I have this friend of mine. Life imempiga vidole sana, he lives one day at a time.
He is a lifeyst - hiyo spelling sijui-, thus each time the nigga gets money he squanders the money, as fast as it comes. The nigga is very lucky, coz most of the time he gets good money once in a while. One minute we might be drinking jug daniels, he looks at his kamulika mwizi, sees a message from co- operative , anasema tuziwache hapo. Within the next hour we are drinking Guinness baridi, in a well manicured lawn at sovereign siutes hotel, where one beer goes for 500ksh.mind you ni saa tano asubuhi.
About three years ago, the guy picks me from my “office”… It was around 8pm,he tells me “tukimbie hapa Zimmerman tuchukue alloy rims, low profile zinauzwa bei poa, v8 itakaa poa nazo”. I got into the co-drivers seat, nikaanza kuchagua cds zilikuwa hapo, it didn’t have a usb port then.we are both country music die fans and we start singing along a loud. Tukafika Zimmer in about an hour, kumbe ata kwa gari hii nigga ilikua na pombe, so we were driving and drinking but not driving while drunk, get the difference @pamba. Tukifika Zimmer, we felt good, kale ka stage ka kwanza ka ulevi.
We parked at a certain club, ilikuwa inaitwa masai mara, red in color, with a bit of old skool theme. I always note a club’s name incase nilewe. We were hungry, so before we could “start” drinking, we had to eat, chakula mzuri. We crossed the road to the other side, kuna mechanic hutengeneza magari hapo, and car wash so the place is overcrowded and very muddy, hope kulitengenezwa. Kuna vibanda za kanjo, some have been converted into very beautiful mini bars. Others have been made to be eatery joints, where wanapikia nje, then customers wanakaa ndani.
He called the said mechanic (they have a special place in hell) and he said we wait for him, so we did. Nikachagua kibanda moja not by the quality of food or hygiene, but by the ass the owner had. Nikikula bado na safisha mecho na hio ass. After an hour, the mechanic calls and says “tumwangalie kesho amekwama mahali” fak him.
Tukavuka barabara, na hapo kwa parking we found another v8 similar to ours, almost the same numbers, both were black, but the difference was that ours had a sunroof. Walevi are easily excited and we took a mbicha. Tukaingia masai mara, a cougar was at the counter, yeye hakufurahisha sisi, tukasema twende town, jiji lenyewe sasa… Wait for part 2, how we found ourselves in 001 kwa kina @Meria Mata, na masaibu zilitupata kwa njia.