Guka's Medical Emergency; Talkers Please Urgently Help..............

So yesterday I went to Thigio and scored ‘big’; I bagged one of the singo mathas.

Tukateremka hapo Kamangu Gardens tukakunywa kukunywa. Yaani ile ni kama dunia inaisha.

Nikachukua ile room eti deluxe - Sh1,500.

I knew I couldn’t ferk - age + okoho ata ukijumpstartiwa na engine ya Boeing hauwess.

Anyway, sisi hao kwa room.

Kulala hivi nikaguzaguza singo matha nikama anablackout. Pia mimi siko sawa - too drunk.

Kuweka titi moja kwa mdomo nikaskia a sweet warm liquid - shakula ya mutoto.

Mimi na pombe zangu nikanyonya kunyonya, saa hiyo nimeweka dentures zangu hapo kando juu ya Biblia (mbona kila room ya kudinyana wanawekanga Bible, shenji!).

Yaani nilikuwa nafinya hizo teats na toothless gums naskia maziwa huko kwa throat shwaaaaaaaaaa! Nikanyonya zote mbili nikamaliza naye singo matha nikama amechanganyikiwa anadhani ako na mtoi kwa bed hata ndiye alikuwa ananiwekea vizuri akiwa half-blacked out.

Sasa leo nimeenda pale Fly Over/Kinale na jamaa wengine tumetoka shamba tukasema tukule kuku hapo Chicken Inn/Kobil.

Ghafla bin fuu (!) nikaskia tumbo inaghuruma kifunny. Nausea kidogo kwa umbali na pia ka-diarrhoea kakaanza kuteremka.

Nikajua Guka, kumethoka. Reaction ya human milk na gut flora ya miaka mia. Hata kuku sikula nilispend half the time in the washrooms fighting off nausea like a pregnant @Mrs4thletter .

Hata saa hii naskia funny, mdomo inataste kama hiyo maziwa hata niki-brush mara 10. Alafu the idea of me drinking human milk ni kama yule jamaa wa placenta; who does that at 65 maa ya Ngai! Niko traumatised kapsaaaa!

Anyway, I just need counselling na kuform support group with any man who has had a similar experience. @Ka-Buda?Any one?

Nisaidieni jameni…

Too bad.

While I was away, Guka officially lost his mind.

:confused::confused:
:D:D:D
Side effects za overdosing on liquid ARVs. :DARV liquor

Shida si maziwa, ni pombe. Hydrate, get bed rest and food for energy.

No bro, am good. Please saidia. I really need help!;););););):wink:

:frowning:

:D:D:D:D

Ngabu what does this mean? Am I gonna die?

disgusting! na ndio nilitaka kula supper…

what did we villagers do to deserve a senile demented old goat like you?

Woooi, pole. Am I gonna die?

guka hiyo maziwa ilikuwa na kakitu

dirty grand pa ulikamua hadi kwa…,Ama wacha tu.

Kakitu gani?

Ta gifangi ugwo. Leo unatuchekesha sana

Kuna reason h.i.v positive mothers hawanyonyeshangi. Sasa wewe na kiherehere yako ama ni ujinga unaenda kunyonya nyonya ovyo ovyo. Hiyo ni kama tu drae frae without pouring. Lakini usijali… yolo.

:D:D:D
Thanks gods I read the comments first.
Bon appetit .

Niwathira…its an abomination to suck a breastfeeding mum at ua age.

LIE. All mathas are now allowed to breastfeed if on ARVs. Halafu mtu mzima ako na acids kali sana sio kama mtoto. Have you ever heard a single message saying that breast milk can transmit HIV to an adult?