I been off here for quite a while… and I have been to something nicer…
Well, I am intending to marry and I just wanna know …purely for guidance purposes:
How much did you spend in your wedding (plus house furnishing?)
What was your experience in the grueling dowry negotiations?
Thank you.
Chapa msichana @bolingo, alafu kutoka hapo anza kupanga hii mambo yote…Wedding na dowry negotiations ni kisirani tu utajitwika…
Amekuzalia??Kama hajakuzalia hii ni mnyambo ya punda
not everyone anataka kuoa kiharamu …if its normal on your side of religion, then shauri yako nanii
Dame yako ni mjanja kukuliko. Wewe ni mjinga na huwezi saidika.
Watu wetu wakiskia unataka kupelekea mahari dame hajakuzalia wanakupiga mob justice hadi ujinga ikutoke. They also can’t attend ruracio kwa mtu hajakuzalia kwanza. Hawapendi ujinga. Hawawezi jisumbua na mtu hajakuzalia, wanatakanga evidence kwanza
Sisemi wakikuyu, nasema watu wetu. My extended family dont care about fines, but they can’t come to a negotiating table if there is no kid as evidence. My cousin tried akaambiwa na wazee awaite after msichana amepata mtoto wake, not before. Alihandwa sana na wazee juu ya kujaribu kuwafanyisha ujinga. They wanted evidence haoi tasa among other reasons. Walienda this year wakati mtoto alizaliwa. Halafu mtoto ni bargaining chip important sana. It is natural to insist juu they wanted the best for him. The only time they can agree ni kama jamaa ndiye ana kasoro.
People are different. You are reasoning from the perspective of a girls family (your perspective). I am reasoning from the perspective of the man’s family. Kwa hivyo hatuwezi elewana. The elders are there to ensure that the man gets a good deal in that negotiation. Part of that good deal is a kid. Ndio maana hawaezi saidia jamaa kwa ruracio kama dame hajamzalia. Mtoi pia ni bargaining chip in a way juu ni leverage. The opposite applies if its a lady. They have no issues jamaa akiracia hata kama dame hajamzalia. The requirement of a kid only applies kama ni jamaa wenyu anataka kuoa mrembo, not the other way around.
And that’s exactly why they are called dowry negotiations to bring the two parties to an agreement that’s acceptable to all.
90 goats? Heheheeee…
90 goats huyo mjinga alikuwa analipia nini?
naweza understand dame mwingine akilipiwa lakini huyu??!!!
waaaaaaah watu huoshwa
Recently my cousin was getting married… The guy aliitishwa atleast 99 goats na elders… . He was lucky my uncle didn’t care for that, he was happy his daughter was getting married… So alimwita kando and told him not to worry. He has his blessing and can bring anything.
In this day and age dowry should be obsolete. Its practice made sense during sweet times long gone. Now? Vestigial. Haimek sense na hii age ya maslay quin.
Mzee mjanja uncle yako huyo.
Especially now when girls get married after giving it up to over 30 guys in their sexual life.
Dowry should only be paid to virgins.
Nasikia hata wewe unalipiwa kondoo 99 huko morogoro ili mboo ikuingie!
Hata virgin zi. Ever shagged a married woman of late? Imagine mabwana zao wamepata hasara kiasi gani hata kama wakilipia alikuwa virgin? In modern times marriage should be scrapped and we all just freelance.
customarily in agikuyi its 99-100 goats, a goat is then converted to money whereby one can be equivalent to 1bob-1M+. its not proper to clear the dowry at once, its a lifelong debt, such that ukienda kwa kina msichana unabeba kakitu eg shukari wena mercuri, bofuro, mutura etc etc
enda kwa AG, kisha chips-sausage na ice-cream/soda pale Uhuru Park, then muanze maisha.
Kwa wazazi wake unaenda after 1year to introduce your newborn.
Wazi mzito. Copy that. Modern man talking.