Guka's Will; The Big Exit............

Before 2020, I will hit 70, the age the book of Jewish myths says ndiyo granted to man.

I don’t know whether its the realisation that my time is almost up or it was the demise of my long-term pal Silvester, but death is on my minds a lot these days.

The biggest dilemma I have now are the instructions I should put in my will; Kuzikwa kama waru ama kuroastiwa kama choma?


You should be left to the Hyenas to teach you some basics.RIP, you have been an excess baggage on earth.

Save the family all that expense, jirushe Nairobi dam ukiwa umejifungilia mfuko mbili za simiti…

chomwa na jivu ipewe MSiM aweke chini ya bed:rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:

@Wakanyama niwekee ile kisu ya ‘ngariba’…

Shikuku style, pima casket, chimba kaburi na ununue ngome tatu za kuchinja wakati wa mazishi.

as old as you are just light one ka-futhi on fire…you will light up like steel wool on wire.

The more you speak about your age, death, the longer you will stay around to bury other young people running their mouth. Mungu ajamalizana na wewe hii kijiji so until then relax until your balls fall off.

Mulosi mbona u don’t delete hizo posts/picha za mungich wakanyama ya kisu ya kutairi…hio ndo real hate speech

Get a slimshady lanye umwambie ur a politician,ensure she rides on top.

let them donate your corpse to one of the universities, itolewe spare parts za masomo…

True-ish. About 20 years ago my old man became obsessed with death - could be he dreamt of it. He went out and bought his casket, wrote a short history of his life even printed a booklet and gave my step sister 60k to be used for funeral expenses. He then sat and waited for the reaper. And waited. And waited. At 82 now the reaper still trolling him like #hahahawaitsomemore.

To answer MIT’s question: cremation. Burial is an awful waste of good land.

Lol this reminds me of my grandfather, hes your senior by 10years btw, he would always plan and talk about his death…10+ years later and dude still looks very strong. You still have 30+ good years in you, bora uwache utoto mwingi.

I thought utoto ndiyo unapunguza miaka, which is why I am here?

Utoto mwingi utafanya udanganywe na uwesmake ushikwe na momo wa mtu and that would bring your life to screeching halt

Make peace with your enemies and spend time with your grand children they say when somebody wants to die their whole life flashes before them how true this is i dont know

Do you heve grandchildren. .real not imaginary ? If so, the tittle GUKA is duely yours …lakini kama huna wajukuu , wachana na mwiaka !

if only you guys knew… Huyu mzee hajapita 35

Hehehehe unakumbuka za “am fefte fae” for sijui miaka ka tano?
Kutubeba hapa…

He meant ,uwache kukula tutoto