HADITHI HADITHI (Fresh ya Shamba na Mnazi)

[Meria_Mata]

Saa zingine unajipata kwa situation Fulani and you wonder how you got there, two months before klist became klost Meria was in such a pahali.

It all started when the secretary of our chama said amepata shamba Naks, sisi hao mtu 15 from 001 tukafunga safari mpaka a place called Tinderess, Tandayraythay in greek, @bjurrmann anajua niwapi.

Tulifika poa na tukaona shamba na tukaipenda, rolling grassland na milima in the background, in the distance tukaambiwa ni lake Bogoria, didn’t matter . we shone our eyes and the deal was as gd as done after all the searches and what have you.

Baada ya kuzunguka shamba yote tulipata tumeandaliwa late lunch ya nguvu, cant confirm or deny tulikula bush meat hapo, but the farm manager, call him Macha swore it was goat meat, but that is neither here nor there, my full attention ilichukuliwa na one of the girls who were serving, a yelo yelo straight from yelo land. A pure untouched kienyeji, hapo hapo in my mind nikamuita fresh kinyeji. Mtoto alikua ameiva, all departments were sawa, she was nicely endowed kaa vile Meria hupenda. mata core ya nyanza, miguu za western na sura ya Taita, hmmmm wacha tu.

Vile nilimuona tu hivi fisi mode went into overdrive mpaka nikauma kidole, (mayaNgai ingiria gaka ndingithamba thiku ithatu)

FF tukiingia gari ya kurudi 001 fresh ya shamba alikua na huawei yangu ( while travelling I carry two phones) but the closest I got was holding her hands lakini nilikua sha panda mbegu (only fisis can understand)

Back in 001 some details had to be ironed out and we told the guys from Naks to come down, after the deal was sealed and signed hakukua na kazi nyingine isipokua kucelebrate our new union, this went on overnight na ika overflow tu the next day tukajipata kwa mnazi. @Jumabavu ukowapi, Macha wacha apende mnazi, alishangaa kuona mnazi comes from top of the tree, tulikunyua tukakunyua, By jioni on that Sunday as we manhandled the Naks guys onto their buses, walikua hawajijui.

Meanwhile all the time fisi 001 was in constant contact with fresh ya shamba, selfies on whatsapp and sex chat, back in my mind nilijua hii lazima hii nita import

Murphys law. Kama kitu itaharibika lazima iharibike na our deal ikakua nikaa inakunywa maji, chairman alikua majuu kwa kina Kush Yule mnono so ikakua Meria aende Naks kusort out maneno, hapo nikaandika lazima import fresh ya shamba lazima nirurudi naye, killing two birds with one stone. This village girl lazima nimlete Mombasa.

Hmmmm, kupigia Macha simu eti naja Naks alisema nisije bila mnazi, apparently the guy loved the drink, sasa mimi huyu nikaingia mangweni na kibuyu ya 5litre nikanunua mnazi around saa kumi, it was fresh from the tree, kwa cap nikaongeza karatasi nikafuga vizuri.

Modern coast ya Naks ilikua yaondoka saa tatu and Meria was there, while travelling I don’t have any luggage coz sipendi maisha ya upcountry, mie hutembea hit and run, one day max, nikioverstay I buy clothes from hawkers but this day I had a racksack with a five litre jerrican of mnazi, I was going to seal two deals, 1000 acres In Tinderess na fresh ya shamba awe imported.
.
end of episide one.
tukutane kesho nimalizie hekaya , threshold lazima nifikishe leo.

[Horus]

Nimesoma. Nani anataka summary ?

[kah_tony]

Hii nime-bookmark.

[bjurmann]

Hio mnazi ilifika?

[Marlboro_3D]

[ATTACH=full]60037[/ATTACH] Nangoja part two

[inzhener_otmetka]

@bjurmann

Hio mnazi ilifika?

Past Mariakani…

[sludgist]

Malizia hekaya, apana tambua VS wala VX

[system]

Village Sponsor maliza hekaya bwana. [SIZE=1]Ama nikuweke NV[/SIZE]

[Bingwa_Scrotum]

@Horus

Nimesoma. Nani anataka summary ?

Hebu nipe

[4makind]

Wewe ni mtu…
malizia risto VS

[It_s_Le_Scumbag]

Mimi sijuangi nini mbaya na wanaume.
Na hii tabia nimeiona sana sana na @Meria Mata
Everytime this VS has an import ndo juices za hekaya huanza kudrip. Nashindwaaa atashughulikia import ama atapeana hekaya. Just last night import ilioffloadiwa kutoka kwa Mash Cool at 1800 hrs. Just last night he dropped this hekaya…

Dunia imepasuka wapi? said in a PP Mwai wa Githinji voice

@Meria Mata wacha uNV,maliza hekaya selle…

[gashwin]

@It's Le Scumbag

Everytime this VS has an import ndo juices za hekaya huanza kudrip.

it’s the feel-good hormones…

[Mathaais]

@It's Le Scumbag

Mimi sijuangi nini mbaya na wanaume.
Na hii tabia nimeiona sana sana na @Meria Mata
Everytime this VS has an import ndo juices za hekaya huanza kudrip. Nashindwaaa atashughulikia import ama atapeana hekaya. Just last night import ilioffloadiwa kutoka kwa Mash Cool at 1800 hrs. Just last night he dropped this hekaya…

Dunia imepasuka wapi? said in a PP Mwai wa Githinji voice

@Meria Mata wacha uNV,maliza hekaya selle…

Kabuda manenos.

[Meria_Mata]

@Deorro

Village Sponsor maliza hekaya bwana. [SIZE=1]Ama nikuweke NV[/SIZE]

Kuingia kwa basi hizo siku ilikua hakuna kukaguliwa sana, mimi huyo na mnazi yangu ndani ya racksack inside the bus, I was in seat number 30 side ya conductor, I fear side ya deree on the A109 coz wakishikana na trailer bus huraruliwa yote kaa karatasi, mzigo yangu nikaweka kwa overhead rack nikachukua kiti, bus kuondoka 9:05pm nikatoa gilbeys yangu quarter nikaanza kumeza na maji, I wanted to sleep throughout the journey coz I had a busy day coming up, sikujua ata tukifika Mariakani, I was in dreamland.

I was rudely awakend by a riot inside the bus, nikitafuta bearings my sense of smell ndio iliniambia whats up, there was a strong smell of mnazi, kwa wale hawajui, mnazi smells like meffi ya siku iine, that’s why its drunk with a straw, uliza @MISCHIEF or @Yollo .

I had done a grave mistake ya kuingiza mnazi kwa bus, afadhali ningekua nimeweka kwa boot, mnazi ukiishake hua inatoa gas kaa coke, so kufika Talu ambapo barabara ilikua kaa moonscape juu ya mashimo mob, with all the shaking gas ilijaa kwa jerrican mpaka ikalipuka or the cap came off, wale watu walikua kwa hizo front seat walikua wamenyeshewa na mvua ya mnazi which was smelling like meffi, the smell was all over the bus, deree alikua amewasha taa ya ndani as guys were hunting for the source of the acid rain. Bado tulikua kichakani na hangesimama hapo, on Mombasa road usiku husimami anywhere ata kaa ni emergency, kelele ilienderea na watu wa front seats till we got to Maungu where we stopped ili tukague mizigo, all windows were open in a bid to rid the bus of the smell.

Gari kusimama wale wathii walikua wamemwagikiwa na mnazi walikimbia kwa guest house hapo kuomba maji wajimwagilie atleast smell ipungue lakini wapi, momo moja ilikua na imenyeshewa na mnazi kwa weave was crying, however mush she tried the smell wouldn’t go, meanwhile inside the bus I was the loud mouth there promising to wring the neck of the madafaka who had brought mnazi inside the bus, ungeniona ungefikiri mimi ndie mwenye bus vile nilikua nimekasirika, hehehehe

After an hr hapo maungu we only manged to clear 20% of the meffi smell, (don’t think you will get mnazi any time soon in Nairobi, labda in refregerated trucks) safari lazima ingeendelea. Hakuna mtu alilala kwa hio gari.

Kufika mtito mimi nikahepa, I got gari za port hapo tukaongea na jamaa na mimi huyoo was in Nairobi by 4am minus mnazi nikigojea gari ya kwanza ya Naks pale Nyamakima. Around 6am Macha akapiga simu kuuliza nimefika wapi, nilijua tu yeye alikua yuwataka kujua mnazi itafika saa ngapi, I didn’t tell him the bad news at that time. Nkaingia kwa nuclear and off we went to naks.

[Goks]

:D:D:D…Haya! Endelea tafadhali baado hatujafika Naks.

[10000_OTHERS]

@Meria Mata

Kuingia kwa basi hizo siku ilikua hakuna kukaguliwa sana, mimi huyo na mnazi yangu ndani ya racksack inside the bus, I was in seat number 30 side ya conductor, I fear side ya deree on the A109 coz wakishikana na trailer bus huraruliwa yote kaa karatasi, mzigo yangu nikaweka kwa overhead rack nikachukua kiti, bus kuondoka 9:05pm nikatoa gilbeys yangu quarter nikaanza kumeza na maji, I wanted to sleep throughout the journey coz I had a busy day coming up, sikujua ata tukifika Mariakani, I was in dreamland.

I was rudely awakend by a riot inside the bus, nikitafuta bearings my sense of smell ndio iliniambia whats up, there was a strong smell of mnazi, kwa wale hawajui, mnazi smells like meffi ya siku iine, that’s why its drunk with a straw, uliza @MISCHIEF or @Yollo .

I had done a grave mistake ya kuingiza mnazi kwa bus, afadhali ningekua nimeweka kwa boot, mnazi ukiishake hua inatoa gas kaa coke, so kufika Talu ambapo barabara ilikua kaa moonscape juu ya mashimo mob, with all the shaking gas ilijaa kwa jerrican mpaka ikalipuka or the cap came off, wale watu walikua kwa hizo front seat walikua wamenyeshewa na mvua ya mnazi which was smelling like meffi, the smell was all over the bus, deree alikua amewasha taa ya ndani as guys were hunting for the source of the acid rain. Bado tulikua kichakani na hangesimama hapo, on Mombasa road usiku husimami anywhere ata kaa ni emergency, kelele ilienderea na watu wa front seats till we got to Maungu where we stopped ili tukague mizigo, all windows were open in a bid to rid the bus of the smell.

Gari kusimama wale wathii walikua wamemwagikiwa na mnazi walikimbia kwa guest house hapo kuomba maji wajimwagilie atleast smell ipungue lakini wapi, momo moja ilikua na imenyeshewa na mnazi kwa weave was crying, however mush she tried the smell wouldn’t go, meanwhile inside the bus I was the loud mouth there promising to wring the neck of the madafaka who had brought mnazi inside the bus, ungeniona ungefikiri mimi ndie mwenye bus vile nilikua nimekasirika, hehehehe

After an hr hapo maungu we only manged to clear 20% of the meffi smell, (don’t think you will get mnazi any time soon in Nairobi, labda in refregerated trucks) safari lazima ingeendelea. Hakuna mtu alilala kwa hio gari.

Kufika mtito mimi nikahepa, I got gari za port hapo tukaongea na jamaa na mimi huyoo was in Nairobi by 4am minus mnazi nikigojea gari ya kwanza ya Naks pale Nyamakima. Around 6am Macha akapiga simu kuuliza nimefika wapi, nilijua tu yeye alikua yuwataka kujua mnazi itafika saa ngapi, I didn’t tell him the bad news at that time. Nkaingia kwa nuclear and off we went to naks.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:Dwaah

[Tiondo]

@Meria Mata

Kuingia kwa basi hizo siku ilikua hakuna kukaguliwa sana, mimi huyo na mnazi yangu ndani ya racksack inside the bus, I was in seat number 30 side ya conductor, I fear side ya deree on the A109 coz wakishikana na trailer bus huraruliwa yote kaa karatasi, mzigo yangu nikaweka kwa overhead rack nikachukua kiti, bus kuondoka 9:05pm nikatoa gilbeys yangu quarter nikaanza kumeza na maji, I wanted to sleep throughout the journey coz I had a busy day coming up, sikujua ata tukifika Mariakani, I was in dreamland.

I was rudely awakend by a riot inside the bus, nikitafuta bearings my sense of smell ndio iliniambia whats up, there was a strong smell of mnazi, kwa wale hawajui, mnazi smells like meffi ya siku iine, that’s why its drunk with a straw, uliza @MISCHIEF or @Yollo .

I had done a grave mistake ya kuingiza mnazi kwa bus, afadhali ningekua nimeweka kwa boot, mnazi ukiishake hua inatoa gas kaa coke, so kufika Talu ambapo barabara ilikua kaa moonscape juu ya mashimo mob, with all the shaking gas ilijaa kwa jerrican mpaka ikalipuka or the cap came off, wale watu walikua kwa hizo front seat walikua wamenyeshewa na mvua ya mnazi which was smelling like meffi, the smell was all over the bus, deree alikua amewasha taa ya ndani as guys were hunting for the source of the acid rain. Bado tulikua kichakani na hangesimama hapo, on Mombasa road usiku husimami anywhere ata kaa ni emergency, kelele ilienderea na watu wa front seats till we got to Maungu where we stopped ili tukague mizigo, all windows were open in a bid to rid the bus of the smell.

Gari kusimama wale wathii walikua wamemwagikiwa na mnazi walikimbia kwa guest house hapo kuomba maji wajimwagilie atleast smell ipungue lakini wapi, momo moja ilikua na imenyeshewa na mnazi kwa weave was crying, however mush she tried the smell wouldn’t go, meanwhile inside the bus I was the loud mouth there promising to wring the neck of the madafaka who had brought mnazi inside the bus, ungeniona ungefikiri mimi ndie mwenye bus vile nilikua nimekasirika, hehehehe

After an hr hapo maungu we only manged to clear 20% of the meffi smell, (don’t think you will get mnazi any time soon in Nairobi, labda in refregerated trucks) safari lazima ingeendelea. Hakuna mtu alilala kwa hio gari.

Kufika mtito mimi nikahepa, I got gari za port hapo tukaongea na jamaa na mimi huyoo was in Nairobi by 4am minus mnazi nikigojea gari ya kwanza ya Naks pale Nyamakima. Around 6am Macha akapiga simu kuuliza nimefika wapi, nilijua tu yeye alikua yuwataka kujua mnazi itafika saa ngapi, I didn’t tell him the bad news at that time. Nkaingia kwa nuclear and off we went to naks.

Was wondering nko Voi n am told mnazi haiezi fika…

[spax]

@Meria Mata

meanwhile inside the bus I was the loud mouth there promising to wring the neck of the madafaka who had brought mnazi inside the bus, ungeniona ungefikiri mimi ndie mwenye bus vile nilikua nimekasirika, hehehehe

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/79/58/6a/79586a15370acd0027a4e07db6dc5ca4.jpg

[Poor_Millionnaire]

@Meria Mata

don’t think you will get mnazi any time soon in Nairobi, labda in refregerated trucks)

[LeoK]

Nice Hekaya! isipokuwa anti climax! ama kuna episode 3 ??