Hambari wandau. How is your long weekend going? Yangu iko hivi so far:
So Jana Friday niliamua kufika ocha kusalimia wazazi na wenyeji wa huku. So I arrived safely thanks to Jehovah. Today being a Saturday, I decided to help out in the homestead duties like attending to cows, feeding chicken, tidying the compound and such. After a very busy morning, I decided to relax at around 1pm, since lunch was also ready. I also wanted to escape the searing afternoon sunshine since I still had a slight hangover at the back of my head. So tukala lunch, nikaona news halafu nikatoka hapo nje Kwa kamti nirelax kwa kivuli na pia niangalie vile mnasema hapa kijijini. Just before 2pm, I felt like dozing and I found myself drifting to Dreamland. Just after about 20 minutes, I was woken up by sounds of car horns. Not one but a convoy of several vehicles. I rose and went to ask what it was. My mum interjected and told me that hizo gari zinakuja rurashio kwa neiba fulani anayeitwa Kimani.
This news excited me. I will tell you why later. After about 15 minutes, the hooting stopped and singing by women started. You know those Kikuyu songs that women sing as they approach the bride’s home during the dowry-paying ceremony. Mrs Shosho or Mzee Meria Mata will inform you that these women sing and the subject of the song is the mother of the bride. The name of the bride must be mentioned. As in “hodi guku, kwa nyina wa Lydia…”(if Lydia is the name of the girl to be ‘bought’)
I Listened to the song carefully to hear whose dowry they had come to pay. Ilikuwa ya Warigia. And I smiled loudly like Raira on receiving the cheque after the handshake. Warigia was my girlfriend a few years back. We last ‘met’ two years ago. We had pushed for some three years but distance pushed us apart and we parted ways. I used to fikisha her threshold but I can’t say that she was so good. She once screamed during the act until some neibas thought she was being attacked. Last December, she asked me to visit her but I declined. Anyway, I learnt today that she is getting married to a guy. The guy and his clan had come to bring ‘things’. I don’t even know the guy but I believe that one day I will come across both of them hand in hand. Akijua vile nilichapa those goods. Anyway, I wish her the best. Idd Mubarak!
There’s always that one person who has the last laugh. As long as haukumzalisha, just know that it was your time then, the pussy was never yours.
Is this the funny accident?
Hapo kusmile loudly boss umetuosha
The enthusiasm of that clan to pay for goods I got tired of eating.
@ChifuMbitika
Karibu Kanu street.
has she hit the wall ama she’s still within range?
Same to you better half,there is that guy([SIZE=1]s[/SIZE]) who used to fry her like nonsense. 
She has not yet hit it.
I am very much aware of this.
Asante mchunisha skuma
From this hekaya naona wewe na @Tall man everywhere hamuna tofauti(mama’s boy) 2 utaoa lini uhame kwa mathe, 3 kila puthy kuna mtu amechoka nayo, punguza wivu na fangi.
FYI;
- Sikai Kwa mathe but Niko ocha kutembea.
- Nimeoa na Niko na two wives.
- Sina wivu as you can see from the hekaya
- Sivuti ganja.
*Takataka humbwar kumbaff!
:D:DShe will probably introduce you to him as a good family friend and the idiot of a husband will even insist that you be invited to their home in the future. Kweli what you don’t know can never kill you
Absolutely true.
Na bado ukiitiwa harusi utapekeka zawadi na labda utahug bride na utasikia mjuols ikitwitch.
My Fren, It is always wise to choose what gems to share and what to take to your grave.
There’s nothing that gives me satisfaction than kuona Kunguru ya ocha ikiolewa.
Single mothers ocha wamekua too much, and wengi walikua wanasafisha our inoccent rungus back then.
Elaborate!
A wife is not about the freshness of the pussy. Trust me.