PM had saided we meet at club , forgetting the name but plays mugithi he returns thanks. In our culture, when you are fundraised to buy a PM, you dont leave everything there, you leave small to thank those who took you there.

Majority had come from Nairobi and it was apparent that majority had visas. And there are those clever ones that had arranged themselves with yellow yellows. Among the yellows there, was one yellow yellow of owner that Theuri knew before. They talked in ear and small, Theuri disappeared and became mteja.

Small, a guy announced that there was a mbuzi that had been putted and each of us was to remove 1k, except persons. Even those persons who had come with SUVs were exempted from removing even a cent. I refused to know. Meat of 1k, is 2kgs, and the max I can eat is half a KG to the fullest. Nonetheless, we removed, albeit half halfheartedly.

When there is such occasion, you are drinking where all of you know each other very well, no one throws a dogogio for you, since you cant buy for one friend and leave another one, and you cant also buy for 30 people. Thats where you end up drinking of you only. If you dont have even what, you go sleep in the car.

At around 9, the persons of MKU arrived,upbeat that they will drink the rich to drink, get climbed and tomorrow of that day, gets a token of appreciation of kindu 10 each to go buy Brazilian hair. In my pocket, I had remained less than 1500. Stepper had 2k and our sponsor had disappeared with a yellow of owner.

Asking what they will drink, they saided black label. I fainted in heart and when I woke up, I telled them that Black label of such clubs are mostly of river road, they will see what they will see if they drink that. They finally agreed to my suggestion of Guarana. Even though it comes two two, it has its advantages. Chances of them being drunk with you having only bought one round is always very high. Persons gets bought beer by people they don’t even know, but when it is mzinga, even people you may know passes 2km away.

After seeing Theuri’s chances of returning turning slimmer, I decided to borrow from friends in there. 99% saided I should have told thema few minutes ago because they just used all they had or lended to someone there a few minutes ago, 1% saided I wait small, and that small was never was.

I would move off that table so that men could think she was not taken and throw a round but where. In their heart, they were saying there was no way I was going to milk with others nappier grass.

Seeing no round was coming, I would go to another table, give them stories of giant and in the confusion, help myself with two beers, go to the counter, change them to Guarana and return to our table.

By kindu mid night when the buyer of pm appeared to buy people drinks, I had remained 200. Kiranga had 500 although the persons were sufficiently watered courtesy of the beers I had stolen from dirtied tables.

Buyer of PM telled people to queue to pick 3 beers. Although none of Nairobi friend stood to go get free beer, because they all could afford to buy for themselves, only those of the village, Kiranga and our persons queued to get free drinks. He who does not have his does not worry. Again, fear makes problems reside in a home.

Small, a friend died mercy for me and gave me 2k. That kept us going after the free beer finished and after the tables stopped being dirtified completely. By 3AM, all those who had imports had gone to climb. It was our persons who had remained and now those old trappers of that club.

Our persons started to look at us and refusing to know why we were not taking them to room. We pretended that we were badass, we drink until we see the sun rising.

By 4AM, our persons had already “realised” that we didn’t have even what. When I went to steal a beer at a dirtied table, I found that they shifted to a table next that was dirtied more than where I was stealing. When I went there to protest, I was warned by a bouncer that I risk being made to resemble a guy stepped by a train. I returned tail and returned to my table, sad and happy at the same time.

Small, Kiranga also disappeared. Later, I came to know that he had been given 5k to deliver my persons to that table. After small time, he also disapeared and went to room with his, leaving mine there with a dirtied table, surrounded by rich mean guys. I could see how a persons I risked thiefing other people’s beer for, being touched touched by another man. But since I didn’t have even what, I saided the rooood is my strength.


ufukara mbaya


Always Wanjohi

was funny tho waShinna mostly ndio huelewa


This one lacks the flow I am used to…

Very well told. When you import you must go to room to freshen up and atleast steal one njoti. Otherwise you will suffer.



You do. You bothered to comment on what am used to. Lakini regional wacha nikuulize,do you have to shout? Methinks despite your pretense,there is some ubukusu that has still refused to get out of your system. Hata ufuge foreign mongerels,obukusu haishi boss… But it affects me not.

hehehe…link tafadhali


i wish i had this in the morning :D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D