Mzee chuki yako na wajaka itakumaliza.
My thoughts? This is not your style of writing, one clearly see that you struggle to find adjectives to describe your ‘posh life’ or being a ‘birrionea.’ I don’t know, maybe it’s because you have not lived that kind of life or something. Kila saa “my Gucci wallet” seriously?
Andika kuhusu kile umezoea, uthamaki na Babuon nikupee likes.
Ebu niletee yule cucu wako mjaruo nitombe pris pris. Rika yangu kapsa! Niko dry spell mbaya sana saidi pris!
Alikuwa brown teeth ama orange’tang ? That is the part you left out na it is of importance for this story to be complete.
Anal Itch
And I thought I would read how your anal itch messed the MSM banging
There was this beggar in Kisumu. As you approached him, he would be like
Beggar: habari kijana
me: mzuri
beggar: nisaidie shilingi kumi
I gave him on the first day.
A week later, I passed near the place he used to beg, he greeted me, nikajibu roho safi. Akaniomba 10/- tena. Nikamwambia sina.
Nilisikia tu akisema " umevaa vizuri, tai, viatu ume piga rangi, nguo umepiga pasi na hauna shilingi kumi ?? si urudi nyumbani "
Was like WTF ?? Kwani did I owe him anything ??
and it’s KIINO atsi! :D:D:D
:D:D:D:D, Mzee una beef na Orang utangs.
Alzheimar huleta mambo mob
a master piece,well narrated! back in the days when I was a little boy, there was this lady who used to sneak into our home compound for free tap water (she n others fetched their water from the river 2 km away) whenever my mum was not around since she knew I had “roho ya ukarimu” It went on for a long time until the day I came to know she took my kindness for weakness. imagine one day she asked me if I could give her my mother’s jogoo (cockrell) akanywe supu since she had a cold. being the little boy i was and considering she was almost my mother’s age I told her I could if only she could give me her nunu I fak.she gave me that scolding look telling me to have some respect to which nikamuliza,"ata we we ulikuwa unanibeba aje? shenzi type! tembeza na ata io maji uisahao!
Mzee, learn to use paragraphs. Meffi.
Unaita mtu akuimbie? ofcos she will ask for paper, what are you? dumb?
Silly jaruo!
Siri mungich. 
Mzee mjinga, enda ukatombe mbuzi
‘and as I sink into its baby-butt soft leather’
Hapo ndio nimeshanganyikerwo kidogo
Since you are so kind si ukue side dish yangu , your money is why you’re going to be side DISH, my bae drinks three white cups at 510 na wewe moja at 520… Your benefits will include optical nutrition ,( ignore my being a shiny eye , my body refused to obey the wangeci syndrome rule) and I will sign an agreement swearing that sitakuchosha na muchene ya familiar . Deal?
Wanaiita buzi, ati ndio jina ikaribiane na pussy.
mzee anafanya mbuzi animal “husbandry”
Why is it that I never get such offers @Mrs4thletter. Is it that my eye shine brighter that most?