Have you ever smashed a woman you thought you could never smash? (Hekaya alert)

[Ule_Mnatty254]

Hizi ndio huwa the sweetest coz nikama una collect deni yenye ilikuwa imekwama. I had this girl who was slightly older than me nikaanza kurusha vibes but akainsist mimi ni kama small bro and would call me that. At one point ata tulikuwa tunafanya job anashinda akiniita small bro so nikachill tukakuwa mabesthe hadi alikuwa ananipea relationship advise & i introduced her to my consequent gf. I moved to a diff city and she ended up moving there so ubeshte ikaendelea.

Fast forward about 8 years later, i’d moved again to a diff city and was single but dating. She moved to the same city too but ended up staying a bit far from the main areas. Akakuwa akinicall kujua hepi za hio city ziko wapi etc. One weekend she decides to come to my side of town hepi kiasi, akakam na tukapiga sherehe but she couldn’t drive back coz it was a long drive. Nikampea bed na nikalala kwa couch. This happened a few times bila issue plus i knew she was talking to someone as she’d always make a call before bed and immediately she woke up.

One random weekend she asked me to come to her side of town nimpeleke out. We were really cool hadi nilikuwa nampasha vile my dating life was going on so i didn’t have any intentions. We went out nikarudi nikadoze kwa couch yake. 2 weekends later the same followed. This time when we came back akanishow tushare bed coz she felt like cuddling. Spooning kiasi hapo alafu vitu zikajipa. Nilimunch a few times akaanza kuwa clingy anadai kustay over a whole weekend bana which wasn’t ideal coz i was serially dating, kila weekend ilikuwa lazima nimunch vitu mbili different. Nikaanza kumpea cold shoulder & kusema hii weekend ni boyz night until hio story ikabeat. Vitu zilikuwa swafi tho but nilielewa why she was single.

[Baby_Panay]

@Stray dog

:D:D:D

:D:D:D @Stray dog is @mbwakali your deadbeat father ama? Alafu I’ve noticed wewe ni NV. Fuata mwenzako upitie hapa tafasali…

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[Muthafari]

@Baby Panay

:D:D:D:D Niliskia wewe ndio chairman wa plantation workers association (PWA)

Heheee remind him

[Yuletapeli]

Hekaya swafi.

[Dzunza]

@Ule Mnatty254

but nilielewa why she was single.

Why?

[johntez_addi_gaza_ms]

@sludgist

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MaLiza hiyo day dreamer kabisa

[Thirimaii]

@Baby Panay

I don’t know why I just remembered this …:D:D:D:D

Many years ago, I found a place to set up shop kwa plot flani.

Kwa hio plot, side ya nyuma zilikuwa ni boma za watu and mostly during the day, housewives na some single ladies ndio walikuwa.

I interacted with the ladies, got to know what they did and yeah, we became friendly as I made a mental note of who might be the easiest to get to bed.

There was this one married woman that was light skinned, short, mnono vizuri all round and was rocking some nice dreads. She also had a very pretty face and two young boys.

She was serious saa zote. Other than greetings, hakuwa na story mob. I had already made up my mind that there was no way I was ever gonna smash her which was bothering me kiasi juu manze she had a massive ass.

One night after kufunga job, I met her akiwa amebeba her youngest son akitoka kununua supper. I stopped, said hi and jokingly told her “si twende kwangu?”

She looked down for a second and said “saa hii?” I noticed she was considering my offer and I was shocked but sikupoteza time. I was like “mbona si saa hii, siishi mbali”. She asked mahali nilikuwa naishi and I explained to her. She was deep in though at that time and said something about her other son being at a neighbor’s house and her being late to prepare supper.

I wasn’t gonna give up. I told her “Twende tu uone ni wapi. Hatutakaa sana”. She said “sawa” and off we went to my place. Nikafungua keja and immediately I locked the door, I was all over her. Kisses, kufinya matiti and grabbing ass. I stopped to give her time to put down her son @sludgist on the sofa.

Immediately @sludgist aliwekwa chini ndio mimi huyo, all over her again. I lived in a bedsitter so I pushed her to the bed and got down to business. I was out of condoms so I “pimad kwa macho” and the results came back negative. Also, who uses condoms when with a juicy yellow yellow housewife who looked healthy? She also didn’t seem to care about it so skirt went up, panties went to the floor and inside I went raw.

I hit that pudesh a good one and when I nutted, I noticed baby @sludgist was up on his little legs hapo kwa sofa looking at us. Not saying a word but puzzled. I tried to make her stay niende round ingine but she had to leave so we dressed na nikapea yeye push.

From then ikakuwa ni mazoea. At my place or hers. Her husband @Heke used to slave as a fork lift driver in a nearby company. Wiki yake ya kuingia nightshift I used to stay at my shop until saa tano. Watoi wakilala mwanamke ananitext. Nafunga shop and after making sure nobody was outside, glide like a ghost hadi kwake where she served me food and I plough her mercilessly.

Watu wa kuitisha evidence mlichelewa. This happened in 2012.

Story of giant

[Thirimaii]

@Kalenjin101

Tangu nione kijana ya 25 years hapo amekatwa machete ya diagonal kwa shingo juu ya kupatikana akikula vya wenyewe mimi bibi ya mtu is a no-go-zone. Alifanya timing mbaya.

Na vile wanaume wakale ni malaya,uliza @Chiefguest

[Thirimaii]

@Heke

:D:D:Dbazu @Baby Panay kwani nilikukosea na sijui thread mbili Leo na venye nimeshinda Niki sweat

kumbe wewe ni trolley driver,how do you manage in life.
No wonder your khupipi anajipeana tu juu ata mjigijaa yako haiwezi rauka

[Kalenjin101]

@Thirimaii

Na vile wanaume wakale ni malaya,uliza @Chiefguest

The name umalaya is strictly reserved for the other gender.

[Jimit]

Elders siku izi wako na akili ndogo. Clearly this is a made up hekaya to troll @sludgist

[slevyn]

And you wonder why children grow up into killers

[Jimit]

@Kalenjin101

The name umalaya is strictly reserved for the other gender.

Vipi Chemosi ?

[Heke]

@Baby Panay

:D:D:D:D Niliskia wewe ndio chairman wa plantation workers association (PWA)

:D:D:DIyo chama iki Kam Nita kuwa chairman/lady na secretary na treasurer…I will run it on my own if necessary…story ya single parent family ata kalewa uhuru alikataa:cool:

[Heke]

:D:D:D@Thirimaii matako yangu ni ngumu sana ju ya kushinda Niki kimbizana na mizigo utawezana kweli:cool:

[Slim_fit]

Ati ukapima na macho.

[Slim_fit]

@Nostradumbass

Hehehe,wueh mi nmekumbuka back in 2014 nkiwa coast,there’s this chic from shagz kalikuja kutembelea auntie yake Msa.

Nkakatext hivi kimchezo mchezo ,tukachat for some days nkasema acha niombe beehive…wueh,wadau kaschana miaka kadhaa younger than me but jibu kalinipea ,ati “kijana,ukiniangalia hivi ata mkono siwezi kusalimia nayo,coomer ndo ntakupea na vile umeparara?”.
Iliniuma but nkasema ni sawa.

Ffw,2018,dame tunapatana naye shagz,akansalimia nkasema salamu Ni za mungu sitakataa,but kukumbuka Ile jibu something told me ,hii lazima ulipishe,so I told her I was going to have a beer then head home,happened tulikuwa tunaishi place moja. So tukaingia club,nkashika guiness zangu mbili yeye akameza tusker cider.

Around saa tatu usiku,told her nataka kuishia,sisi hao kwa gari,vile namfikisha kwa mathake ashuke nkamcomplement kiasi and that was it,hiyo nyau niliipiagia hapo kwa gate yao bila huruma…after nutting,nkamkumbusha what she had told me years ago.

Hadi waleo dame huwa ananichukia.

Women will always set standards for broke men.

[Thirimaii]

An

@Heke

:D:D:D@Thirimaii matako yangu ni ngumu sana ju ya kushinda Niki kimbizana na mizigo utawezana kweli:cool:

Any matacore can doo,when you get home,take off all your clothes,bend to the extent you can have a view of your orifice(hope hauna utambi).
What you’ll see there just behind your balls is a goldmine.
think about it overnight and unaweza wacha kukimbizana na mizigo going forward

[Heke]

@Thirimaii

An

Any matacore can doo,when you get home,take off all your clothes,bend to the extent you can have a view of your orifice(hope hauna utambi).
What you’ll see there just behind your balls is a goldmine.
think about it overnight and unaweza wacha kukimbizana na mizigo going forward

:D:D:D I only reply to your posts coz you have a very crazy sense of humour

[Kim_Felix]

Some of you have guts. Okay. How old do you think the kid was ndio nijue how fucked up you were at the time:D