Have you ever been arrested?

[Bingwa_Scrotum]

I have

And it was a matter of security. I was set free after questioning and my phone records investigated

[Jirani]

Hakuna wariah Kenya ajawai simamishwa na karao. I pity u pple though… Makarao hawafanyi poa

[Borana_WA_NorthEaste]

Hapa kwetu sololo polisi nalala njaa. Akishika wewe ile kitu napatia hao ni miti ya kuchunga ngamia. Pesa hakuna kwa mfuko

[Jirani]

@Borana WA NorthEastern

Hapa kwetu sololo polisi nalala njaa. Akishika wewe ile kitu napatia hao ni miti ya kuchunga ngamia. Pesa hakuna kwa mfuko

You’re now becoming irritating and boring

[mozilla]

Was once arrested in thika for loitering,refused to pay 4k bribe n went to court n was given a court duty,sweeping around n fined 500

[123tokambio]

Nishai lala cell, na tukiwa hapo OB, nikashow karao flani achukue thao aniachilie juu hata wanajua tu nilishuka matt nikaingia Land cruiser. Msee akakubali, but kabla anitoe nje Senior Sgt akatokea. Ikawa ni kila mtu kiatu na belt kwa box. Morning yule karao anakuja kudai ile thao nikamshow ni asubuhi, kama ni kuosha cell nitaosha.

[Riva]

I was once arrested for doing some night photography. Spend two days in a dark,cold, cell with hard core criminals. My greatest fear was to feel like taking a dump coz the toilet bowls were filled to the brim, there was a flood in the toilets/bathrooms, and I had only one shoe.
It was my first time being arrested and those two days seemed like an eternity. I kept my distance from the others coz most of them were regulars, and I didn’t want to say something that might end up being politically incorrect. They knew every cop on night duty and were little fazed by the idea of being arrested. The food was bad but the pungent smell from the pissing pail at the corner was worse. It burnt my lungs and the cold made it worse. Worse, there was a guy with TB and he kept telling me to lie down near everyone to reduce the bite of the cold; I kept turning down his offer politely and I couldn’t close both eyes while I slept.
I met people in suits (economic crimes) and young men accused of possessing stolen mobile phones whose owners were murdered church women. Another one was held on accusation of eating slices from an underage girl, apparently he had only lowered his trousers and even the head was nowhere near the pussy (yet) before he was rudely interrupted by the ambush (had to hold myself from laughing at his predicament). Also met prison guards held for using their guns for robbery.

What did I learn?

1. If a cop wants to take you in, negotiate as much as possible and don’t let him go through with it. Going in is easy, coming out is not so easy.
2. Everyone in jail is innocent and they are very keen on explaining to everyone their version of events.
3. Most cops are only ‘bad’ when you’re outside. Inside, they can be very friendly.
4. Always know someone (or someone who knows someone) in law enforcement. The higher the rank, the better.
5. Don’t flip your clothes (like the way you do a wrinkled shirt or a dusty jacket) on court day. It’s a bad omen and you will most definitely be remanded or sentenced to jail.
6. Freedom is the most precious thing ever. There’s nothing worse than having to beg someone so you can use your phone to make a call. All the money you have cannot compensate for loss of freedom.
7. Don’t have expectations. One hour will appear like one day and you’ll die of despair.

[uwesmake]

kuna sato nimetoka waks ( i was single hizo siku ) kakamega nikaenda kumeza meza gilbeys , kufika saa nne zikanionyesha niende kutafuta malaya hapo kwa streets nikamue atleast moja nichangamke . sasa CBD ya kakamega hio time ilikuwa kama buildings kumi zimeshikana but kuna specific building ni ya malaya near mama watoto supermarket , mimi huyo nikaangukia kamaragoli brown skin momo but inaeza kuwa alikuwa shiny eyes amevaa ngozi ya maragoli . tuka agree 150 shot room 100 . nikaingia nikakamua shot ya uzito kwa hio room , kitu moja na gilbeys ni una mbao kama chuma chapchap nikamwaga haraka nikatoka kwa korido kwa giza . NIkaskia mtu amenishika shati , navy seal mode ika kick in ’ MALAYA WEWE UNANISHIKA AJE ’ nikasema kama nimeinua jamaa upper cut aka collapse hapo chini . kidokidogo watuu wanne in uniform na AK47 wakatokea , those days i was a peasant nikainua mikono juu . ’ kijana unapiga askari ’ i recognised the voice , ’ ahhh Rotich ni mimi Uwes nilifikiria huyu jamaa ni mwizi ’ . Jamaa nilikimbo slice ashaamka headed for me but the senior told him he knows me. The senior said we had to go to the police station tu discuss before he released me , nikasema isorait .

At the station tukaongea kidogo, b4 he released me akaenda kuangalia the colleague ndio ajue ninatoa how much asicatch feelings . Kumbe hio ngombe on reaching the station alijua njia ya kudeal na mimi ni kuniweka kwa O.B ( now for the fools who dont know police procedures , only the OCS or someone higher anaweza kutoa kama umeshawekwa kwa O.B ) nikaambiwa lazima mkubwa akuje asubuhi ndio nitolewe . Aisuru Navy Seal nikaambiwa nilale kwa ofisi hapo but nikakataa nikasema nipelekwe ndani nione vile kunakuanga . nikakutana na wazito huko ndani tukaheshimiana (story for another day ) kesho yake nikatoka , the only person to be released on a sunday. .Huyo karao hakuwai pata loan yoyote in any bank in kakamega that was my revenge .

[AFI]

@Riva

I was once arrested for doing some night photography. Spend two days in a dark,cold, cell with hard core criminals. My greatest fear was to feel like taking a dump coz the toilet bowls were filled to the brim, there was a flood in the toilets/bathrooms, and I had only one shoe.
It was my first time being arrested and those two days seemed like an eternity. I kept my distance from the others coz most of them were regulars, and I didn’t want to say something that might end up being politically incorrect. They knew every cop on night duty and were little fazed by the idea of being arrested. The food was bad but the pungent smell from the pissing pail at the corner was worse. It burnt my lungs and the cold made it worse. Worse, there was a guy with TB and he kept telling me to lie down near everyone to reduce the bite of the cold; I kept turning down his offer politely and I couldn’t close both eyes while I slept.
I met people in suits (economic crimes) and young men accused of possessing stolen mobile phones whose owners were murdered church women. Another one was held on accusation of eating slices from an underage girl, apparently he had only lowered his trousers and even the head was nowhere near the pu**y (yet) before he was rudely interrupted by the ambush (had to hold myself from laughing at his predicament). Also met prison guards held for using their guns for robbery.

What did I learn?

1. If a cop wants to take you in, negotiate as much as possible and don’t let him go through with it. Going in is easy, coming out is not so easy.
2. Everyone in jail is innocent and they are very keen on explaining to everyone their version of events.
3. Most cops are only ‘bad’ when you’re outside. Inside, they can be very friendly.
4. Always know someone (or someone who knows someone) in law enforcement. The higher the rank, the better.
5. Don’t flip your clothes (like the way you do a wrinkled shirt or a dusty jacket) on court day. It’s a bad omen and you will most definitely be remanded or sentenced to jail.
6. Freedom is the most precious thing ever. There’s nothing worse than having to beg someone so you can use your phone to make a call. All the money you have cannot compensate for loss of freedom.
7. Don’t have expectations. One hour will appear like one day and you’ll die of despair.

Ulijitoa aje?

[Riva]

@uwesmake

kuna sato nimetoka waks ( i was single hizo siku ) kakamega nikaenda kumeza meza gilbeys , kufika saa nne zikanionyesha niende kutafuta malaya hapo kwa streets nikamue atleast moja nichangamke . sasa CBD ya kakamega hio time ilikuwa kama buildings kumi zimeshikana but kuna specific building ni ya malaya near mama watoto supermarket , mimi huyo nikaangukia kamaragoli brown skin momo but inaeza kuwa alikuwa shiny eyes amevaa ngozi ya maragoli . tuka agree 150 shot room 100 . nikaingia nikakamua shot ya uzito kwa hio room , kitu moja na gilbeys ni una mbao kama chuma chapchap nikamwaga haraka nikatoka kwa korido kwa giza . NIkaskia mtu amenishika shati , navy seal mode ika kick in ’ MALAYA WEWE UNANISHIKA AJE ’ nikasema kama nimeinua jamaa upper cut aka collapse hapo chini . kidokidogo watuu wanne in uniform na AK47 wakatokea , those days i was a peasant nikainua mikono juu . ’ kijana unapiga askari ’ i recognised the voice , ’ ahhh Rotich ni mimi Uwes nilifikiria huyu jamaa ni mwizi ’ . Jamaa nilikimbo slice ashaamka headed for me but the senior told him he knows me. The senior said we had to go to the police station tu discuss before he released me , nikasema isorait .

At the station tukaongea kidogo, b4 he released me akaenda kuangalia the colleague ndio ajue ninatoa how much asicatch feelings . Kumbe hio ngombe on reaching the station alijua njia ya kudeal na mimi ni kuniweka kwa O.B ( now for the fools who dont know police procedures , only the OCS or someone higher anaweza kutoa kama umeshawekwa kwa O.B ) nikaambiwa lazima mkubwa akuje asubuhi ndio nitolewe . Aisuru Navy Seal nikaambiwa nilale kwa ofisi hapo but nikakataa nikasema nipelekwe ndani nione vile kunakuanga . nikakutana na wazito huko ndani tukaheshimiana (story for another day ) kesho yake nikatoka , the only person to be released on a sunday. .Huyo karao hakuwai pata loan yoyote in any bank in kakamega that was my revenge .

Hehe hio ndio station nlilala two days, cell no.2

[Riva]

@AFI

Ulijitoa aje?

I called someone who knew a guy in the CID. I guess the guy had a lot of authority within the ranks coz the call made the OCS leave his house at 9pm in shorts and slippers to come and release me. Of course I later M-pesad some ‘appreciation’.

[vincelly]

@Jirani

You’re now becoming irritating and boring

Jst like u

[Mjuaji]

@Riva

5. Don’t flip your clothes (like the way you do a wrinkled shirt or a dusty jacket) on court day. It’s a bad omen and you will most definitely be remanded or sentenced to jail.

Pole boss. Lakini No.5 ni ushirikina.

[Jobi]

@Riva

I called someone who knew a guy in the CID. I guess the guy had a lot of authority within the ranks coz the call made the OCS leave his house at 9pm in shorts and slippers to come and release me. Of course I later M-pesad some ‘appreciation’.

But I thought you spent 2 days in the cell.Hiyo simu ungepiga Day 1. Ama its a different hekaya?

[Mathaais]

There was a thread not so long ago by @Meria Mata where we shared these experiences. Mtu aweke link.

[Bigfish1]

What I can confess is an hour feels like a whole day, the pungent smell of urine and cigarette ,body odours.
It’s not an experience you’d like to go through .
That was kilimani before all the new cells were built.
The annoying thing is the guys who end up in cells after a swoop are mostly idle guys who couldn’t meet the bribes .
In some instances they just need to disperse people from the base, you go finish your poison in the house.

[steve_mmoja]

@mozilla

Was once arrested in thika for loitering,refused to pay 4k bribe n went to court n was given a court duty,sweeping around n fined 500

have you ever thought getting convicted ends up on ur criminal record…now in the event you win a greencard and ur records are pulled from the database by the US embassy…do I need to continue?

[nairobilay]

@Riva what do you mean “arrested for night photography”? Or is this a euphemism for something else?

[Mr_Black]

I was nearly arrested, nilitoka mbio kama Bolt karao aliona vumbi tu

[system]

almost